After the Court Decision

Following his return to Sleepy Hollow, Reg would appeal the decision to revoke his parole.  Later, we see that he also asks for permission to leave the facility to spend Christmas with his family. 

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September 9

Ann didn’t show up today.  Not a big surprise.  This is the third time she’s done that.  It really annoys me the way I’m treated by my friends on the outside.  I’m reluctant to contact anyone.  Nobody’s gone out of their way to do anything for me since I’ve come in here.  I’m hoping something is going to happen this weekend for Dennis and I but who knows?

We’ve got a bit of an airshow outside today.  One of the pilots was practicing for the airshow outside tonight.  Tomorrow, I’m getting some phenobarb which might give me a bit of a buzz.  That would be nice.  Fuck this abstinence shit.  It hasn’t gotten me anywhere.

September 10

Dwight M. from the RCMP was here today to interview me regarding the complaint I put in about my money.  There is some hope although I’m not overly optimistic about getting the money back.  I’m also thinking about putting in a complaint about Burt D., Montague RCMP about his reporting the accident with the Mazda to the Dept. of Highways even though I’ve never been charged.

… got in touch with Larry today.  He didn’t get anything done all week. I guess if you just expect to be let down then you won’t be let down, if that makes any sense.  What I mean is that you can’t get anyone to do you a favor while you’re in here … I’ve decided to call Ann again tomorrow and ask her again to come out.  I guess I’m getting desperate. …

I got a message today to call [Janine] this weekend.  I wonder what she wants.  Probably to settle the separation agreement.  I don’t care.

… looks like it’s going to rain for the next week or so.  That should make for a long weekend.  Next weekend I’m going to be getting some tapes for learning French so I’m looking forward to that.

September 11

We caught a cell thief today.  The new guy stole a bale of tobacco from me.  I found it in his room and I even bought him a pack yesterday!  So we ran him out of the unit.  Frankie gave him a slap and I should have too.  He’s going to do two months of hard time here!  John Murphy is in lockup for a b. and e. [break and enter] another thief.  I don’t want him in here either.

September 12

Art and Cindy were here for a visit today.  I wasn’t expecting them but it was nice that they dropped in.  They say Steven is at the house all the time but [Janine] hardly ever brings [Valerie] down.

Ann didn’t show up.  She had the phone off the hook all day.  I don’t know what the fuck that’s about, but I won’t be calling anymore.  Winston didn’t show up either.  I think he’s probably all fucked up.  I might have to get somebody to go see him – more headaches …

John M. got put in our unit today.  He’s not a bad guy but I think it’s him who stole my bracelet.  He’ll never admit it though … the guards brought in three papers today that helped to pass the time.  Overall the weekend and this month seems to be going fast.  And, I hope the weather stays nice for a while.

September 13

Frankie and I got moved to the centre unit today.  They say they’re painting the left unit so they moved us all out.  So we’ve got a pretty good unit together now:  me, Frankie, Jason, [Terrence], Jimmy and Monte.  I’m getting to like Frankies sense of humor.  It’s sort of like mine.

… the French tapes didn’t arrive today, maybe tomorrow.  I’ll be able to get advice from Jim now that we’re in the same unit …John Bradley said to Frankie today that I have “brains coming out my ass” … I guess that’s a compliment …

I kinda enjoyed church tonight.  Frankie has a rash on his dick and I asked them to pray for him in church.  That was funny.  I got a letter from Jolene and I was talking to her in church.  She expects to get nine months so maybe she’ll be out around the same time as me … it was John’s last night in church, the last time I’ll really get to see him.  I’m going to miss that guy.  We had a lot of good times here.  I’m glad I met him …

Ian was avoiding me today.  I’m getting pissed off about that.  He is going to pay one way or another.  And Larry and Dave still haven’t picked up the package that’s been ready for 3 days now.  I expected more from Larry.  Who can you trust … [Terrence], Frankie, Jason and I emptied out our toilets tonight after lockup.  We can all talk and hear each other clearly.  Jason had the radio on and we could all hear it loud and clear.  This silly stuff makes it fun in hear.  I wish we had the girls in on the line too.  Some nights before we had about ten of us on the line.

 

September 14

It’s a pretty good unit we got together here.  I like it.  It’s sorta fun here.  The guys had a water fight today.  [Terrence] got soaked.

My French lessons came but [Supervisor] won’t let me have them in the unit – only in the library.  He’s such a dickhead.  It would be a lot easier for me if I could work on it with Jim, but I think I am going to catch on to it fairly quick …

This morning [Terrence] messed up my tray and bijous[?] freaked out.  He’s an idiot.  A whiner.  I got hold of Larry tonight and he says he’ll do a favor for me this evening.  I hope he comes through but I’m doubtful.  I’ll know tomorrow … I’m trying to get Ian on my visiting list to get things worked out with him … I’m tired of all this bullshit that people outside put me through …

September 15

[Supervisor] and [Guard1] grilled me today about 2 of my phone calls that were monitored.  In the calls I only asked for money but they jumped to the conclusion that I was asking for drugs.  Fucking boneheads.  Infidels.  Also Boujois ratted me out for pissing in dirty trays so I was worried about that … and they will let me bring the French stuff back to the unit but only on the weekends.  I guess that’s ok.  I like to get out to the library during the week anyway …

There was a big drug bust in town today.  They got Whip.  I haven’t seen him yet cause he’s still in lockup.  Tomorrow, I’ll get more information …

Frankie and [Terrence] had a water and shaving cream fight this morning.  It was quite a mess.  And Jim emptied out Frankie’s toothpaste and filled it with lotion but Frankie caught on …

I saw the doctor about my pills.  They’ve been reduced.  I find that I’m shaky a lot but we’re going to try it for a few weeks and see what happens.

 

 

 

September 16

I’ve been working on my French the past few days.  I think I’m coming along well.  I should have a good grasp on it by the time that I get out … Frankie pissed in a really messy tray at dinner and again Boujois ratted us out to the guards … neither Ian nor Ann not Winston showed up to visit today.  And Larry didn’t do anything for us either … Whip is in max now.  Some of these French guys they got are pretty big.  Sounds like Whip was making a lot of money.  Hope there’s some out there for me … looks like it’s going to rain all weekend, so we won’t be getting out.  Guess I’ll work on my French …

September 17

My French is coming along well, oui, oui, oui.  I’ve got the tapes in the unit for the weekend.  Jim is a pretty good help to me … Jim got good news from Montreal today.  Things will be good for us when we get out … Larry still never came through.  We’re going to get someone else to take care of it.  That seems to be the only way to get it done.  I hope we don’t have to go through this all over again … I got a letter our to Tyler today.  I haven’t heard from him in a while … the weekend is upon us again, the past few days really went by fast.

September 18

A rainy day.  We didn’t get outside all day.  So we stayed inside and watched Frankie light his farts, “blue angels” … I spent about three hours working on my French.  Making progress …  John gets out tomorrow so it looks like I won’t see him again.  John and I got along well.  Guess that’s all I have to say …

September 19

Sunny out today.  Pretty nice for this late in September but it’s getting cool at night.   I fear that our evening outside time will soon be lost … I spent a few hours in the phone room working on my French.  It’s coming along pretty good and it helps pass the time.  If I can master this, I might try another language, probably Spanish or Dutch.

If I have any money together when I get out, I might go to Mexico for a week … Jim’s been trying to play a practical joke on me all day but hasn’t been successful.  I found the toothpaste in my bed on my roll of toilet paper, and the water on my seat, soon, I shall take my revenge …

Mum and dad were here for a visit but Winston and Ian didn’t show up which is not a big surprise.  Perhaps I should have let Dave take care of Ian.  He is definitely going to pay.  Trying to get visits is just a pain in the arse.  You can’t count on anybody to show up. It’s frustrating and aggravating …

Everybody in our unit is getting along well.  I kinda enjoy living here, for a jail.  If we could just get some pills everything would be perfect.

September 20

This morning they found out about the hole in our window.  So they sent us all to the gym and searched our unit.  There was nothing in it to be found but they took our extra clothes (?!?).  After the search nobody said anything to us.  We’re expecting to get a blast when [Guard1] comes in tomorrow. (they even took the sheets off my bed).

I was talking to Jolene in church.  She got five months so she’ll be out Christmas eve.  I’m glad that she didn’t get too much time but at the same time I’m disappointed that she’ll be out before me.  Oh well, maybe I’ll have a bunch of girls responding to my add by then

… I called [Janine] tonight and she wouldn’t accept the charges. Bitch, that pisses me off.  I still can’t get an answer from Winston either and I’m concerned about that … I think we’ve found someone to bring in our package.  That we’ll find out tomorrow.

September 21

First day of fall and still no package.  It looks hopeless for getting that done. … Terrance got out today.  Actually he’s out tomorrow.  He was supposed to go to Summerside jail today but they put him in lockup and left him there all day.  Assholes …

I got Jim good with toothpaste:  lighter, cup, underwear and socks.  And he got me and Frankie with a bucket of water.  Jason and Frankie stuck tobacco tubes all over the ceiling, and had to take them all down.  We are having fun here, without drugs …

Tomorrow the recreation schedule is being changed so we won’t be going out in the evenings.  That kind of sucks.  We watched Cartmans video for Come Sail Away [South Park].  That was funny.  Yesterday Jim and Frankie watched Band on the Run and all day they were singing “Regs got the Runs.”

I called home to ask about the earthquake in Taiwan to see if Lisa [Mike's wife] is okay.  And she is.  Must have gotten the shit scared out of her though.  I also called [Janine] and talked to her, asking her about her interview with the cops.  She talked to him for 3 hours.  I think he might be probing her for information, but it was hard to talk to her.  She seemed to be getting defensive.  That’s no surprise …

Still can’t get an answer at Winstons.  I wonder what the fuck is going on there.  … I asked Georgina about getting War and Peace, she says she might be able to get it for me.  I’d like to read that thing, 1300 pages.

I haven’t been able to get to the library yet this week to work on my French, but I’m picking at it here in the unit.  It seems to be more of a course in reading and writing French than spending it; not much info on pronunciation.  It’s good that I have Jim here to help me out, but he won’t be here much longer.

September 22

We got another guy in the unit today – George M., back for his 3rd bit in a row.  I was hoping they wouldn’t put him in our unit because he’s hard to listen to.  He comes up with a lot of stupid facts:  25% of the KKK are black, Marylyn Manson is Charlie’s cousin, if all the people in China jumped at once the earth would go out of orbit, …fuck off …

I gave up on trying to get our package in.  It’s just too difficult to get any help outside … Frankie got fucked around by the nurse this morning.  The doctor told him he could have his [sneakers?] and then [nurse1] said he couldn’t.  So I wrote a letter to the Nurses Association for him.  I love doing this kind of stuff …

I went back to the library to work on my French.  I think I’m coming along good but I’m worried that I may not be able to keep it as long as I want, as it is on loan from the Dept. of Education, but if not, I might be able to get something from the Public Library or even buy something.  I’d like to learn a few more languages or at least the basics of them before I get out …

We didn’t get pancakes this morning, I was pretty disappointed about that.  We had that fucking French toast twice this week … Frankie and I dressed up in KKK outfits, sheet and pillowcase.  It was funny.  We do a lot of silly things in here.  That’s why I like this unit.

September 23

It rained all day so we didn’t get outside.  And I didn’t get any visits either.  I wonder what the fuck is going on with Winston.  Jim’s friend was going to see him for me but they wouldn’t let him in …

I wrote a letter to the cigarette roller company to try and get a free roller.  I was showing the guys some of the other letters I wrote.  They got a good laugh out of them.  I think too that [Supervisor] and Verna will know that I helped Frankie with his letter but I don’t care, fuck em …

Tomorrow is the day Ian is supposed to drop off some money, we’ll see what happens … tomorrow is Friday so I can look forward to watching some South Park …

September 24

Ian dropped some cash in my account this evening, finally.  I gave $100 to Whip to pay off an old debt.  I’m glad to get that off my chest.  I hate owing money. …

I found that Larry moved off the island.  What an asshole he turned out to be … Jim made some plans with one of the new guys that might pay off well for me, as I’m his partner.  I hope I can get something going around here so I’ll be pulling my weight.  Getting sent to jail may be one of the best things that ever happened to me, in the long run …

The package that Dennis and I had got picked up but not dropped off.  I guess we’re fucked there. … I’ve got the French tapes for the weekend so I’m hoping that I can make a lot of progress on that …

September 25

George is taking control of the remote.  This is pissing me off because he watches stupid shows.  George, I think, is an idiot. … Terry M. got out today and promises to do us a favor tomorrow.  We’ll hope for the best and see what happens.  Larry went out west without doing anything for us.  What a prick!  And Dave ripped us off for a package, a very sleazy thing to do.  I can’t understand why Jim wants to work with him.  He’s obviously a scum bag …

I still can’t get an answer from Winston.  I hope that he will show up tomorrow.  I’m getting really frustrated about this.  Fuck, I hate dealing with people outside …
 

September 26

No visits today.  Looks like I’m getting fucked around.  What to do? … got in a few hours of study on my French today.  I hope I can keep the book long enough to finish it.  I am coming along good but there’s a long way to go yet.  But I have lots of free time …

September 27

I got mail today – a coupon from Cadburys and a letter from Players [tobacco].  Frankie got one from Rockport [tobacco].  I kinda have fun writing to companies.  Today I wrote to Bic to complain about their pens and to Jean Chretien to ask for a flag …

Terry fucked us around, no package.  I really thought he would do it. Bastard. … I called him this evening, just seeing what’s up with my 240.  I’m going to call Kevin tomorrow and ask him to start working on it again.  I also called about my 280 and arranged to keep it in storage where it is for the winter. …

Ann says that she will come to visit on Thursday.  Winston should be in too as he was told by Dave to come see me. … in church tonight, Frankie kept farting, really stinky ones.  Jolene gave me a letter but it’s not kinky enough.  I need something a bit racier.  Maybe next time …  Jimmy Cullins is getting married here in jail tomorrow.  That is gonna be different …

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September 28

Jimmy Cullins got married here today but they wouldn’t let any of us attend the ceremony.  Fucking bastards.  Jimmy seemed a bit down.  Suppose I would be too if I got married in this place … Frankie had his phone calls taken away for farting in church last night.  That’s about the stupidest thing I ever heard of.  It’s just one of the ways they have of fucking him around for sending out letters to complain about the nurse I guess.  The people running this place are so fucking sick.  They’ll stop at nothing to fuck with our heads.

I helped Frankie write a letter about the fart punishment to the Attorney General, Director of Corrections and The Guardian.  I really wish The Guardian would do a story about the shit that goes on around here.

September 29

Jason got moved to medium this morning.  Now it’s just me, Jim and Frankie.  And Jim only has a few days left.  I would like to stay in max until I finish the French course so I can get help from Jim (until he leaves) and Marc.  I enjoy getting out of the unit for an hour a day to work on French.  I think I’m doing alright but they talk so fast on tv that I don’t know if I ever will catch on.  Must keep at it though.  I think that I’m capable of learning many languages …

Dennis tells me that we might be able to get a big package next week, but I will have to see Winston first.  Jim is getting pissed that he’s not answering my calls.  He wants to send someone to give him a smack.  And I’m starting to agree that  that may be necessary … they wouldn’t let me put Ann on my visiting list for tomorrow.  No explanation given.  Assholes.

September 30

Well, Jim thinks he has the scabies (might have got them from the dirtbag, EL.  And they are contagious.  I don’t wanna get the little bastards … Dennis told me he might have something for me tomorrow.  Hope so!

… Winston didn’t show up again today.  Looks like somebody will have to go see him.  I don’t want this to happen but … I don’t understand why he won’t answer the phone, asshole … it was a beautiful day out today, especially for the end of September … they put Joe A. in our unit tonight.  I don’t look forward to doing time with that fucked-up old wino.  Melvin M. is in the other unit.  I guess they had court in Souris today.  I doubt that Melvin would be wise enough to bring something in with him …

We’re getting the movie channel now as Jim is watching movies all day long.  Me, I hate watching movies … John Bradley too another week off so we got the French stuff in the unit for the next 12 days.  I might even be able to finish it. … Frankie is in the room below me so I’m going to jump on the floor for a while now.

October 1

And the bullshit continues.  Dennis didn’t go outside today so that probably means he got greedy.  This is so fucking annoying …

I got a letter from the Nurses Association today asking me to fill in a complaint form. I don’t know what the fuck this is all about; I thought we already went through this.

I also got a call from a lawyer, Susan W., responding to my letter to the Lawyers Association asking for help.  She is going to do some research on the strip searches and human rights and get back to me.  If they plan on strip searching me tomorrow after my visit with the kids I think I’m going to refuse.  And I will probably spend the weekend in lock-up for that.  But I’ll do it for the cause …

Jim found out today that his sentencing has been put off for two more weeks.  He is very disappointed, as he was looking forward to getting to Springhill, or looking forward to getting out of this fucked-up place.  And Frankie was told he won’t be going to medium.  That’s obviously because of the letters he wrote … I heard that Jodi is going to be sent to the women’s prison, I guess because they don’t want to deal with her here.  It’s probably a better place anyway.  Anything would be better than here …

… Georgina gave me “War and Peace” today.  I’m looking forward to reading that.  But first, I have to finish the two books I’m reading now:  Cocaine Kings and Elsa’s Story, I am really enjoying.  War & Peace is thirteen hundred pages so that should keep me busy for a long time, probably until it snows …

October 2

Mum and dad and the kids were in today.  [Valerie] is so pretty.  But mum and dad make me uncomfortable around the kids.  I feel like I’m being monitored.  Every time they come in they whisper “talk to Steven” but then I find it hard to talk to them cause I’m under pressure … It would probably be better if [Janine] brought them in.  But she’s a bitch.  She says she wants me to have a relationship with them but she’ll do nothing to facilitate it …

We got Elery L. back in our unit today.  I’m not sure if he’s ok or not.  He seems kind of obnoxious but there’s 4 guys to play cards now so I might get the tv to myself … Dennis is in the hole.  I guess he fucked up and ate all the pills.  Just another asshole, one of many I’ve met this past year …

Frankie and I dressed the salt and pepper shakers up in KKK outfits at lunch.  It looked pretty funny … my ad hasn’t appeared in the paper yet.  I’m kinda disappointed about that.  I was hoping to get some mail.  I would have enjoyed corresponding with some females, yeah …

October 3

Well another weekend is over.  Only about 22 left now …! … again Winston didn’t show up.  I don’t know what the fuck he’s up to but it doesn’t look good … my tape player broke down today and John Bradley won’t be back for a week so I will have to get along without it … I’ve finished the books I was reading and now I’m starting into War and Peace.  I think I’m-a gonna like it …

October 4

Jim went to court today but his sentencing was put off (again) till the 22nd.  And Elery the dirtbag went to court too but he hasn’t come back yet … Frankie and I and [Supervisor] got into a big argument today.  I really got the bastard pissed off.  He made Frankie take off his cross but we put up a good fight (argument).

Dennis came back to max, empty handed.  This thing is just fucking hopeless …

Nobody farted in church tonight … Jolene took off early.  I don’t know what was wrong with her.  Must be in a bad mood about something …

I’m not sure if this French course is any good.  I’m learning lots of words but I don’t get to use them much.  Jim seems a bit cranky about helping me out.  I wish I was stuck in a French jail for a couple months.

October 5

Tuesday.  Hmmm … I got a letter from Tyler this morning.  He’s at the farm now and going to Ontario soon.

I also got a letter from DuMaurier [tobacco].  Looks like I’ll be getting a free carton of cigarettes … all kinds of fun stuff coming in …

Frankie made a bracelet this evening.  I kinda like it … Jim C. went off at Merle tonight.  That was good to see.  We have to put up with so much bullshit here, usually over little things that sooner of later somebody is going to explode … I heard today that Martin Dorell died.  I was going to meet him when I got out … time waits for no man …

October 6

Frankie’s gone.  We knew something was up when we saw [Guard1] standing in the kitchen with some papers in his hand and looking excited.  He nabbed Frankie in the hall.  I guess his reason was that he was wearing a necklace (?!?) but it was really about Frankie writing letters about the nurse.  I think [Guard1] wanted Frankie and me split up because I was urging him on.  [Guard1] is a fucking peice-of-shit asshole and I guess Frankie told him so - way to go Franko.  But they cleaned out his cell so he won’t be coming back.  I’ll kinda miss having Frankie around.  He’s a good guy.  But things change so quickly around here.  People are always coming and going whenever we get a good bunch of guys in the same unit, the guards always want to fuck it up.  I wish death on [Supervisor] and [Guard1] G.  I hate those bastards.  This place is full of assholes; not the inmates, but the guards.  They fuck us over for the stupidest little things.  If I ever do time again it’s going to be Federal …

October 7

Every day seems to be getting a bit longer than the one before it.  Maybe that’s because it’s getting too cold to go outside.  Maybe I just want to get out.  I’ve been here for almost a year and still have five months to go … Frankie will be coming back to max on Saturday.  I head that from [Supervisor] M.  He isn’t impressed with the way this was handled by [Guard1] and [Supervisor] either.  It was so childish … I guess this weekend is Thanksgiving, but that means nothing in here …

October 8 - Lock-up

This morning I went to the hole … at breakfast, I noticed [Guard1] talking to Lorrie and looking at me.  After we got back to the unit, [Guard1] came up to my room and told me my bracelet had to go and to make my bed.  I ignored him.Shortly after, Lorrie came in wanting my bracelet.  I told him I wasn’t taking it off.  So he says, “I guess you want to go over there then (lockup)”.  And so I went.

I told the guys in the other unit what was going on and they all laughed (this is getting foolish).  When I got to lock-up the guys working there just shook their heads when I told them why I was there.  They put me out back in the cell with the camera.  Frankie was there in the middle cell.  He was allowed to walk around and I gave him a cigarette, and I was glad that he was there.  Later, [Supervisor] and Every took me out to tell me I was guilty of possession of contraband, and refusing an order.  They gave me three days on each, concurrent.  Pretty severe, I think, for wearing a bracelet!  What a pair of assholes they are! Then they put me in the back cell with the camera.  I guess [Supervisor] wanted them to watch me.  So I kept covering the camera with toilet paper and then they moved me into the back corner cell.

Frankie and I talked for a while.  We passed cigarettes back and forth with the blankets, almost got caught twice.  Jonathan said he smelled smoke and Sherri said she thought it smelled like Spruce (we were using newspaper for rolling papers) so they figured it must be the wood chip furnace. Ha ha.

Mike G. got put out back with us.  He’s doing weekends.  Funny, I was just talking to Frankie about him and then he came in.  I haven’t talked to him in years.  I got his phone number and he said he’d do me a favor if I can work it out.  Later on Frankie got moved to ‘seg [segregation] ‘cause there was a lot of drunks coming in.  they were going to move him tomorrow anyway for a few more days and then around one in the morning they woke me up and take me back to max because they needed my cell.

George is working so Jim was up watching TV and I was able to get some papers and tobacco and make another package.  I’m all set now!  Easy time in the hole.  I also wrote out some French stuff so I can study it tomorrow.  I guess I’ll be going back early in the morning.  But I’m glad I was able to come back early in the morning.

October 11, 1999

Thanksgiving.  I get out of the hole this morning.  It really wasn’t all that bad this time.  I think it gets easier every time you go there.  Of course having smokes made it better.

Saturday night I was sent to max again because there was a lot of drunks coming in so I packed my arsehole with tobacco, papers, a pencil and some crossword puzzles.  I had quite a load up there.  And I smuggles in the French book in my underwear … Dennis was there Saturday.  The guys in max ran him because they say is a rat.  Frankie got sent down to medium …

I shaved half of my face today, just to do something different.  Everybody got a laugh out of it.  I was in church tonight talking to Jolene.  I gotta spend a few nights with her when I get out.  Her letters are getting a bit more interesting … more sexual content.  I like that.  …

The baseball playoffs (is that the word) are on tonight so we are allowed to stay up late (watching the pornos on the French channel is what will be done, no doubt).

October 12

Well the long weekend is over and everything is back to normal, except us.  Joe shaved half his face.  I may have started a trend – good side, bad side …

I scored a bunch of magazines in the library, that was a bonus.  And John will get another French course when I finish this one … was talking to Carl P.  He wants to come for a visit so I’m going to try and get him on my list tomorrow. He’s trying to locate Winston for me …

Baseball is on again tonight so we can stay up late … But it’s not worth staying up late if we have to watch baseball … As of tomorrow I’ll have 148 days left.  I shouldn’t be counting but I just couldn’t help myself…

October 13

Another boring day.  No luck with the phone calls.  Can’t get an answer at Ann’s or Mikes.  Another jailhouse promise?  Perhaps Carl can help me out …

We got another guy in our unit so there’s six here now.  Too crowded, I think.  I wish they’d open minimum again and clean the place out… I find myself thinking about Jolene a lot.  Hope she’s still around when I get out.  We could have some fun. …

John’s not going to be in for the rest of the week so I’ll be getting the French tapes for the rest of the week.  I hope to finish by Monday and start another one …

October 14

Just another day, another boring day.  No mail, no visitors.  Max is full now and it’s just too crowded here.  Medium is full too. I don’t understand why they won’t open up minimum …

The teacher forgot to drop off the French stuff for this morning (he’s at a teachers meeting) and both [Supervisor] and [Counselor] refused to get it for me.  I hate asking that fucker for anything and she’s not much better …

I did get some letters written to colleges in Ontario and Quebec.  I’m thinking now that Montreal would be a good place for me to live in maybe a year or two.  It’s not too far away and I think I could make some money with my connection there.  I gotta be in a city.  Jim wants me to move to Moncton next year and I might do so but eventually I would like to settle down in a real city, and I sorta got roots in Montreal.

October 15

Bad news today.  Very bad news.  Winston got busted.  They got him yesterday with a hundred grams so he’s fucked.  I guess he was doing well but things are pretty well fucked now.  What an opportunity that’s been lost; just as things were looking up. Plus ca la meme chose …

I finally got to talk to Ann in Toronto today.  She’s got a broken leg and the future at Canadian’s uncertain now.  I hated telling her I wasn’t getting out this year but life goes on without me.

October 16

It could have been a good day but there’s too many of us here and I can’t get at the tv.  Elery and the newfie sat in front of it all day.  If I go outside at two o’clock Elery grabs the remote and hangs onto it all day.   Fuck!  I’ll be glad when this place clears out some.  It doesn’t have to be this crowded.  If only they would open up minimum … tomorrow, I’ve got a lot of work to do in French.  I’m trying to get it finished so I can start another one.

October 17

Another week down.  I’ve got about 20 to go now … Carl didn’t show up today.  I really thought he would and I’m disappointed that he didn’t but that happens all the time.  People always seem to have something more important to do than visit a friend in jail.  I guess that’s just the way it is (some things will never change …) …

I finished my French course today.  I’m hoping that John can get me to another one tomorrow.  I need something to do with my time.  Tomorrow we have church.  I’m looking forward to that so I can talk to Jolene for a bit.  I miss the companionship of a female.  I hope she’s still around when I get out now that Winston got busted.  Just when everything was starting to look good, it falls apart.

October 19

I didn’t bother writing anything last night.  It was just another boring day.  Winston got out.  I guess I won’t see him till I get out but I think it’ll work out ok … Jolene wasn’t in church.  I wouldn’t have been able to talk to her anyway because [Guard 3] rushed us out as soon as they set their bibles down, so the guys wouldn’t be late for gym.  They could have at least given us five minutes.  Colis! [French swear word] …

Not much going on today either.  John hasn’t been back with more French tapes yet so I’m finding the afternoons long.  At least I had some magazines to read today.  That’s one of the reasons I like Max, the guards bring in papers sometimes.  I wish it would clear out though.  This unit just isn’t big enough for six.  I’ll be glad when Elery leaves.  He’s not a bad guy but he hogs the remote and he’s a pig.  I don’t think I like the new guy either but he should be gone in a few days …

George let us stay up all night last night.  He said she doesn’t care anymore. It’s not just the inmates who hate [Guard1] and [Supervisor].  I didn’t stay up cause Elery had the remote.  I don’t like watching tv unless I have control.   Fuck, I’ll be glad to get out of here.  I’m just so sick of sharing my space with a bunch of other guys I hardly even know …

I’m trying to decide if I want to go to medium now.  A change might be good, but Frankie says he finds the time long.  I always found the time long in medium too.  It’s crowded there too, eight in every unit.  But I would like to get out a little more often, to the library and to AA … I don’t know …

Last night it snowed a bit for the first time.  The best thing about being here is that I won’t have to go outside all winter, unless I want to.

October 20

Not much happened today.  It’s getting very monotonous.  I think the highlight of my day is reading The National Post.  I’m glad we have [Guard 3] working here.

I haven’t been able to work on the French for the past few days either.  I think the time went better when I had something to do …

Finally got to talk to Ann today.  Things are good if I can get Carl to get in touch with Mike before he gets in for the weekend.  I’m doubtful that it will work out but "there’s always hope", as Santa would say …

A couple of the guys are going to court tomorrow so I’m hoping this place will clean out a bit.  It’s just too damn crowded with six in here and only two soft chairs … as of today, I’ve got 20 weeks left, 140 days, or 420 more meals

October 21

I got 2 visits today – Carl and my parents (I haven’t seen Carl for about 2 years).  I hope he can work things out with Mike and Ann for me.  That would be sweet …

We got rid of two guys from our unit today, so it’s a little better here.  Jim is going tomorrow.  We have big plans for when I get out.  Hope it works out. … I got another French course today.  There’s not much to it but it does not have some everyday phrases that should be useful …

Jim C. freaked out in the kitchen at lunch, smashed a plate over his head and held a piece of it up to his throat.  They took him to the hospital overnight, guess he’s ok now.  [nurse] is somewhat responsible, by cutting off his medication while he’s under a lot of stress.  He may be going away for 8-10 years …

[Guard 3] told me this evening that a carton of DuMaurier came in the mail for me.  This scam is paying off good …

I found out today that next year is a leap year.  I’m not pleased about that.  It’s an extra day that I’ll have to spend in jail …

October 22

Jim went for sentencing today but it was put off again for 2 more weeks.

October 23

My pen ran out of ink last night.  What happened yesterday was that I called Carl and Tracy, the ... bitch, told the guard that they didn’t want me calling there anymore.  Carl, it would seem, is a fucking asshole.  I thought we were friends from way back.  It’s so frustrating dealing with people on the outside from in here.  Fuck em all, I guess.  But I’ll remember these things …

I got my duMaurier cigarettes yesterday.  What a cool scam that was! … I had control of the remote all day today.  Sweet.  The guys were all playing whist.  I watched a show, “Behind the Music”, about Ozzy.  That made my day right there.

The baseball game was on two, so we stayed up till 12:30.  It should be that way every night. … I’m kinda getting bogged down in War and Peace.  I find it hard to follow because there are so many characters in it and I still have 700 more pages to go …

I hope that [Guard 3] will bring in a paper tomorrow so I’ll have something to read.  Sunday is always such a long boring day here.  On the outside too as well, I suppose …

October 24

I spent the whole day reading newspapers and I enjoyed it.  I’m an information junkie.  I also wrote a letter to Tyler and one to Jolene.  I hope she can go to church tomorrow so I can pass it to here (give it to her (!)) … I’m getting so tired of living with other guys.  Every time a good looking girl comes on the tv, you hear some stupid remark.  And everybody burps and farts.  Everybody laughs at the fart.  I shouldn’t be counting the days but I just can’t help it.  It’s 1:35 now.

October 25

I’m so fucking sick of this place.  Every day is the same.  I’m sick of the food, sick of not being able to watch what I want on tv … it seems like this month will never end.  I’ve given up on trying to get a package in.  It’s just too much trouble.  I should just forget about the world outside.  Just do my time and get the fuck out. …

There was hardly anybody in church tonight.  Frankie and Jason weren’t there.  There must be drugs around in medium.  Jolene wasn’t there either.  I guess she doesn’t love me anymore … hmmm.  I liked writing to her.  None of the girls went to church tonight that’s unusual.  Maybe there was some kind of trouble down there … I’ve got an itch arse.  I hope it’s not the scabies … but I can’t stop scratching it.

October 26

I got a letter from [Janine] this morning.  She wants to get the divorce agreement signed.  No problem here.  She typed the letter which, it seems to me, is cold and impersonal, but that’s no surprise.  I’m better off without her.  She can be replaced but I’m one of a kind. …

I’ve decided to re-apply for parole.  It’s unlikely I’ll get it but I haven’t got anything to lose.  If I would just get in a program before March I’d be happy.  I got a letter from the parole board yesterday outlining the reasons for it being revoked.  It said it was unfortunate that I didn’t propose another plan but Louis B. didn’t tell me that was an option.  He’s a little prick.  I was talking to Brian S. today and he said that while it seems unlikely I would be granted another parole, he would help me if I wanted to apply again.  It’s worth a try, I think.  And it’ll give me something to do. ..

Joe A. got transferred to medium.  He’s not a bad guy after all. And the stupid Indian got out so we’re down to a more manageable four now.  Elery will be gone this Saturday and Jim on Monday …

I’m not getting much time to work on my French this week because they’re writing GED’s in the library.  I have the tapes in my room but I just can’t seem to get into it here.  I should buy some of my own language courses to work on while in here.  That’s an idea.  I’ve also sent to some colleges in Ontario and Quebec for info about correspondence courses.  I might be able to get in one before I get out …

Investigative Reports is about heroin tonight.  That should be interesting …

October 27

Things are getting better.  Once I get past the first few weeks of the week the time seems to pass more quickly … I got the rest of my duMaurier cigarettes today.  Gave a pack to Jim, one to Jolene, one for myself and the other one I’m going to save for Christmas or New Years …

Elery and James were in the other unit playing cards all day so it was peaceful in here.  I’m getting sick of hearing them talk about how much dope they’re going to sell when they get out.  I wish Jim would be more discreet.  I fear that he’s going to get hooked up with the wrong guys and get busted again.  He’s not fussy about who he deals with, perhaps even a bit gullible.  I’m starting to question my decision to work with him.  It may be motivated by greed rather than by logic.

… I finally got something to eat today.  I’ve just been eating crackers and bread for the past few days cuz the meals were garbage.  I’m so so so sick and tired of the food here.  Oh, how I miss pizza and Kentucky Fried Chicken.  And pop and beer.  But March isn’t too far away.  It would be sweet if I could do the program in my last month.  I might put in an application for that tomorrow.  I might be able to get in the first program at the new detox.  I hope they get rid of those Father Martin [detox?] … As of tomorrow I will have been here a year, a whole fucking year … wasted? …

October 28

This is my one year anniversary.  Not much to celebrate though.  I won’t be out for a while yet.  Everybody else here was getting bad news today about charges so that made my situation seem better.  I’ll be out a lot sooner than most of the guys in max.  Whip and Mark are looking at 5-7 years … Elery and I made some plans for when I get out.  I’m still thinking about living in Summerside for a few months … Jim’s downstairs talking to himself.  We’re all getting a bit crazy, I guess …

October 29

A most enjoyable day this one.  This morning I got a calendar in the mail which lists all the courses available by correspondence from every college in Ontario that offers these courses.  That’s exactly what I was looking for.  One of them offers a technical writing certificate entirely by correspondence.  Unfortunately it requires the use of the internet and [Supervisor] the asshole will not allow that.  I also got a letter from a college in Sherbrooke, Quebec which tells me about a certificate program offered at the university there.  I’ve written for more information.  Living in a French city is appealing to me.

After reading my mail I was unable to sleep so I wrote a 700 word story about a typical day in jail which I plan to send to The National Post and perhapsReaders Digest.  I think it’s pretty good … At lunch they served me 2 day old leftover chicken legs.  I should have said something about that shit.  But I just took it and gave it to Whip.  Instead, I ate four Jello and pissed all afternoon.  That stuff goes right through me. …

This afternoon I had a meeting / session with the psychiatrist who works for corrections.  I wasn’t expecting this.  Apparently my mother thinks I’m crazy and asked him to talk to me.  But I didn’t mind talking to him.  He seemed like a nice enough guy, Sputs brother.  He asked about the letters I’ve written and how the jail has reacted to them.  I think he saw my point that I’m being punished unreasonably for speaking out.  He told me that he would talk to [Supervisor] the asshole about this.  I’m interested in hearing what he has to say.  I also asked about taking an IQ test and he said he just received a new one and I will be able to take it.  I’m looking forward to see the results from that … Jolene walked by while I was talking and waved and said hi so I guess she still loves me.  Now I must talk her into staying in PEI till I get out in March.

Ya, the psychologist also told me if I would be able to get a TA for treatment.  I hope so … Elery is leaving tomorrow.  So I called Ann and she said it’s ok if he drops by, so if all goes well I’ll be quite happy next weekend.  Jason is also back in our unit.  Apparently, he got some pills and freaked out at Gordie.  It’s too bad he wouldn’t share them with us but he’s always been tight with his drugs … so everything seemed to go well today.  Hope the weekend is the same.

October 31

Well it was a pretty good weekend, all in all, it went by fast.  Elery left yesterday.  He wasn’t a bad guy, after all.  I heard he was seen at the liquor store in Summerside when it opened that morning … tomorrow, it will be just me, Jason and James.  I don’t know if I’ll like that.  James talks too much and always wants to watch movies.  At least I won’t have to listen to him and Jim talk about selling drugs any more.  Jim knows nothing about being discrete, unfortunately …

I finished the French course today.  I spent all evening and half the afternoon working on it.  Well, it kept me busy anyway.  I never even had time for a nap … I showed the story I wrote to Jason and Mark and they both said it was good.  Guess I will send it to the Post and Readers Digest, maybe even The Guardian.  I would love to see it published …

I also wrote 13 letters to various colleges in Ontario for information about correspondence courses and Mark told me that Sherbrooke is mostly English so I’m very interested in that.  Only 90 minutes from Montreal, too.  I’ll have to get right to work when I get out …

I also plan to appeal my parole decision tomorrow and re-apply to the detox’s in Charlottetown and Summerside.  It’s all downhill from here, 130 more days.  I’m going to apply for a Christmas pass as well.  I doubt that I’ll get it (not if [Supervisor] the asshole is involved in the decision) but it’s free to ask.  I’ll have to talk to Sputs brother about that.  Maybe he can help.

November 1

I was just listening to Burton Cummings and Randy Bachman on TV.  It was fucking great.  Everything went well today.  My mother called today and said that she was talking to Paul M. and he confirmed that he will accept me for another program.  So, using that information I wrote a four page letter to the Parole Board explaining why I think their decision is unfair.  I think it’s a really good letter and may help to get me out sooner, maybe even in December.  At least I’ve got something to focus on …

Jolene was in church.  She still loves me.  And she was looking good tonight.  She is a pretty girl.  I can’t wait to get her alone.

… Jim got remanded again in court today, for a week.  The prosecutor is now asking for 9 ½ years, quite a stretch. I don’t think he’ll get that much but I don’t think he’ll get off as easy as he expected either.  It’s some serious charges he’s up on.  I don’t think he realizes how serious.

James got sent to medium today so for a while it was just me and Jason.  I kinda liked it that way but then Jim came back, and tomorrow Marc and Lorrie want to move over.  Things are constantly changing.  I won’t mind having them in here.  It might help for when I get out …

Jason seems pretty down lately.  I thought he might be on valium, but now I think it’s depression, probably cause he fucked up on his chances for parole.  I hope he snaps out of it.  It’s a hard way to do time like that.  Myself, I haven’t wasted any time feeling sorry for myself.  I try to take things easy.  Someday this will all be behind me and everything will be alright.

November 2

I got my appeal all ready. Added a few more paragraphs too for the coup de grace or whatever.  I’m feeling pretty good about it.  It just might get me out in December …

I got pissed off at Jim today.  He doesn’t like Burton Cummings so he didn’t think I should watch it either.  I did watch it but he put me in a bad mood so I didn’t enjoy it as much as I should have.  I’m getting sick of Jim, always whining about how long he’s been here.  I’ve been here twice as long and I’m not whining about it.  And I can’t tell him anything.  He runs out of money and he calls Dave, expecting that arsehole to drop off $300 bucks.  Of course, Dave doesn’t show up and then he calls Rubin.  Of course he’s broke too.  He’s a total fuck-up. I can’t understand how he doesn’t see this.  He’s got a lot to learn yet. …

We had meatloaf for supper and it was pure fucking garbage.  I dream of Kentucky Fried.  Jai reve de poulet fried de Kentucky.  We finished the second batch of French tapes and now I’m waiting for the next one. … one of the guards just came in and took Jason’s chair.  The same guy did the same thing last night.  Weird …

Draft of Appeal Letter:

I would like to appeal the decision to revoke my parole which was rendered on September 8, 1999.  There are several reasons for this appeal:

I was told by my Parole Office, Louis B., that I should not present another treatment option at my hearing (see page 2 of “Assessment for Decision”).  I understood that what was to be decided was whether my parole would be revoked, or terminated (as I had hoped).

However, at the hearing on Sept. 8, I learned that treatment was still an option.  I feel that I was not given the opportunity to properly prepare for this hearing.  I had been told by Paul M. at Prince County Addictions that I would be accepted fro another program.  I could have had a written statement from Mr. MacKenzie to present at my hearing had I known that this option would be considered.  (On Monday, Nov. 1, Mr. MacKenzie again confirmed with my mother that he would accept me for a program, although the Half-way house in Summerside is closed to any and all parolees).

It is stated in the “Assessment for Decision” that there is a linkage between my use of illicit drugs and criminal activity.  I agree with this statement.  However, I did not consume any illicit drugs.  I did drink two beers.  I realize that I should not have been drinking, however, I don’t feel that it is fair to make the assumption that my consumption of alcohol would lead directly to the use of cocaine or heroin and then to criminal activity.  This, I feel, is a stretch of the imagination.  What is proven though is that after 20 years of drug abuse, I began to get treatment on February 1, 1998.  Since that time I have been free of drugs or alcohol with the exception of this incident and one other in October of 1998.  At that time, I consumed a small amount of phenobarbitol, which is a drug used in treatment centers to reduce craving.  It is not a street drug and does not, in my opinion, to my knowledge, produce a “high”.  Because phenobarbitol is a prescription drug and it was not prescribed to me, I was discharged from Talbot House, and as a result, my conditional sentence was revoked.  I don’t mean to downplay these incidents but I have learned that a relapse can be turned into a positive thing if the knowledge gained from that relapse is used to prevent another.  I feel that I have made significant progress since entering into treatment and it frustrates me that  even though I have made many positive changes in my life, the mistakes I have made seem (in the eyes of the law) to outweigh what I have done right.  Addiction is not an easy disease to overcome.  It is a constant battle but I feel that I have made many good decisions in the past 2 years.  My family is still supportive and, I believe, agrees with me that being warehoused in Sleepy Hollow is not the answer.  I have been here for more than twelve months.  All my urine tests have been negative.  I have been involved in AA here and have even chaired some meetings.  There is very little treatment available here.  I fail to understand how the decision to revoke my parole with a further three months incarceration does anything to deal with my addiction.

In the NPB [National Parole Board] Post Release Decision Sheet it states that “substance abuse remains an untreated risk factor”.  It seems illogical that, although treatment is needed and available, I would be denied access to it.  It also states that “it is unfortunate that a treatment option was not advanced for consideration”.  As I said before, a treatment option was available.  But I was not told beforehand that I would have the option to present an alternative plan.

In conclusion, I feel that there is enough information to justify a review of the decision to revoke the parole.  What I would like to see is that my remission be recredited as an opportunity given to attend a program at Prince County Addictions .

Sincerely,

R. MacDonald

November 3, 1999

I stayed up all morning playing Scrabble with Jason.  I beat him 3 times but he got me tonight. … I had a run-in with [Counselor] the giant bitch this morning. I asked if I could get a French newspaper and she said no.  There’s no reason for that other than just to fuck me around.  1999_1103_letter

I also asked about getting a T.A. to the library and she wouldn’t even consider it.  Fucking bitch, I hate her.  So I wrote a letter about it to Verna, Herb Dickinson, and Wes MacAleer.  Except for Verna’s letter, I sent them to a lawyer so I’ll know they got out.  I probably won’t ever get a response but it’s worth a try.  I was telling Mark and Laurie about all the letters I’ve written and they were amused.  I’d like to see them come to our unit but so far, no go.  … I finished my appeal and got it sent out.  Brian S. says there’s no way I’ll win but I’m still hopeful.  I think I have a good argument. …

Jolene was working the kitchen this morning.  I guess they’re having trouble getting any help there.  I don’t know why anyone would work for those bastards for free.  Fuck them … George M. came to max from lock-up.  Wade beat him up and god knows he deserved it.  We made sure that he wouldn’t be going to our unit.  Caroll over there freaked out at some kid who wouldn’t shut his mouth.  We knew that was coming.  I’ll be surprised if he can put up with George … Jim got his money after all.  Suprisingly, Dave came through.  I bought him a pack of cigarettes anyway.  I hate to see anyone go without smokes. … I got mine free.  [tuber] today.  I’m amazed they feel for that.

[Guard 3] wants me to write a letter for him to see if he can get a bag of dogfood.  [Guard 3] left his National Post here last night and one of the guards ran off with it.  That pisses me off.  Why can’t the guards buy their own paper and leave something for the inmates?  Fucking bastards.  I received another copy of [Janine]s separation agreement today.  I’m not apposed to separation but I’m not comfortable about signing this thing till I get out.  She’s not gonna be happy to hear that, but so what, fuck her …

It was a bad day in the kitchen.  The dreaded egg sandwich for lunch and chicken legs or what was supposed to be pork chops at night.  Bastards.

Mike C. is back here.  It’s almost like a reunion; all the guys who were here last winter are coming back.  [Terrence] is on his way back too.  Hope he brings an arsehole full of pills.

November 4

Another pleasant day, except for my dealings with [Supervisor] the asshole and [Counselor] the giant bitch, that is.  This morning I was told by John B., that by order from management, I am no longer allowed to take the French tapes back to the unit on weekends.  Obviously, this is a punishment for me questioning her judgement.  Obviously, it’s bullshit.  I spoke to [Supervisor] the asshole about it and perhaps he will back down.  But I have written a letter to CBC Radio which I am sending regardless of what happens.  All I have to do is get a guard to smuggle it out and mail it for me.  And I may be able to get a French paper by having one sent to Mark.  I think that one way or another I’ll be able to get one in.  I enjoy this controversy, in a way, because it gives me something to focus on.  I had a meeting with Sputs brother, Sandy, today and he says he will look into this for me.  He’s a good guy and seems to have sided with me.  I hope he has some pull around here.  Will find out soon enough … I also got my crossword puzzles from my personals today.  I asked Bubba to get them for me as he is unaware of [Supervisor] the assholes ban.

… my mother was in today and it was a pleasant visit.  I asked her to get me a subscription to either the Chronicle Herald or the Toronto Star.  I’ve been told I can’t have a subscription but I want to see what happens when they start arriving in the mail.  If they won’t give them to me they are going to have to store them for me and they will take up a lot of room … Sput gave me a Toronto Sun and [Guard 3] gave me a National Post this evening so with those and my puzzles I am sure to have something to do all weekend.

Paul M. is also coming to see me tomorrow and I hope to hear that he will indeed take me for a program.  I will have to fax that info to the parole board if so.  I was asking [nurse1] the bitch about going to a dentist as I have a sore tooth.  She tells me that I may have to go in hand cuffs and shackles.  I would not consider this as it would be degrading.

November 5

And the weekend is upon us again … all was well today.  Paul M. was here and he says it’s no problem for me to do another program.  We’ll have a letter for the Parole Board on Monday so I hope we can get them on side.  The next available program is Jan. 10 and I hope to be in it …

They’re still fucking me around here about the French.  Again they said I can’t take it back to my cell.  But guys who are studying for their GED’s are allowed to study in their cells.  It seems that they have a separate rule just for me.  No surprise there.  So I called the Human Rights Commission.  George wasn’t in but the lady I was talking to says it doesn’t sound right to her.  She’ll be getting back to me on Monday.

I can’t wait to see that fucking giant bitch [Counselor] have to back down. Ha ha ha they’ll be sorry they fucked with me … I finished my letter to Matt Campbell.  Now, I just have to find a guard to get it out for me.  Shouldn’t be a problem.  I wrote a letter for [Guard 3] so he can get some free dog food.  He gave me his Post and a Halifax Paper today so with my paper and the book of crossword puzzles I’m all set for the weekend.

On Monday, Mark and Lorrie are moving over here.  It should be alright having them around.  Mark can help me with the French.  And he likes to play scrabble too.  I need some competition.  I almost always beat Jason.  Sometimes, I find myself holding back cause I don’t want to beat him too badly … I miss playing Scrabble with Tyler, he really got into it. … Jolene has been working in the kitchen the past few days but I haven’t really been able to talk to her.  I look forward to seeing her on Monday cause Elsey picked up my package should be in this weekend.  Yabba-dabba-doo

Scam Letter to Purina for a guard

Dear Sir:

I recently purchased a 20 lb bag of Purina dog food.  I have been buying this brand regularly for the past few years because … well, Sparky just loves the stuff.  However, when I opened this bag, I noticed a strong smell and odor and Sparky will not eat it.  I would have returned it to the store where I purchased it, but I picked it up while on a shopping trip to Moncton, NB, and I am living in Prince Edward Island.  I don’t like to complain but I have had to buy another bag because my dog won’t eat it.  I will continue to buy Purina but I would like you to know that I am disappointed that I have wasted my money on what was obviously defective product.

Sincerely,

[Guard 3] C. and Sparky

Letter to the Radio Station

Dear Sir:

I am an inmate of the PCC (Provincial Correction Center). To date, I have served 12 ½ months of a 24 month sentence.  I have had many troubles in dealing with the management here in that time, and I am writing to you in hopes that you can publicize some of the inmates problems, and bring it to the public’s attention how we are being (mis)treated.  Whenever I have had a problem in the past that could not be resolved to my satisfaction by management.  I have taken my complaints outside by writing to various government officials.  In most cases, I have not received any response.  It seems that nobody wants to get involved.  The only result of my writing these letters is that I have been placed on some sort of institutional blacklist.  And as PEI does not have an Ombudsman, it appears that I am on my own.  There is no person to whom we can turn for help.

I would like to explain some of the situation I am bothered by.  Since I have so much free time I thought it would be to my advantage to try and better my education.   In December of last year, I asked my mother to drop off some Sociology textbooks and addiction (AA) literature.  To date, I have not been allowed to have access to these materials.  I haven’t received any explanation other than that it is the centres policy.  I am not allowed to have books (educational or fiction), magazines, newspapers, or even crossword puzzles brought in.  I can see no logical education? [reason] for this prohibition other than to punish me.  But the more I complain, the harder it is for me to get anything.  For example, for the past 6 weeks, I have been trying to teach myself French.  The teacher here, John Bradley, has obtained some learning materials from the Department of Education.  I am grateful for this but now that I have gotten a basic understanding of the language I thought that it would benefit me if I were able to go to the Confed[eration] C. Library to view and select from their materials.  I asked for permission to have a French language newspaper brought in (the benefit of a newspaper is that it is written at a grade school level and features articles of general interest and current events).  The casework supervisor, [Counselor] K, promptly denied both requests. * She was not even willing to discuss this with me.  I feel that neither of my requests were unreasonable and I told her so.  That was yesterday.  Today I have been told again that I can not have a French newspaper, and also that my access to French materials has been further restricted.  Till now, I have have been using it in the library (one hour a day, five days a week is all I am allowed), and taking it back to my cell on the weekend (this is when I get most of my studying done).  Now I am no longer allowed to have access to it.  In the library, one hour – day.  This is not adequate but I’m at a loss as to what I can do about it.  Even some of the guards have told me (presumably) that I am being ‘fucked around’ but none of them are willing to side with an inmate because it could cause problems for themselves.  I have written to Wes MacAleer but I know from past letters written to him that nothing will be done.  What I would like to see happen that you would discuss this on your call-in program and perhaps ask your listeners what their opinions are about whether inmates should be denied access to education, and if being sent to jail and separated from our families and society is punishment enough or should we also be punished while we are here?

I cannot understand how society benefits from quashing my desire to learn French in a bilingual country such as Canada.  It seems that in here we are expected to sit around watching TV or playing cards all day but an attempt to better oneself is actively discouraged.  I can see that rehabilitation is given a very low priority here.  Even AA meetings are seen as a privilege, with access granted only to the minimum and medium units.  Obviously, the majority of inmates here, whether in max,medium or min have problems with drugs and alcohol and many are here directly as a result of their addictions.

To deny access to Alcoholics Anonymous does not make any sense to me.  Not only that but we are not even allowed to have AA lit[erature].  I am completely baffled by the attitude of the administration towards rehabilitation (It may interest you to know that in 1999, two inmates, George M. and Jessie F., have died of drug overdoses within weeks of being released from here.

Another problem here is strip searches. Inmates are strip-searched on an almost daily basis.  One inmate was even strip-searched when returning from a visit with a minister!  I have been told by inmates who have been told that this sort of harassment does not happen in the Federal system (It was, in fact, a major cause of the riot at Kingston Pen in 1971).  Having contact with the family in the community, with treatment programs outside the institution, access to educational institution would, in my opinion, be beneficial in re-integrating an inmate into society.  The only way to get a pass from here is if a faily member dies and even then getting a pass is difficult (and the inmate is kept in handcuffs at the wake or the funeral).  I fail to see how just letting us sit around watching tv does anything to help prevent an individual from returning to criminal activity.  Given this, you would think that education would be encouraged.  But that isn’t the case here.

Well, I could write pages and pages about the injustices committed on the inmates.  But I hope I have given you enough information for the time being.  I would be interested in talking to you personally but that would be difficult as your are prohibited from contacting the media.  This letter, I have asked one of the guards to sneak out for me.  Thanks for listening.  I hope that you are able to help.  God knows that we need it.

Sincerely,

     

November 6

Still looking for someone to get my letter out.  [Guard 2] said he didn’t want to get involved surprisingly … We had chicken nuggets for supper.  It’s my favorite meal.  But they wouldn’t give us the extras.  I think they’ve been told to throw them out instead of giving them to us.  Bastards …

Jolene was working there this evening so I got to talk to her for a few minutes.  I’ll have to get her to lean over so I can see her tits.  Heh heh heh.

I called home tonight.  I was asking them to call George R. and maybe dad’s lawyer about the French fiasco.  They may be meeting with Wes MacAleer to discuss it with him.  I think he’s a pinhead but maybe it’ll do some good.  I was talking to [Janine], Steven and [Valerie].  I hope I can get out to see them in December.  I hope Jolene and I end up in that same program in Summerside in  January too.

… I still have 2 papers saved for tomorrow so everythings all right this weekend …

November 7

I’ve had so may papers here today I didn’t have time to read them all.  Quel dommage.  What a shame.  2 Halifax, St. John, 2 Posts.  I spent the whole day reading. … Lorrie and Mark were over for a while playing cards.  I think they’re moving in tomorrow.  I’m ok with that.  … I watched a silent movie this morning – Phantom of the Opera, the other guys thought I was nuts but I liked it.  It’s a good story.  I think if I get dressed up for Halloween I’m gonna be the Phantom … Ann didn’t show up for a visit but I expected that, she only sent four pills.  What a shame.  Quel dommage.

… I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow with the French and the Human Rights people.  I hope the asshole and giant bitch have to back down.  Assholes.  I hate them both.

… As of today, I have served 375 days out of 500 or 75% of my sentence.  I’m in the last quarter and time is passing quickly.  But if I win my appeal, I’ll only have 28 days left.  That’s easy.

November 8

It was snowing when I got up this morning.  I like the first snowfall, but it was too cold outside for me today.  So I stayed in and went to the library.  I got a new French course.  I can take the book back to the unit but not the tapes!?!  Oh well … after that I had another session with Sandy.  I’m enjoying these sessions.  He’s not full of shit like the rest of them.  Next week, we’re going to do the IQ and personality tests.  That should be interesting.  He says he figures I’m in the top 20% of the population for IQ.  If I can get 130, I’m a genius, so that’s my goal … I may be able to borrow some of his books.  He has some there that look interesting.  Sociology stuff …

Mark and Lorrie moved over here today.  It’s a good unit we have now.  Jim’s getting sentenced tomorrow and, in my opinion, it doesn’t look good.  They’re asking 9 ½ years and the article in today’s paper wasn’t very positive … Sherrie asked Jim, Jason and I if we wanted to be treated for scabies.  Jim decided to do it, but not me and Jason, although Jim saved me a bit which I may rub on my itchy arse … Zack fucked up with the pills.  We may get them on Wednesday though.  I can’t get hold off Ann yet but I’d like to set something up again.  I should get a message to Dennis too and see what’s going on.  Doesn’t hurt to ask … the guy preaching in church tonight was a real wingnut, telling us muslims are terrorists (probably true) and that they practice voodoo.  Some of those guys are right out of it … Jodi got back today.  But they’ve got her locked in the female unit alone cuz they think she was stoned.  Assholes.  Paul M. sent in my letter this morning.  It’s been faxed to Ottawa so all I can do is wait.  Even if I can just take the program before I get out I’ll be satisfied.  Might as well do it on their time, not mine.

November 10

Well, I heard some juicy gossip this evening.  It seems that [Guard1] and Michelle are having an affair … I’m sure his wife would like to know about this.  Ha ha ha ha  hahaha  I’m gonna get even with that fucking prick …

Jim got sentenced to six years yesterday, no, he didn’t fare very well.  He’ll have to do at least a year before he gets parole.  But that might allow me to get a head start.  I don’t mean to be opportunistic but …. I moved to the organized crime table in the kitchen.  I can’t handle sitting there with George.  He’s such an idiot, I had to move … Mark tells me that his brother in Montreal knew Mike, now I might be able to find out what happened … things are looking good for Mark, Lorrie and Neil.  I guess the cops fucked everything up so they might get off … I heard from the Human Rights Board today but they say there isn’t anything that they can do although they will pass on my complaint to the director of corrections … probably a waste of time, but … we’ll see  …

November 11

A holiday.  We didn’t have to get up for breakfast and we didn’t have to see the asshole or the giant bitch.  That’s whats good about holidays and weekends … it was snowing pretty heavy today.  It always seems more cozy to me inside when its snowing out.  I guess this isn’t that bad of a place to spend the winter … the pills arrived today.  We got em through the kitchen.  There were 4 oxy-codone and 8 other things which I was unable to identify by looks or by the buzz.  They weren’t much good but the OC are good.  We’re saving three till we can get a [rig?]  Oh how we missed getting high.  It’s so pleasant … I wrote a letter for [Guard1]s wife.  We haven’t sent it yet.  Before we do we’ll have to find out where she works.  We got the goods on that bastard. Ha ha ha ha  he’ll be sorry he fucked around with me.

… I also wrote out (neatly) my letter / article for the Post.  They asked for submissions of no more than 800 words and mine comes to 785.  Perfect.  I hope they’ll print it.   I washed myself with the scabie juice today.  I don’t really think I have them but I did it anyway just in case.  A lot of the guys are itchy lately.  If it ain’t scabies, I don’t know what it is.

November 12

I haven’t been able to get to the library more than once this week.  You just can’t depend on these fuckers for anything, ‘cept to make things hard for you … it was pretty much a routine day today.  Not much going on here.  Well, Jimmy left this morning to begin his six year bit.  I wonder how he’s feeling right now. I got some more college mail.  So far I’ve found the course I want to take in Ottawa, Toronto, and Sherbrooke.  All three cities are appealing to me. But I have lots of time to decide.  One way or another, I’m getting off this island … I was hoping to begin the IQ tests today but I haven’t heard form Sandy, next week then, I guess … 118 days left now.  It’s going slowly, but it’s going.

November 13

I’m a-feeling good tonight.  We snorted the new painkillers, oxy-contone, and got a pretty good buzz.  I love this feeling.  It’s so peaceful and relaxing.  Must now make plans to get more. … I was talking to mum and dad this evening.  They’ve got it all fucked up as usual.

I asked dad to talk to Matt Campbell at CBC about how the inmates are mistreated but instead he tells him about how I fucked up my parole and my conditional sentence.  So he’s not interested in doing a story.  If I want something done I gotta do it myself but that’s not easy from in here.  And mum still hasn’t done anything about getting me a newspaper subscription.  I’ve already asked her about a half dozen times.  I hate depending on them to get something done.  It’s just too frustrating. … we figured out what the mystery pills were – Ritalin.  I didn’t really enjoy the high though – but, I hear that they’re good with Talwin.  If I could get a bunch of pills in here, the time would go so fast, I’d be out before I knew it.  As it is I’m down to 117 days and I can’t stop counting.

November 14

We got through another weekend.  I’m getting to like the weekends a lot more.  They’re kinda peaceful and the guys aren’t fussy about what they watch on t.v. so I get the remote a lot …

Lorrie got a look at Jolene’s mom today and I guess she’s a real beast.  I’ll have to be careful with that girl.  But I hope they don’t make fun of her about her family.  There’s no good in being mean. Jolene’s always been nice to us.  I’m starting to feel sorry for her.  I can see why she didn’t want to live with her mother.  But there’s gotta be a better place for her than jail …

We’ll we gotta read some more of War & Peace.  I’m getting tired of it.  I wanna finish it so I can read some other stuff.

November 15

This should be the last notebook I use in here as there are now only 115 days left or less if I win my appeal.  I wonder how long it will be before I get the results of that.  I’m not really expecting to win, but as Santa would say, there’s always hope.

… there was a cop here today to interview me about the complaint I made against the asshole in Montague who seized the Mazda.  Fucking prick.  I told him my side of the story so now I want to see what happens … George M. got moved to minimum.  He wasn’t very well liked around here.  I heard from George that he called the cops on Wade after he got the beating.  As Whip would say, what a goof.

There’s only 8 of us in max now.  It hasn’t been this quiet in a long time.  But we don’t seem to be getting much extra food in the kitchen anymore.  That used to be one of the good points of max.  I don’t know if [Guard1] had anything to do with that but he sure fucked things up around here during his 3 month reign.  And it wasn’t just the inmates but he was spying on the guards as well.  I think there were 6 guards who got transferred out of here after he left …

November 16

Not much going on today … [nurse1] got a new cart to push her pills around in.  She looked pretty pleased with it.  It’s too bad they wouldn’t buy us some books instead of wasting their money on this garbage. … She told me that my mother was calling and asking what kind of medication I’m on.  A couple of weeks ago she was calling to tell them I should see a psychiatrist.  This is getting annoying?  What does she want? …

Jimmy C. got some pills in this morning.  He got right out of it and didn’t share with us.  That too, pissed me off.  I don’t want to see somebody walking around stoned if they’re not going to offer me any … Jason and I are some progress on our package.  Looks like I’m going to take the visit because Jason can’t get a special visit until he gives a clean urine test and he’s dirty … we played some Scrabble today and I stomped ‘em.  I’m unbeatable …

This morning I found some Pokemon cards in the cereal box.  I was amused by that – I didn’t expect something like that in here.  I’m going to mail them to [Pauline].  She’ll like them.  I’m going to have to write letters to all the kids and Zeke too.

November 17

Uh … hmmm .. I’ll be getting a visit from Heidi Saturday.  Should be interesting.  Mark’s friend is going to do some running around for us tomorrow.  Hope all goes well … Jolene says she might be getting an early release.  I wonder what that’s all about … it’s mighty cold outside lately.  I’ve been staying inside … tomorrow’s visiting day.  I suppose my mother will be in.  Must find out why she’s been calling the jail.

November 18

Brendon’s working tonight.  He’s such a fag …  I had two visits, I mean today:  my parents and Anne.  Anne showed up during mum and dad’s visit but they don’t like her.  It was a bit awkward.  Mum and dad are leaving for San Francisco tomorrow for a couple of weeks.  Hope I have good news from my appeal when they get back …

Anne took care of what I wanted.  We’ve got a small package stashed in the visiting room (max) which I hope somebody can get for us tomorrow.  And everything looks to be coming together for Saturday’s visit.  All that left is for me to get the ok.  But that might involve the giant bitch so I’m not sure what will happen.  I’m looking forward to meeting this girl too.  … the new nurse here has apparently been telling Cindy (who told my mother) that I’m on too much medication.  I’ll have to mention that. …

November 19

Well, I’m stoned on Dialudid.  And I love it.  I’ve really missed this buzz.  Fuck sobriety, I want more.  We were able talk  one of the staff into picking up the package for us from the max visitor washroom.  Cool, I’m very impressed ...

… but unfortunately, things just don’t seem to be working out for us on the outside.  We’ve got four people working for us and they can’t all seem to get together.  I was looking forward to my special visit tomorrow but it seems it will have to be delayed.  That is, if I can get it approved.  For that, I have to talk to Bubba tomorrow morning …

Jason and I split 3 D’s and gave one away (I think that was a good public (criminal?) relations move.  I hope he remembers when he gets out … we decided that I just don’t want to move to medium.  Unless, I have to in order to get a Christmas pass or treatment T.A. … I’m content in this unit here and we all get along well.  The days seem to be going by rather quickly (110 left now).  Soon, I’ll be on the front page of the remission sheet, yahoo ….

I had another run-in with [nurse] today.  I said to her, “I hear that the word around Hillsborough Hospital is that I’m taking way too much medication and that I’ll never make it when I get out”.  She just turned her head and started talking to someone else.  What a fucking bitch.  I hope her husband beats her tonight.  And then I said, “that’s a beach of confidentiality isn’t it?”, so she snaps at me, “I don’t work at Hillsborough Hospital”.  What a stupid reply.  I said, “Well aren’t you the head nurse here?”  Then she said, “I don’t want to talk about this right now, go sit in the phone room and wait for me”, but as soon as she finished giving out the pills, she says, “I’m late for a meeting.  I’ll talk to you later”.  That was enough shit for me so I asked to call the Nurses Association to make a complaint.  Of course, they stalled, [Counselor] said I wasn’t allowed to call, but I got Sput to ask [Supervisor], the arsehole, and he allowed me to make the call.  I called and gave them the basic details and I was told that the nurse in charge of discipline will call me on Monday.  I’m hoping that someone will get fired over this and that I cause much grief for that sick old cunt [nurse].

She came back to talk to me this afternoon and went on like she had no idea what I was talking about either.  What this other nurse did didn’t bother her at all – she was only interested in covering her own wrinkly old ass.  Fuck, I hate her so much.  When she was giving out the meds this afternoon, I asked her if she realized that the meds were supposed to be given out right after lunch and not at 2:05.  She said she was busy making phone calls (more lies designed to absolve her of blame, no doubt).  She needs to get it through her stupid ugly old hag head that the inmates well-being comes first.  Hopefully, I can straighten that out with the Association (and she’s fucking around with Jimmy C. meds again trying to have him cut off.  I hope he goes off and beats the hell out of her).  I’m going to ask the Nurses Association if they would send someone out to talk to the inmates …

Jason beat me at Scrabble today.  I was kinda glad to see him win because I almost always win … Sandy didn’t come to see me today.  I’m a little disappointed at that, as I was wanting to get started on the IQ tests.  I’d like to know how smart I really am.  Obviously, I’m much more intelligent than those that are running this place … I’ve decided to give up on getting any help here at learning French.  I’ve only been able to get to the library once in the past [week].  I can’t get any learning done like that.  I’ll just have to work on it with Mark.

Someday my story will get to the general public.  Anyway, tonight I’m going to stay up late and enjoy the buzz.  And I’ll cross my fingers and toes that everything falls into place tomorrow.  There’s always hope, as Santa would say …

November 20

Bubba wouldn’t let me have my visit.  That’s disappointing.  Not just because I won’t get a package but I was looking forward to meeting Heidi.  Oh well.  I think the problem is that the guards don’t want to get involved with me because they’re scared that if they fuck up I’ll expose them.  So Reggie’s requests get turned down.  Be careful with Reggie, already, the news is all through the building that I called the Nurses Association.  Oh how I hate  that fucking bitch … anyway, all of our well laid plans seem to be falling apart.  But it may all work out through the visits tomorrow.  There’s always hope … I felt weird today, I guess because of the D’s yesterday.  I get the feeling that I will have to be extra careful around pills because it would be real easy for me to get addicted again.  Approach with caution.

I slept most of the day and I’m still tired.  I’ll probably wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to get back to sleep … one thing I’ve discovered while being here is that I like Blue Rodeo.  I must pick up some CD’s when I get outta here.  I have much catching up to do … I hope to finish War & Peace tomorrow. There’s only 100 pages left and I’m really tired of it.  Also, I have a few good books just lying around waiting to be read.

November 21

Even the best laid plans sometimes go astray, and so it was today that we didn’t get our dope.  Disappointment and frustration would be two prominent emotions of the day.  I’m just glad it’s over.

November 22

Well, I got a call from the Nurses Association.  They want me to put my complaint in writing.  And maybe they’ll do something.  They also said that they never received the last letter I sent (about 2 months ago) and they didn’t get Frankie’s letter either.  This place is so fucking crooked.  And Sput told me that [Counselor], the giant bitch, chewed him out for letting me call the Nurses Association.

I also called a lawyer today, Paul M., to see if he can do something about the restriction of access to educational materials.  It might cost me some money but it’s worth it if I can make them back down.  But I suppose that will eliminate the possibility of me getting a Christmas pass or a T.A. for treatment.  I won’t let that bother me though … I notice that all the guards seem to be on my side.  I guess everybody hates [nurse1], it’s no wonder. I hope her husband beats the shit out of her tonight, she deserves it.

… Went to church tonight.  They had some guys in to sing some songs and I actually liked one of their songs, “mold me”, too bad it’s a god song, cuz I’ll never hear it again.  I was talking to Jolene after.  I won’t be surprised if she’s in again for breach of probation before I get out.  Oh well, it’s her life.  After that it was a boring evening.  I’m getting tired of the monotony.  I think that I need a change, maybe by going to medium or getting some dope and staying here … hopefully the latter … I wrote letters to Steven, [Valerie] and [Pauline], and Zeke too.

I sent the Pokemon cards and Cadburys coupon.  It only takes a few minutes to write a letter but it means a lot to them.  Wish I were there …

 ... has quit her job and apparently her plan for the future is to get stamps and draw pogey.  ... I guess in Souris that’s normal!

 The girls weren’t allowed to go to church tonight, apparently because they stayed too long last week.  I guess they have to put up with a lot of shit too.

November 23

I didn’t have much luck with the lawyers today.  I spoke to Paul M. and Don M.  They both said it would cost a lot of money to look into it, research the policies, etc.  I guess I’ll have to try a different approach.  Today I wrote letters to Wes MacAleer and John Pickets asking if I could meet with them personally to discuss the ‘policies’ here.  I probably wasted my ink.  …

[Counselor] hasn’t been answering my requests so I filled one out today that said, “I’m a woman in a mans body and I want to be transferred to the female unit” (I got this from a story in the paper about a guy in the pen who got a transfer because he’s getting a sex change). That should get her attention.  I get a kick out of tormenting her because its so easy to pull her strings. She’s so predictable.

 … I got a letter from Jimmy (we all did except for Whip) he says the food is really bad over there.  I also got my complaint forms from the Nurses Union.  I’m waiting till tomorrow to fill it out because I requested to see the doctor and I want to see if she allows me to see him.  If not, we got something else to add to my complaint.  I hate that fucking bitch.  If murder was legal, I’d take my place in line to kill her … I also got a letter from the parole board telling me that it will be 3 or 4 months before they make a decision (by which time I’ll be out anyway).  What good is that?  Another bunch of assholes I have to deal with …

November 25

I was too tired to write last night.  I took five valium.  I didn’t really get a good buzz, I just got tired.  And did I ever get ripped off.  At first he wanted a gram of hash and a bale of tobacco.  I told him to keep them.  Then he said 2 bales and a small piece of hash.  I told him again to keep them, they’re not worth that much to me.  But Jason talked to him and got them for me because, I guess, he thought this was reasonable.  Maybe it would be at Springhill but I thought we were all friends here.  As far as I’m concerned I got ripped off.  And after selling them to me he gave the rest of them away to the guys in his unit.  One of the guys in my unit has been giving him hash all along and he won’t ever share his pills with him or us.  I’m glad he’s getting sentenced tomorrow and we won’t have to see him again. He’s been acting like a four year old all the time, punching the guards in the arse and just being stupid.  I’ll never forget how he scammed me for the valium.

… we all (except Whip) got letters from Jimmy.  He says the food is really bad over there.  I might be able to sue the bitch, and I’d really enjoy that.

November 26

I asked [nurse] for the other nurses name and she refused to give it to me.  She looked at Bubba and said, “lock him in his unit. I have nothing further to say to him.”  So I added that remark to my complaint and I got the name from Bubba.  The next time I see her I’m going to ask for her registration number.  That should piss her off.  I think I’m finally going to get that cunt.  Revenge is sweet.

If the Nurses Association sides with me, I’ll be suing … I also had a talk with [Counselor] about the policies, and why my letters aren’t getting out, and [nurse1]’s attitude.  I don’t know if I got anywhere but I had her on the defensive.

After that I talked to Sandy.  I enjoy meeting with him because he’s an intelligent and reasonable man.  What doesn’t make sense to me doesn’t make sense to him either.  We’re going to do the personality test on Monday and possibly the IQ test on Friday … Jimmy C, went to court today.  He’s not getting sentenced ‘till Monday but he says he’s getting 4 ½ years.  I think he should get another 6 months for ripping me off on the valium.  I’ll be glad to see him gone. … Rob W. came in today on a parole violation.  He says his girlfriend saw him with another girl so she called his parole officer and said he was drinking.  Sounds like a bitch to me.  I hope he tells her to fuck off … tomorrow is Saturday.  The weeks are really going by fast lately.  I’ve only got about 14 left now.  104 days.

November 27

What a long boring day this was.  I’m so glad it’s over.  Candace locked my door.  She’s nice and pretty.  I wonder why someone like her would want to work in a place like this.  But I’m glad we do have some good looking women working here, don’t get me wrong … I’ve got a bit of a problem now that I’d like to sue some drugs, but I’d like to stay clean in case there’s a chance I could get a Christmas pass.  Next week will be December and I will have to investigate the possibility of getting a pass.  I’d love to spend Christmas with the kids.  ...

… I wrote a letter to Santa Claus (the ones they print in the newspaper).  I hope they’ll let the letter go out. … Tomorrow is visiting day and Anne says she’ll come out.  If not I’m going to give up on trying to get her out … Rob says he had some H for me a few months ago.  I’m not sure whether I believe him or not, but he says his brother is coming home again for Christmas and may bring some more.  That sure would be sweet.  So sweet.

November 28

I’m so glad this weekend is over.  It was so long and boring.  I think this was because nobody brought us in any newspapers and because there was nothing on A&E or the Learning Channel all weekend.  Also Anne didn’t show up today.  I think I’ll just have to give up on that idea.  It’s not worth the frustration.  Anyway, I guess I should try to stay clean ‘till Christmas so I can try to get a pass, though it will be no surprise if I don’t get one, especially, now that [Supervisor] the asshole I in charge.  Probably the only way I’ll get a package in is to go out and get it myself … one good thing that happened is that I finally got Whips money to him.  It was no big deal but I don’t like owing money … I think I also got some Quaaludes lined up for when I get out of here.  Sweet …

November 29

I called Brian S. to ask for suggestions on how to get my appeal appeal reviewed faster.  He suggested I get my case worker to call so I talked to [Counselor] about that and I think I shall do it.  I’m also writing a letter and sending the letter from the Detox and a letter from the jail saying what my release date is.  I don’t know if this will help me but it is certainly worth a try.  I also filled out an application for a Christmas T.A.  I think I should get it but one never knows … it looks like Rob may be getting fucked by the parole office.  They think his girlfriend is lying to cover up for him, more details tomorrow …

Jimmy C. got five years today.  He said in court that he owed money to a drug dealer and thought he was going to be killed.  The guys here weren’t happy to hear that … I was at the library working on my French.  I realized that I’m coming along well. I can listen to the tapes and understand what they’re saying without looking at the book, that’s progress …

I called Kevin Lannigan about getting the 240 done.  He’s still not sure if Mark’s going to be working with him so everything is up in the air …

Jolene says that they searched the female unit and found all my letters.  I haven’t heard anything yet but there was some explicit sexual content there.  [Counselor] didn’t mention it though when I was talking to her today.  I finally finished War & Peace.  I’m reading Serpentine [by Thomas Thompson] now.  It’s very good.

November 30

Another month has come to an end.  Time is getting short (he says with a smile).  If I can stay in this unit, I can finish my time easy, I’ve got a good routine and the days are passing easily.  I sleep ‘till noon, get up and shower or wash my hair, go to lunch.  After lunch, I go to the library for an hour, after which, I can go outside for an hour, or sit in the unit and enjoy peace and quiet while everyone else is outside.  Then, I read the paper and do the crosswords.  After that I read The Post (if [Guard 3] brings it in) or take a nap ‘till supper.  After supper, I watch the news and then read for a while or take a nap, an later finish the day with some t.v., usually Investigative Reports.  We all like the same kind of shows on t.v. and Much More music.  There’s no kids in our unit and we’re all here for a long time.  I’d almost give up the Christmas pass if it meant I had to go to medium.  Almost, that is, but I’d like to be home for Christmas …

I was going to give up on Anne but I called today and she said she’d come out Thursday.  I’m hopeful but perhaps gullable.  It’s not that important to me to have drugs.  I can take ‘em or leave em, but I wan’t to get fucked up for the holidays, especially New Years, the millennium.  What a place to be on that night.  Calice! …

I sent out six letters this afternoon, Bubba said, “we all have different ways of passing time”, ha ha.  He’s not a bad guy for CO3.  Anythings an improvement over [Guard1].  I wrote to Algonquin [College] and Sherbroooke for info on their Technical Writing programs.  I already wrote to Sherbrooke but I never got a reply.  I sent in a letter to the parole board asking them to speed things up.  I sent a letter to the World Wildlife Fund asking for info on adopting a polar bear.  I want to do that for Steven or [Pauline].  It would be an unusual but interesting Christmas gift.  I’ve picked out gifts for all the kids.  The guard thought I was nuts when they read about the polar bear.  “I suppose we could keep it out in the bullpen”, Bubba says.

And I also sent my complaints to the Nurses Association – two against [nurse1] and one against [nurse2].  I would have let [nurse2] off but [nurse1] was such a cunt when I asked her about what happened that I just had to go through with it.  I hate [nurse1], I despise her.  Someday, I’ll spit on her grave …

Brendon was working this evening.  I don’t like him, I think he’s a fag.  And the pig was drinking a can of Pepsi in front of us … It said in the paper today that Jimmy C. will have serve the full five years, without parole.  That is a serious sentence.  Charlottetown is probably better off without him though.  I have no sympathy for him since he ripped me off on the valium.  And I was just sick of the way he was acting like a six year old the past few weeks, and always bumming hash from the other guys.

… as of tomorrow, I’ll be down to 99 days.  I’m in the double digits now.  I’ve wasted a long time (400 days to be precise) for that.  It’s all downhill now.  And there’s still a possibility that I can do my last month at the treatment centre.

December 1

There was quite a bit of snow outside, but, I don’t care ‘cuz I’m cozy and warm in here and I don’t have to go outside all winter if I don’t have to.  So there … I saw the doctor today.  I was waiting to go back on Busparone but he thinks they’re addictive so he upped my dosage on the other stuff he’s giving me, whatever you call it.  It’s one of those words I instantly forget …

Rob got out today, he looked happy (well of course) … I was asking John about getting some language stuff from the library but it seems that we are no longer allowed to borrow from there (not since I asked), the bullshit just never stops.  It never ends.  … I wrote a request to [Counselor] in French (asking for the National Post) which I’ll probably get in shit for.  I filled in space for checking off who I want to see with a smiling niggers face and in the ‘other’ box I wrote “yo mama”.  I don’t think she‘s going to like that, but that’s what makes these so fun … my hand is getting cramps from writing.  I hope I haven’t given myself arthritis by cracking my knuckles … [Guard 3] brought in the Moncton Transcript today and left it behind for us to ready, but Sharkey took it home with him.  What a cheap thoughtless bastard.  Why can’t he buy his own paper?  Things like this really piss me off.  Another thing that pisses me off is that the pages in these notepads keep coming out.  In fact, I’m going to write a letter to the company now.

December 2

Pretty good day. We all got along well in the unit.  I hope to keep in touch with Mark and Neil after I get out, providing that they don’t have to go to the pen.  Neil got taken over to New Brunswick this evening.  He has to appear in court there Monday on a possession charge.  It came as a surprise to him.  He just found out today (Thursday) and they told him he’d be leaving Sunday but the sheriff showed up to get him this evening … his lawyer got my letter (CBC, National Post) out for me.  Cool …. Anne didn’t show up again.  I don’t know why I don’t just give up.  So close and yet so far … Mark is helping me out with my French.  He’s a lot more help than Jimmy was.  Jimmy got mad at me whenever I mispronounced something.  It’s hard to learn like that …

Bubba did inspections of our rooms today.  He’s a lot easier to get along with than that fucking prick [Guard1] … Tomorrow is Jolene’s birthday so I’m going to send her a box of chocolates (Smarties).

I was not aware that a community assessment for Moncton had been done.  I was only informed about this assessment when speaking to Brian Smith on October 27, 1999.  I received a copy on October 29, 1999, long after my hearing on September 8.

December 3 (he wrote, Jan. 3, stroked it out, and put “I wish”)

Well, a bit of bad news today.  James ripped us off for the (18) Demerol.  Asshole.  Bastard.  Prick.  It seems like every time, every fucking time, we get something lined up it gets fucked up.

…  I suppose that a good thing that happened today was that I saw a syringe and some coke, and was offered a hit, but I found it easy to resist.  I also had 2 V’s [valium] and I gave them away.  I think I can handle things when I get out.

… This is Jolene’s birthday.  I tried to send her a box of chocolates (well, Smarties) but they wouldn’t let me.

    … I started my tests with Sandy.  I guess we’re going to finish them next week.  I’ve also asked him, (as a sort of go-between), to talk to [Counselor] about getting us a subscription to The National Post (Bubba wouldn’t let her see my request).  I figure that if I approach her myself she’ll say no as soon as I open my mouth.  She’s such a cunt …

They got some books at the library but it’s just a pile of garbage.  I guess people think that when they want to get rid of books they can either take them to the dump or donate them to the jail.  This load should have went to the dump.  Calise!

December 4

I saw something incredibly stupid today.  Just five minutes before we were to go outside, Jimmy A. (for some reason I just don’t like this guy, just the way he looks and carries himself) tossed a valium (from the left unit) through the hatch to Jason.  Jason missed the catch and the valium hit the floor.  Brendon [the guard] found it.  No doubt we’ll be getting a search soon.  I’m just amazed that anybody can be that dumb.  Calise! …

I think Mark is getting a special visit today I mean tomorrow, so all our worries will be solved.  Although (no surprise here) I haven’t been able to connect with Anne.  I’m thinking that maybe Neville could help me out on this, although I haven’t asked him yet.  It should be easy for him and Rob to hook up since he works in Borden and Rob lives there …

I’m still having trouble sleeping even though my medication has been increased.  I’m going to ask the doctor about getting some sort of barbiturate or sedative hypnotic.  I’m very doubtful that he’ll give it to me but perhaps he’ll counter-offer with something better than I’m getting now.  It’s worth a try.

December 5

I didn’t think this day, this weekend would ever end.  So boring, so very boring.  I think, partly due to the fact that none of the guards brought in newspapers for us to read.  It’s only 75 cents, what’s the big deal?  Cheap bastards …

Jason is on his way to Summerside tomorrow morning.  Hope he brings back some good “news”, Neil might be back tomorrow too.  I’m hoping that I’ll get to do the IQ test tomorrow.  I’m also anxious to know whether or not I’ll get a Christmas pass.  I’d like to be home with the kids for a few days, and I could really use a break from this place.  I’ve finished 81% of my time.  95 days, 285 more meals to go.

December 6

I should have been out today, but for the parole fuck-up.  Instead, I have another 94 days … Jason left for Summerside today.  Neil came back from Fredericton … Things seemed to go well today.

Donairs for dinner – one of my favorite meals.  I got to the library to study French for an hour.  Afterwards, I went outside for an hour (it was nice out).  Then I rolled some cigarettes and read the Sunday Herald.  I kept myself busy all afternoon.  After supper, I called Ian and Anne and I think things are gonna work out alright.  Tonight we had the Christmas Social which I enjoyed.  I drank some pop (Pepsi) and ate lots of candy and ice crea.  Jolene gave me a bracelet … I spoke to the President of the Church Council and asked her if she could help us get a subscription to the National Post.  She seemed supportive.  But near the end of the evening [Counselor] overheard me talking to Woody’s mom about getting the paper and she flipped out at me.  I think I ruined her evening.  I wrote a letter to [Supervisor] complaining about her behavior, so, hopefully, I will ruin her day tomorrow as well.  I enjoy playing these games with her.  And we had a good laugh about it afterward.  I hope this kind of stuff won’t prevent me from getting a Christmas pass, but I just can’t help myself.  It was priceless to see her lose her temper with everybody around.  I hope she feels stupid for it.  I wonder if I’ll ever hear from [Supervisor].  But at least I can hope to get her pissed off when she reads my letter.

December 7

One day closer to being out.  I find that the time is going quickly now.  The only thing that I’m a bit anxious about is whether or not I’ll get a Christmas pass.  I should be allowed to have one but considering my relationship with [Counselor] and [Supervisor] … well, I don’t know. If I get one, I’ll have to stay straight for Christmas.  If not, I’m gonna be high every day. … but it would means so much to the kids if I came home for Christmas.  I hope they’ll consider that … I wrote a letter to The Graphic which we hope to get out tomorrow.  They’ll probably run a story since they’re so desparate for news.  That’s something to look forward to.

December 8

Another day has come and gone.  Not much has changed.  I had an awful craving for Valium today but I put if off by saying to myself, “just for today, I won’t do it”.  I don’t have a lot of hope that I’ll have a Christmas pass but if I could get one I’d hate to lose it on a dirty piss test.  Anyway, the word around here is that very few Christmas passes will be given out.  Today, they had a max staff meeting at [Guard 3]’s house – wish I had that bugged …

Ian still hasn’t done what I asked him to do, apparently.  What’s the fucking problem today?  I’m so sick of this bullshit.  I hope Lorrie gets out tomorrow and fixes this problem for us.  There’s always some minor miracle to look forward to.

December 9

I got turned down for my Christmas T.A.  I’m disappointed but not surprised.  They say it’s because I breached my parole, but if it wasn’t that, it would be something else; I’m getting fucked around.  So, since I don’t have to worry about a piss test anymore, I took my three valium today.  It was nice for a change.  I think I’d do them every day till I got out of here if I had them.  There should be some more around this weekend though …

I had my medication changed by the doctor.  I keep waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep.  It’s frustrating because I can’t turn the light on and read.  I just have to lie there and wait till I fall asleep again.  I’m getting a bad feeling that [nurse] might try and fuck around with my daytime medication too.  [nurse] called Mark out of the unit and asked why his name was being used in some complaints (I listed him as a witness on my complaint).  I think she was trying to intimidate him into not getting involved.  She would say what was going on, but I’d say her disciplinary hearing might be coming up.  I’m so looking forward to that.

Lorrie’s lawyer didn’t show up today, so I’m so far unable to get my letter to The Graphic out.  His court date was put off till next Wednesday. …

I wrote a letter to Lawrence MacAuley today asking him if he could ask the parole board to speed up my appeal.  I hope dad can call him about this too … I took Anne off my visiting list and put Ians on.  I’m expecting him to show up on Sunday. …

My mother was here for a visit today.  She’s disappointed about the pass and Steven will be too.  It’s hard to believe the administration here is so heartless.  Bastards!  Oh well, 3 months / 13 weeks and it’s all over.  Then I’ll be able to fight the system on my terms.

 

December 10

Sput just looked me in and he was amazed at how messy my room was.  He said he hasn’t seem anything like it in years, ha ha ha.  Sputs cool … Jason came back from Summerside without any pills (or so he said).  I was counting on him. Fucked again.

Mark keeps putting off his visit (it’s Monday now) so I’m trying to forget about it.  Too many times I’ve waited and been let down.  Anne won’t answer my calls so that’s another dead end.  I had a real craving for something today.  Its been a long boring day.  I was hoping to finish my tests with Sandy today but he never came.  I didn’t feel like going to the library either.  I’m getting fed up with all the obstacles they’ve put up to me learning French.  I fell like telling [Counselor] to stick it up her big fat ass … I was really looking forward to getting high this weekend, especially since I found out I won’t be getting a Christmas pass (heartless bastards) … I got a new sleeping pill tonight (dalmane?) but the nurse took away all my Aterax.

I don’t think the doctor meant for them to do that but that’s the way it’ll be till I see him again on Wednesday.

Tomorrow, I’ll have 89 days left.  And I’ve got a feeling that this is going to be a long one.  Maybe I’m getting depressed but it all seems monotonous now; same thing day after day, after day.

December 11

Playin’ with the needle and the spoon.  I got hold of a fit[?] and I cranked my sleeping pill (delmane).  If feel pretty relaxed now.  Its been such a long time.  Now if only I could find some narcotics.  But no matter how hard I try it just never seems to come together (Jason was really guarding the fits.  I guess he figured I was hiding something from him).

Other than that, it was a slow day.  I called Rob and nothing is happening.  Ian can’t get hold of Anne.  Anne called here but as soon as I got to the phone it was dead and I couldn’t get any answer at her house afterwards.  Frustrating, big time, as Mark and Laurie would say.  The holidays are coming soon.  Things gotta change by then.  If I can’t get out, I may as well get out of it.

December 12

I’ve never wanted a weekend to end so badly as I did today.  Ian came out with nothing, can’t find Anne.  I’m really getting pissed off at her.  She’s so fucking unreliable.  I’m getting a lot of cravings lately.  Everybody around me is smoking hash all day and I’ve got nothing.  And every time I get closer to something it fucks up.  I’m just getting so discouraged and frustrated it seems that nobody on the outside is really your friend when you’re in jail.  All I can think about lately is getting some pills but I just can’t get it together.  Certainly not for lack of effort.

December 13

I’m getting intense cravings lately.  I think its because the other guys get   past month.  I’m hitting my sleeping pill at night, I’m so desperate.  There’s a possibility things might turn around tomorrow, I really hope so. And if I get hold of Anne I’m going to give her a blast and get her out here, and there’s another possibility through Dennis …

I was told that [Counselor] wanted to see me today.  I suppose she wants to take away some of my good time for writing letters to Jolene.  [nurse is] such a cunt.  She gave Jolene back her good time so she’ll be out on Christmas eve, but she expects to come back in January ‘cause she has to to Lacy House and she doesn’t want to.  I can’t blame her for that.  I’d rather be here myself than in Talbot House …

Neils going for bail tomorrow and Mark’s getting a visit from Debra L.  Hope all goes well for both of them. …

I finished my personality test today.  I’ll be starting on the IQ test on Friday.  I put in a request for [Counselor] suggesting that she get a psychological evaluation but Bubba wouldn’t let her see it.  I’m looking forward to arguing with her tomorrow and getting her pissed off.  It’s so easy.  

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December 14

A day of mixed blessings, I suppose.  This morning Bubba told me that I was being charged for the letters I wrote to Jolene.  So I’ve lost my phone calls for a week and I’ve two days good time suspended.  The rotten bastards.  They treat us like children.  I said in one of my letters that [Supervisor] is such an asshole that even his dog hates him.  I guess he didn’t appreciate that, the fucking prick …

I went to get some Tylenol from [nurse] and she was rude to me again, she says, “you wait in the unit ‘till I’m done giving out medication and then I’ll see you”.  And she insisted that I have to put my last name on my requests now, even though I’m the only Reg here and I’ve sent in a hundred other requests using only my first name, but the story is that she’s very sour because the Nurses Association investigation is in full swing, they were at her house yesterday.  We’re finally going to get that cunt straightened out and hopefully fired!  Later, I spoke to a constitutional lawyer, Alan S., about how I can get books or newspapers in.  He gave me advice on how to file an application to the Supreme Court (which will probably appear in the newspaper) and he seemed to think I have a good argument.  I may also be able to seek compensation.  I will have to call him back about that tomorrow.  And I told him about my complaint about the nurses, and he said that he may be interested in filing a lawsuit on a contingency fee it looks like I have grounds for a lawsuit.  Yabba-dabba-do.  I also got a letter from the parole board confirming their original decision, so I guess I’m in here till March …

I noticed that Bubba was being a prick to me today; wanting me to clean up my room, wanting to know what I was calling a lawyer about, not wanting to let me call the lawyers referral service.  I thought Bubba was ok but if he is going to back up those arseholes, then fuck him too.  I’m having a feeling my remaining time may not  be easy but I hope that its rewarding …

Neil went to court today but he has to wait till Monday for his decision.  Lorrie goes up tomorrow but it doesn’t look good for him.  Mark still never got his visit.  I don’t know what the fuck is going on there.  And I’m tired of asking.  That’s not much I can do on my end with no access to the phone either.  I think it was heartless to take away my phone calls in the week leading up to Christmas, but it’s a heartless bunch of bastards we’ve got working here … tomorrow The Graphic comes out and I really hope to see a story about this place, and get the ball rolling.  The shits going to come at them from all directions in my last 85 days here.  Revenge is sweet.

December 15

Another minor squabble with [nurse] this morning.  I went out to get some aspirin and she says, “you’re not on my list for medications – go back to your unit and wait till I’m finished with the others”.  What the fuck is that?  Apparently, she wants us to come out one at a time now so that there won’t be any witnesses around when she says something to me.  When I got my pills this afternoon I said, “there’s no witnesses around now eh [nurse]?”  Later her and Bubba called me into the office and told me I’m no longer allowed to make comments to the nurse.  Fuck her and fuck Bubba too.  He’s been a prick to me since this investigation came about.  I shouldn’t have to feel repercussions because I made a legitimate complaint.  Sput told me I was “on thin ice now”.  I’m sure the guards hate [nurse] as much as I do.  I hope I’ve ruined her Christmas …

I got my letter to the Supreme Court out today via the lawyer, Ken G., seems like a nice guy, helpful.  I’d love to see that hit the paper …

I had a very successful appointment with the doctor.  He’s going to put me on Serax.  That’s gonna make my time easier.  I told him I was very stressed out about not seeing my kids for Christmas and about how I’m being treated by staff because of my complaint.  I just hope he gives me the 30’s instead of the 15’s …

Whip went up for bail today and got turned down.  Things are not looking good for him now.  I feel sorry for him because he’ll be here for maybe a year and if convicted they’re asking for 7 and he has a wife and two children.  Things are going to be hard for them …

I wrote “Bubba the hunter” on the door this morning and he wasn’t pleased when he saw that.  There’s a story going around the building that he was caught sitting on a tree stump jerking off while on a hunting trip in Nova Scotia. Ha ha ha  sick bastard …

Marc didn’t get his visit.  I’m starting to think that he’s full of shit.  I guess we’ll find out tomorrow when visiting day comes.

As of today, I’ve got 17% of my time left (85 days). I think that once the holidays are over it’ll be a breeze.  As long as the staff don’t fuck me around too much.  They’re not going to be pleased if any of this stuff hits the newspapers.

December 16

Mum and dad were here today.  They want me to drop my complaint against [nurse2] because she’s giving Cindy a hard time.  I’m unsure of what to do.  I have a very solid case and I could sue for this.  And [nurse2] shouldn’t be pressuring Cindy.  At this point, I’m more inclined to let it stand than drop it.  I owe favors to no one at this place …  Also, they still haven’t gotten my newspaper subscription.  I’m really getting pissed at that.  I’ve asked her about ten times now.

I didn’t get Serax yet.  They say they’ll be here tomorrow now.  I really do need them cause I’m stressed out over the complaints and the Christmas season itself.  I would love to be home.  I don’t think I’ve ever really taken interest in the kids at Christmas before. And, I was so looking forward to it … Laurie offered me a laptop for $500.  He says he paid $3000 for it about 3 years ago and hardly ever used it.  I’m interested … Mark had a successful visit today but the benefits haven’t filtered through to our unit yet, but I think we’re going to have a very merry Christmas, only eight days away now.

December 17

Friday, the weekends upon us again.  Today went well.  I had a meeting with [Counselor] and complained about how the staff is treating me since the complaint came about.  She didn’t care. I also asked her about taking a correspondence course and she’s ok with that, I was going to ask her about the National Post but I decided just to let the Supreme Court handle it.  I also complained about [nurse] always making sure that I’m the last one to get pills.  Today she didn’t even want to see me.  She got Sput to bring the pills into the unit for me.  Actually, I kinda like table service …

I met with Sandy for a while and had a good conversation, but we still haven’t started the IQ tests …

We got a small package in – Xanax.  They just make me sleepy though.  Maybe if I had more … Whip and Neil aren’t very happy (and Whip isn’t very happy with Neil).  Neil was pretty loose on the phone and it looks like they’re going down for 5-7.

I’m getting along good with Mark and if he gets out he may be able to do me some favors.  It’ll be good to know someone in Montreal if I end up moving there next year. … I started getting my Serax today but they’re only 15’s.  I’ll have to try and get that fixed up next week.  I’ve only got 83 days left so if we can get some goodies in, it’ll be over before I know it.

December 18

One week away from Christmas now, but it’s no big deal in here.  It was a boring day, ho-hum.  Mark got a visit but he’s too scared to sue, what’s the big deal?  So we didn’t get anything.

I saved up my Serax and took my last Xanax but they just made me tired.  It’s certainly not my drug of choice.  Tomorrow’s Sunday so I’ll get them to call Ann and ask her if she’ll come visit.  I’m pretty sure she won’t but I’d really like a visit.  I hardly ever get visits. I guess I don’t have many close friends.  Oh well.  I’ll get along fine when I’m outta here …

I talked to [nurse2], the nurse, today and suggested I might drop the complaint but I’d like to hear Cindy’s side of the story first, it’s [nurse] I’m after anyway.  If she wants to treat me like a dog, I’ll make things miserable for her and I don’t have to lie about anything.

December 19

I’m so glad this weekend is over.  I’ve been craving all weekend.  I have no phone calls so I can’t do anything about it and I’m losing faith in the other guys to get anything done.  They have smoke so they’re happy …

I guess Jolenes not allowed to go to church tomorrow because of me! … I’m trying to get Jodi to get her cousin to visit me, she looks good. … Anne changed her phone number to an unlisted one so fuck her I guess.  What a fucking bitch.  I can’t get anybody to get anything done or visit me.  At least I only have eighty days left.  I’m getting so sick of watching these guys get high all the time that I almost want to move to another unit but there’s really no where else to go.

December 20

I’m glad it’s Monday.  Mondays always seem to go by quickly, probably because Sunday is such a boring day.  Sharkey got after me to clean up my room today.  I must admit, it was quite a mess. We filled the big garbage can full of clothes, sheets, and blankets …

The Nurses Association called me this morning to let me know that the investigation is underway.  I’m still not comfortable about dropping that complaint against [nurse2].  I owe her no favors and she shouldn’t be harassing Cindy anyway …

I was at church tonight.  Jolene was looking really good, but she didn’t really want to talk to me after.  I guess she’s got something going with Zack, that guy is a little rat.  I asked him if Jason got D’s in Summerside and he went right to Jason and told him I asked.  I’ll put him in his right place the next time I see her … I hope that Jolene will keep in touch.  I don’t want to be her boyfriend but I would like to see her when I get out.  But she says she’ll be back in soon because she has to go to Lacy House and she doesn’t want to.  It’s sort of a weird thing to say but I’d like to see her come back to jail!  I’m also trying to get Jodi to get her cousin to come visit me.  She’s pretty cute but she’s only 19 and I fear I may be too old.  Sometimes I wish I were younger.  I should have had more women in my life.  Women find me adorable …

I wrote a letter to Anne this morning and politely told her to fuck off.  I’m pissed off that she won’t do me a favor and now she’s changed her phone number …

Jason and I got into an argument after church about what Zack said.  I’m getting a little pissed off because he owes me $50 and he spends every cent he gets on drugs and when he gets them, he doesn’t share them with me.  But if I get a few pills, he’s my best friend.  Whip owed me the fifty and Jason owed him money so he transferred the debt.  I loaned J 50 to buy H and I got that back but I didn’t get anything myself and now I’m stuck waiting for J to pay, fuck! I should have had enough money coming to me that I wouldn’t have had to use my canteen fund for a month but tomorrow I’m gonna have to buy more tobacco. Oh well, only 80 days to go and I’ll be smoking duMaurier again while I’m sipping on a beer!

December 21

I got a letter from home today; some bad news, Max died.  He drank antifreeze.  Zeke got into it too but he’s ok.  I’m pretty sad about this.  I really liked Max. Pets become part of the family and losing one is hard.  Poor Max.  I’ll miss him.

… Everybody is coming in for the visit on Christmas, Saturday … Anne called me today from Toronto.  It was nice to hear from her.  I always like talking to her.  She’s going to send me a job application she found in the paper and, I hope, a Christmas card.  She’s always so cheery when I talk to her …  I saw the doctor today.  He won’t increase my medication but he gave me some Atarax to go along with it so that’s ok …

I sent Christmas cards to Steven and [Valerie]. It’s so cruel that they won’t let me go home to see them, even for a few hours.  Fucking assholes.  I also sent a letter to Jolene just to say goodbye.  I hope she’ll write to me.  Still no progress on getting any pills in.  I hope we can cause that would make my Christmas merry.  I was talking to Anne about using drugs or alcohol occasionally and she has the same views as me (fuck AA). …

December 22

I’ll be sleeping good tonight – 3 V’s and 3 resorals[?].  I almost got caught too hiding my medication under my tongue.  [Guard1] the prick told Chris to check my mouth.  I was talking to Ian today and nothing happened but there’s still hope.  I think things are gonna work out alright.  I also talked to Rob and he didn’t get anything done except some Ritalin but that’s not worth sending someone to Borden for.  I wish he had gotten hold of Frankie like I asked him to.

Only two days to go till Christmas.  I’m looking forward to seeing the kids.  Chelsea sent me a card today.  That was nice.  I haven’t seen her in over a year now.  No doubt, I’ve missed a lot.

December 23

[Guard1] continues to fuck me around.  Bubba called me down to admitting and cut my bracelet off.  Apparently, [Guard1] saw it and whined to [Counselor], who gave the orders to Bubba.  So fucking childish.  At least, afterwards, Bubba gave him a blast about who’s in charge of this unit.  [Guard1] is such a fucking goof and he’s making a fool of himself to all the staff, but I’ll have the last laugh, ha ha …

We might be getting some pills tomorrow but just Valium-type stuff.  Kinda disappointing but better than nothing.  My biggest worry now is getting some newspapers brought in by the guards cause there won’t be any papers this weekend

… there was an article in todays paper with [Counselor] saying that they try to do as much as they can for the inmates at Christmas.  What a bunch of bullshit, the lying cunt.  She doesn’t give a fuck about any of us.  So I’ve written a letter to the editor in response which I hope I can get out and get published

• 
• 
•  

December 24, 11:30 pm

It’s almost Christmas and here I sit in jail again.  No letter from Santa today.  Jason got a card from John Collins but he didn’t send me one.  Bubba gave out cigars to everyone except me.  And there was no package for us this morning.  Jolene got out too and didn’t leave a letter for me like I hoped she would.  Maybe she doesn’t like me anymore.

I was talking to [Janine].  She’s not coming in tomorrow.  Actually, I was surprised when I heard she was.  The kids opened their presents and they liked them.  I told [Janine] to ask mum to bring me some cigarettes and newspapers since it says in the paper that we can exchange gifts.  I don’t expect to get them though …  We had church again tonight so I was able to talk to my friend and get [Counselor] to look for the package.  Also, Ian said he was going to see Anne this evening.  I wouldn’t be surprised if that falls apart, but I’m a hoping.

... I’m looking forward to seeing the family tomorrow.

December 25

Another fucking Christmas in jail, and this must be the worst day I’ve ever had in here.  I had a good visit with the kids but an hour isn’t long enough.  After that I just wanted to get a [?].  There were four different people who were supposed to get pills in.  Every one of them fucked up.  Of course, they got some hash in but I don’t smoke hash and they don’t give a fuck about anyone but themselves.  I’d do a favor for anyone but they won’t just get a few pills in for me.  I thought I had made some good friends here but when it comes to drugs it’s every man for himself.  I’ve been trying to work with my connections since August and I still haven’t gotten anything in.

Today I’m just extremely disappointed and frustrated.  And I can see another fuck-up coming tomorrow.  This shit never ends.  And I gotta put in another 75 fuckin days to get out of this place.

December 26

Another shitty never-ending day.  I found out that Jason did get some V’s [valium] yesterday and kept them all for himself.  What a fucking piece of shit.  A few weeks ago he came back with some D’s from Summerside and did them all himself too.  He’s no fucking good.  I hope he gets sent back to medium soon.  We don’t need guys like that here. … Also our visitor didn’t show up tonight so there’s nothing going on tomorrow.  I knew that would happen. I only hope next weekend is not as bad as this one.  And I’m glad that tomorrow is Monday ‘cause Mondays always seem to go by well.

Last night Mikie brought me in a National Post and gave it to me at lock-up but they guy who was working overnight (Dave) asked to borrow it.  I said OK but give back when you’re done.  When I got up this morning it was gone.  I was really pissed off about that.  What a fucking bastard.  That paper was the only thing that I had to look forward to today.  But luckily [Guard 3] came in with the Sunday Herald to ease my stress a bit.  Well, I hope next weekend is better cause I just can’t cope with another weekend in here.  So what if it was Christmas, it makes no difference in here.

December 27

Today, as it turned out was a holiday.  I wasn’t expecting this, but Boxing Day fell on a Sunday, so Monday was the holiday. I’m sick of the holidays – who needs a day off when you are in jail?  … Mark and I both talked to Anne today and she promises (we’ve had that before) to come out on Thursday.  I desperately hope that comes to pass. … Mark is still delaying his package so I don’t know when we’ll see that.  This has been going on for a month now …

I confirmed that Jason did get some V’s [valium] on Saturday and didn’t share any, what a greedy bastard.  I’ll be glad when he goes back to medium.  Church was boring tonight.  I’d stop going for a while but I’ve got nothing else to do.

December 28

I’ve got fourteen months in today, and 72 days to go.  Another monotonous day, it was.  Marks friend didn’t come to visit so its all or nothing on Friday.  And I won’t be surprised if it fucks up …

[Guard 3] brought in a couple of newspapers. That, I suppose, was the highlight of my day.  I’m trying not to nap too much but it’s just so fucking boring here.  I really appreciate it when one of the guards brings in a paper. Little Mikie had the Halifax paper but he hasn’t let go of it all day.  I don’t know if I’ll get it tomorrow or not, must be a slow learner, that guy …

Mark and I expect to get out around the same time so I might be able to hook up with him in Montreal.  We were talking about that this evening.  We both think that Whips not going to get out.  Sorry but … it looks to me like he’s fucked.  Jason, I can’t wait till he goes to medium.  Won’t share his dope, fuck him.  I’ve got no use for him anymore … We’ve only got three days left of this year, this century, I regret missing that party.

December 29

More bullshit today.  This morning Sharkey and Bubba were after me to clean out my room.  I have a  bunch of college calendars so I could choose a correspondence course but they said I have to choose by Friday (31) and then put all my calendars in my personals.  I don’t think this is right, so I asked to meet with [Counselor] (she refused) and then Bubba.  It looks like the root cause is just [Guard1] being a prick, as usual.  So I’ve got my room cleaned up and I wait to see what they can find to bother me about next.  I’m getting really fed up and stressed out about this bullshit.  I expect now that they’ll want to move me to medium ‘cause they know I like it here.  They’ll go to any length to fuck me around.  And I imagine it’ll get worse before it gets better.  I wish I was down to my last 3 weeks cause then it really wouldn’t matter where they put me, but getting fucked around for another 71 days doesn’t appeal to me …

I went to the gym tonight for the first time since March.  I played (and lost) 3 games of snooker with Neil. … I’m sort of expecting to get my room searched any day now, fucking bastards. They’re looking for any excuse to put me in the hole … tomorrow, I’m hoping to get a visit from Anne, which I hope will cheer me up.  Somethings got to change around here, it’s just getting too monotonous.

December 30

I’m really fed up and pissed off. Anne stood me up again.  I’ll have nothing more to do with that fucking bitch.  She ruined Christmas and New Years for me.  And Ian didn’t do much better.  I’m so tired of being let down. I just can’t take it any more.  I’ll be so glad to get out of this fucking place. …

We might have some V’s [valium] tomorrow, but that’s not what I wanted. Fuck, fuck, fuck.  69 more days in this fucking place and if I’m not getting fucked around inside I’m getting it outside too.  I may as well stop writing.  I have no pleasant thoughts this evening.

December 31, 1999

I stayed up (by myself) to watch the New Year’s celebrations on t.v.  But it’s no big deal for me.  I’m still in jail.  I was hoping we might have had a good time but something fucked up with our pill delivery (I think Jason ripped us off).  We only got 8 Xanax instead of 80 and they went through Jasons hands first.  This situation completely ruined Christmas and New Years for me.  It was a very disappointing week.  I’m glad it’s behind us now. Now I can just focus on getting a T.A. for the Detox and/or just getting the fuck out of here …

Moe came in today.  Good to see him again.  He’s not in our unit, but it’s good to have him around just the same.  Too bad we couldn’t trade Jason for him.  I wish that prick would go to medium or just get the fuck out of our unit.  I don’t want anything to do with this greedy bastard anymore.  Well, 69 days left.  I hope January passes quickly.

 

January 1, 2000

Well the first day of the new millennium has passed.  Slowly, but its gone by and I’m one day closer to getting out.  Dave C. brought in some newspapers for me and I was pleased for that.  But I just don’t have enough to do to fill the 24 hours.

I take one or two naps and then I can’t sleep till 3 or 4 in the morning but what’s a guy to do.

Spoke to Jellybelly today.  No action there.  It’s all up to Anne now, which doesn’t mean much.  If it can’t be worked out by tomorrow, I may as well just give up and focus on getting into the Detox program in February, that’s not too far away now.  Only 40 days, or 68 if that doesn’t work out.

January 2

Sunday.  Tomorrow’s a holiday and then all is back to normal.  I had some papers to read so it wasn’t a bad day, except for my visit.  Mum and dad came in whining that they didn’t (and won’t) take my letter to the newspaper and about the complaint I have against the nurse.  I refuse to drop it and I told them not to come back.  Dad even accused me of being on drugs. [he was right!]  I don’t think I’ll ever have a good relationship with my parents.  Just wait till I tell them I’m going to sell drugs again.  I haven’t decided yet but I might even take their names off my visiting list.  I just don’t look forward to getting visits from them.  They’re always so critical of me.  I get enough shit from the administration here.  I just don’t need any more from them.  Life’s too short for that, as dad would say.

… Mark found out from Debra L. that Jason did indeed rip him off last week.  What a fucking bastard.  There were 20 pills and he gave Mark about 8, all crushed up (so he couldn’t count them).  The good news is that something came in for me.  I hope to have it tomorrow.  It’s small but it’ll make me happy.  I think tomorrows gonna be a good day …

January 3

66 days left.  I can feel my freedom getting closer.  Today I slept till about three o’clock which made the day go by well.  I may have to try that more often … my package didn’t arrive yet but I can wait another day or two, its been so long now.  And, I believe there’s more in the works.  This might be a good month as long as [Counselor] leaves me alone …

Church, I found especially boring tonight, I guess because there wasn’t many there.  I was speaking with Dennis (he’s looking for work) but Mike wasn’t there.  I wanted to tell him not to give anything to Jason ‘cause we don’t trust the bastard …

breakfast was optional this morning but they didn’t tell us that until they got us all out of bed!  Infidels!  I’m trying to start a diet cause I’m just way too fat and I want to be able to fit into my jeans when I get out of here.  If we didn’t have to go to all the meals, it would be a lot easier.

January 4

Yeah!  The long awaited D’s [Dilaudid] finally arrived!  Only two of them but I felt so good.  So good.  How I’ve missed that feeling.  To be king of the world again.  I was supposed to get 5 P’s [percocet - Oxycontin] as well but I don’t know what happened to them.  But I was elated just to get the D’s.  And Ian tells me he may have some good news for Thursday.

Jason and I got in an argument.  I didn’t let on to him that I had anything but Whip kept dropping hints.  I was getting even with Jason for not sharing his pills with us.  But I went and talked to him and smoothed things over, because I’m basically a nice guy.  He apologized for what he did and I told him it’s all forgotten.  I wish we had enough that everybody could get some and we could all enjoy ourselves.  It’s a good unit we have here and it’s good to see everyone getting along good.  If I could feel this good everyday it would be a breeze to do time here.  Oh, how I wish …

Jr., the screwdriver killer got life 15 today, so I’m definitely the grandfather now.  I guess he’s pretty fucked up anyway but what a waste of his life, he’s only 21 and he can’t handle doing time here, so I don’t think he’s gonna make it in the pen.  Moe is getting sentenced tomorrow too, so he’ll probably be going along too.  I was hoping to meet up with Moe on the street sometime, not in here again.  I’m down to 68 days now and if things get done for us on the street, I’ll be out before I know it.  I know that today was one of the best days I’ve had in here – hope there’s more to come like it …

I’ve been trying to get in touch with Paul M. [Summerside Detox] to see if he can pull some strings to get me into the program in February.  If that can be arranged, I’ll only have 33 days until it starts, that would be cool …

I’m going to have to ask Mark about helping me with the French, maybe an hour a day  … I broke out the last pack of duMaurier.  This was the occasion I was waiting for … I hope they don’t try and move me down to medium (although I would like to go to … [not legible, clearly written under the influence of the Dilaudid he mentioned earlier])  Really though, I’m quite comfortable where I am …

I’ve heard that the set of twins [?] I got for [Pauline] for Christmas might have a flaw in it that would increase its value by 300.  Hope that’s true.

January 5

Finished off my d’s [Dilaudid] today – 2 hits.  I love that stuff.  It makes me feel so relaxed and peaceful.  If only I had a steady supply.  Hope to get some news on that tomorrow.  The p’s [Percocet - Oxycontin] just weren’t there to be found.  I don’t know what happened there.  Maybe we’ll find that out tomorrow too …

I got new French stuff from John but it looks pretty complicated.  I’m going to have to get Mark to help me out …

Moe got 2 years today.  It still amazes me how quick these things can happen.  A week ago, he woke up in jail and didn’t know why he was there and today he’s on his way to Springhill.  Moe’s a fairly smart guy; too bad he couldn’t get his life together.

Layton M. came in today – 22 months.  I would say that much time was unnecessary.  Just knowing that you were responsible for your best friends death is severe enough punishment …

I went to the gym and  played 3 games of snooker with Mark.  Lost all three, although, I put up a bit of a fight on the last one. … tomorrow’s visiting day.  I hope someone is good to us.  We could sure use it.  I’ve only got 9 weeks left now and it’s going quickly.  Can’t wait to get out and get back to business and order a pizza too.  That would be nice.

January 6

Another dull day.  It was so cold in the unit that I stayed in my room most of the day (it’s warmer upstairs).  Jean called this morning about going over the separation agreement.  I’m going to set up an appointment for next week … I got some new French stuff.  It looks to be a lot more difficult.

… Ian and Debra L. didn’t meet up.  I wish they could just get this done and get it over with.  It shouldn’t be this difficult.  Anne is being such a bitch.  Well, nine weeks left.  Maybe less (sort of) if Paul M. [Summerside Detox] can pull some strings for me.

January 7

Paul M. [Summerside Detox] was here this morning.  All he can do is tell them I’m accepted for the February program and that there is no program in March.  Then it’s up to [Counselor] and [Supervisor] so I doubt that I’ll be going anywhere. Bastards!  Infidels!

The staff caught on to the bathroom drop off so its gonna be dry around here.  I think if Jason hadn’t known about it then it wouldn’t have gotten fucked up.  He’s a heatbag.  Now that there’s nothing here maybe he’ll go to medium and we can figure something else out.

I’ve only got 2 months left anyway and I can handle that without drugs but it would have made the time go faster.  I did hear today that my friend got my package so I can wait till I get out if necessary.  A script of serax would be nice though ‘cause they wouldn’t affect my piss tests …

Neil got taken over to Moncton for another court appearance on Monday.  It’s gonna be a long weekend for him.  I think it’s gonna be a long here too cause today felt like a Saturday.  Please let these next two months go by quickly.

January 8

A very boring day.  It’s too cold in here to stay downstairs and watch t.v.  too cold to sit down there for anything so I just slept all day. … I couldn’t get Ian on the visiting list for tomorrow, cause [Guard1] was the CO3.  Asshole!  I kinda wish I had someone to come and visit me, just something to look forward to …

January 9

I slept till 4 o’clock and then I read the four newspapers I have saved up for today.  I couldn’t get Ian on the visiting list cause [Guard1] was working again but the weather wasn’t good anyway, so maybe next week.  It was a very uneventful day and I’m glad the weekend is over.  I now have 59 days left.

January 10

I got a letter from the Supreme Court today.  They say my application is unacceptable because I didn’t follow the proper procedures outlined in “Rules of Court”, so I called Ken G. and he suggested (he’s been very helpful) that I could buy a copy of Rules of Court at 115.00 (nope) or ask the jail to take me to the Law Library.  So I asked [Counselor] about that (actually Dave D. asked for me because she doesn’t talk to me anymore).  She said no way – write to them.  I also asked if I could call Human Rights and got the same answer.  So I wrote letters to Human Rights, and Kenneth MacDonald, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court to ask for advice.  I don’t think [Counselor] should be allowed to prevent me from going to the Law Library.  The more I think about her, the more I realize she doesn’t have a clue what to do around here.  I am hoping that I can act as my own lawyer and therefore, presumably, they would have to give me access to the legal documents I require. I suppose that the most obvious result of this is that I will be denied a t.a. for the Detox. I think that [Counselor] is treading dangerously close to a lawsuit, I really hope so …

I also got a possible connection for some Atavan today which I will have to explore tomorrow. …

Neil got back from Moncton today. It’s quite a dump over there he says.  I guess we take this place for granted.  It’s pretty good really for a jail but the administration is all fucked up.  I guess it’s up to me to bring that to the publics attention as soon as I can get the chance … I’m having a lot of trouble sleeping lately.  Last night I was up till 4:30. I couldn’t sleep so I finished the last 450 pages in the book that I was reading, “Total Control” [by David Baldacci].  I haven’t napped today so I may sleep better.  A few valium sure would fix things though.

January 11

Today I wrote a letter to the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.  I forwarded it to Ken G. to mail it for me.  I did this because Sput said that, for me, when a letter goes out it has to go by [Counselor] first, so this way I can send the letter myself and the bitch can’t read it. Ha ha.

… I got a package from home.  My mother found info on Avionics jobs on PEI, so that’s something that I can look into.  She also said that Technical Writing is available via internet from Seneca, that’s interesting.  She sent a few pictures of [Janine] and the kids too.  I still kinda like [Janine] but there’s no turning back now ...

I had a meeting with the Minister this afternoon to try and get a [cross ?] (to piss off [Guard1]) and to try to enlist his help in getting a t.a. for treatment.  I think I’ve won him over but ultimately the decision is up to [Counselor] and [Supervisor] and they both hate me, so I’m prepared to be disappointed … I spoke to Dennis’s aunt and she had nothing left.  She seems like a stupid creature.  I also spoke to Ian and he only got 10 for me, was kinda disappointed there.  I [was] expecting there to be a lot more.  So much work for so little payoff, but hopefully something will work out for the weekend.

Reg also wrote a letter to the New Brunswick Ombudsman on this day - click here to read it.