January 2-5, 1999

No journal entries.

January 6  Punished in the Hole

For 2 days and nights I laid on the floor of a 6’ x 7’ perpetually luminated cement cell staring at the shit stained walls and breathing in air that reeked of urine.  The cell contained only a filthy toilet and a mattress that oozed of a brown foul smelling liquid.  I was allowed neither books to be read nor cigarettes to smoke (and I understand that is a right of most if not all other such institutions in this country).

To be locked in there alone is punishment enough, but without cigarettes for me, it was torture.  I know it’s a cliché, but I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy and I don’t understand how the punishment can be handed out as loosely as it was by Mr. Graves  It was beyond all reason and I am bitter about it.

 

Question on being assigned to Max security

It appears that I have been classified as a maximum security inmate although I have no record of violence, escapes, etc.  What a silly place this is.

Why is it that [Guard 5] has to take in child molesters in her unit because it is her job while in medium they are allowed to assemble their choice of inmates.  Apparently, medium sees itself as some sort of exclusive club.  Apparently, they can pick and choose the inmates for its preferred membership.  How does one get a membership?

I have never committed an act of violence.  How is it that I am now a maximum security inmate.  I would appreciate it if you would explain to me the basis for this policy.  I have followed the proper procedures / chain of command so I believe I am entitled to a response from you.  Please put it in words.

What it is that I’ve done that is so serious that I have been banned from a unit?

 

 

Letter to Zeke, the dog

Reg loved to toy with the guards and staff at Sleepy Hollow, so he decided to write a letter to his dog, Zeke. This joke, was something that they could not understand and they subseqently sent him for psychiatric evaluation - he turned out to be normal.

January 1999,

Dear Zeke:

Hi Zeke. How are ya doing? Pretty cold out isn't it? You're lucky you got all that fur. Did Santa bring you bones for Christmas?

 I bet you're happy if he did. You're wagging your tail aren't you? How about if Victoria gets you a COOKIE? You SIT and still get you a COOKIE. SIT Zeke SIT.

That's a good doggie. Say hi to Max for me, ok?

See ya, Reggie

 

January 7

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

January 12

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

January 15

 

January 16

I saw something curious on the calendar by the desk this evening.  It has “Reg to Max” written in on the 8th.  I came here on the fourth and so I’m thinking it may have been planned that I come here as [Guard1] had hinted.  George gave me some good advice which I will use in my meeting with [Guard1].

Called home this evening.  Heard that Gaylene quit her job.  Good news.  Also glad that I sent her second letter to sort of apologize.  Now the focus is on why [Janine] let her take the job in the first place.  My letters to the kids and Zeke [his Nova Scotia Duck Retriever dog] arrived ok.  They say Zeke was glad to hear from me.

Ambrose will be coming in for a visit on Tuesday which I look forward to.  I’m not keen on the plan to move me to minimum.  I hope it can be avoided as I am quite content here.  I’d like to remain here at least until John leaves.  I’m finding that the weekends are kind of peaceful now.  The regular week brings with it stress mostly from dealing with [Supervisor] and [nurse1].  Why can’t we all get along.

January 17 - "Reg learns Japanese"

We had a minor squabble in our unit today.  One of the guards, rookie, told me to clean up my room or he would charge me.  All the guys were offended and said if I was going to the hole they’de be going tool  So Lorrie intervened and we did clean up the mess.  Funny, I would rather have a messy room than a clean one.

No visitors again today, but none were really expected, except possibly Art or Anne.  Sent out a few more letters this evening, now I wait and see what happens.

No drugs around here today which is both good and bad.  I just had a piss test a couple of days ago so I should be safe for a month, but you never know...

... I spent an hour or so today copying Japanese words and phrases and their translation out of “Shogun”.  I’m learning some Japanese just from reading that book.

 

I’m interested in learning other languages, perhaps Polish, Japanese, and, well, I’m not sure what else.  It’s not very practical around here (except Japanese) but in a bigger city it would be.

I’m not really looking forward to tomorrow.  I have to meet with [Supervisor] and [Guard1] and somehow avoid their plans to move me to minimum.  I like it here in max and would prefer to stay here for a few more weeks.

January 18

Still haven’t been allowed to make a call to Holland College.  This is pissing me off.  I’m apprehensive about taking a correspondence course if it is going to be difficult to correspond.  I think they’re playing with my head.  No word about moving today.  [nurse1] was out too, in a meeting.  That’s what Jennifer said.  She’d make a much better nurse than [nurse1].  I was kind of annoyed during our poker game today.  I thought they were taking it just a bit too serious.  I’m wondering if I’m getting a bit depressed.  I just don’t feel normal.

I hope they will stop fucking around with my medication.  There  is no need of this bullshit.  This is something I should talk to Doctor AK about.  I’m looking forward to seeing him tomorrow.

January 19

All I had to look forward to today was a visit from Doctor AK but he didn’t come.  I was disappointed.  As it turns out, [Supervisor] didn’t call him to confirm the visit until this afternoon and by then it was too late.  Now I’m pissed off.  Never heard anything today about being moved.  I’m wondering what’s up with that.

Finally, I was able to make some phone calls to schools.  I got three answering machines.  One of them returned my call.  They’re fussy here about long distance calls so I hope the others call tomorrow. It would be nice to get something started.  I’m getting a wee bit bored, a bit tired of playing games.  I need some sort of challenge for my brain.  I crave knowledge and information.  Tomorrow I see the doctor about my pills again.  Tomorrows just another day.

January 20

Got some advice from one of the staff today suggesting I check to see if my letter to the medical society got out.  As I had expected, things just aren’t right around here.  I think I have my medication back to normal after seeing the doctor here today.  Jennifer filled in as the nurse today so I didn’t have to see the bitch ([nurse1]).  She’ll be sorry for the way she treated me, all of us.

We put in a request for Greg today to see the nurse about hemorroids and got a good laugh out of it.

I won a bunch of cigarettes playing poker which I traded for a meal and a piece of cheesecake, and Greg has to carry my tray back after breakfast.

I received mail from Durham College today about the creative writing course.  Now I must decide whether to take it or not.  The problem is that it may require research material which is hard to get from in here.

I’m thinking that I may plan, in my parole application, to attend Holland College and go to Talbot House.  I think this plan would get me out sooner and then (in the meantime) I could work on other plans.  I think that would be the fastest route out of here, although that will still take three months.

January 21

 My 90th day here and still I’m no closer to getting parole.  I’ve decided to change my strategy and make plans to live on PEI which I will after I get out.

My mother was here this afternoon.  It was a max visit since [Supervisor] didn’t get back to me about an open one.

Thought I might get hold of some pills tonight but it was not to be.  Maybe that’s a good thing, but it doesn’t seem like it.  The other guys are pretty disappointed.  We don’t have much to look forward to in here.  Drugs are very desirable.

It seems that we’re all getting sick of board games.  The ones we played today ended poorly. I’m glad that tomorrow is Friday, as I’ve come to look forward (sort of) to the weekends in here.

January 22

I got kinda pissed off playing cards today.  Sometimes Tyler can be a bit hard on the head.  So I took a long nap which I may regret if I have trouble sleeping.

No drugs arrived so we didn’t get high but I would like to see some before John goes to court.

Called Wayne tonight but he wasn’t home.  Must talk to him soon, see what he’s up to.

[nurse1] seems kinda cold to me when she brings the pills now.  I hope she got in shit because of my letter.  I mean, because of the way she behaved.  She was working tonight which is unusual for her.  Her schedule has been kind of erratic this week.  I wonder what’s up with that.

January 23

Again we played games all day.  We learned a new card game – prediction.

At lunch every put their deserts – pudding – on my tray.  I think they’re trying to get me fat.  It was good that I ate them cause we had stew for supper.  Garbage.

My mother told me tonight that a meeting is planned on Monday with her, Dr. Smith, Lorrie, [nurse1], [Supervisor], and Verna.  Sounds kinda strange to me.  I’m not sure what it’s about but I haven’t done anything wrong so there’s nothing to worry about.  But I’m curious.  Maybe somehow, it’ll help my parole.  I’ve been here for three months now and I can’t even send in the application yet.

I think I’m allowed an open visit tomorrow but I don’t know if anyone is coming.  I thought mum was going to bring Steven and [Valerie] but she’s working tomorrow evening so I don’t know.

January 24

We were watching a tv show about Angola Prison in Louisiana tonight.  Makes me glad to be a Canadian and glad to be a white guy, of course.  Things could be a lot worse.

No visitors today.  I didn’t really expect anyone but I was hoping someone would come.  So quickly we’re forgotten.

I went outside again today.  Yesterday, John and Tyler dragged me out.  I had made a commitment to myself not to go outside till spring but uh, well, they wanted me to come out.

Tomorrow is the day of the meeting.  I wonder what it’s about.  I wonder …

January 25

It’s Johns last day here.  Tomorrow morning he goes to court to be sentenced, likely to Springhill.  I really liked being in Johns unit.  He’s entertaining and funny.  I hope we meet again sometime.  For now, I’m glad to have met him.

The woman who runs minimum, Elsie, was here to see me about moving to minimum.  I told her I didn’t want to go.  I told her about the problems I was having with books and the parole application and she said she’d look into it for me, which was nice of her, at least there’s someone here who wants to help.

We had the meeting this afternoon:  me, mum, [Supervisor], Verna, John, [nurse1], psychologist (idiot).  I don’t think I really got any answers, just the same old bullshit.  But maybe it’ll help to make things go a little smoother.

It looks like they’ll find out about my parole – what’s going on with the assessment.  I gave my mother a Holland College application to submit so hopefully things will fall into place.

We played some games and had some arguments.  I think sometimes they take these games too seriously, but then I guess we’re all under a bit of stress.

I was at church tonight (I hate it).  Noel told me that Rob is in minimum, so I think I might try and get there after about 6 weeks in medium, if things go my way.  Noels getting on parole after 3 months.  I hope my application doesn’t take any longer than that.  Either way it looks like I’m here for at least 3 more months.

January 26

 I got up early to see John off this morning.  And he went.  But, as things turned out, his sentencing was put off until next Wednesday so he came back this afternoon.  And now everything is as it was before.

The board games and card games are getting a bit boring now.  I think I’m ready for a change.  I’d like to go to minimum cuz Robs there but I think I’d rather be in medium cause it’s not as crowded and everyone gets their own cell.  There’s no way I’m sharing a cell.  Hopefully within a week or so I’ll be moving on.

I’ve heard that Wayne C. is coming here this week so I should be able to submit my parole application next week and get that underway.

I was talking to Wayne on the phone this evening.  Not much going on with him.  Too bad that we can’t be hanging around with each other but that’s life.  Maybe we can meet up in Ontario this summer and carry on from there.  So much to do when this is over.  A whole world to explore, people to meet, adventures to take … sure would like a beer right now.

January 27

Wayne Clark showed up today and told me that he doesn’t want me at the Detox.  Prick.  Says, of course, I’m not motivated – standard rehab rejection.  I don’t understand what they expect from me.  And it appears he believes rumors about Mike selling drugs to or buying drugs from me or whatever it is.  SO it looks like I’ll have to come up with a new plan for parole.  Perhaps its better this way as I’m really sick of treatment anyway.

I saw Rob today, working in the kitchen.  Now, I’m interested in moving to minimum.  Rob says it’s ok there and Elsie seems nice enough.  I think it’s time for a change anyway.  The days seem to be getting a bit longer here.

(Reg also received a response from the Provincial Government related to his complaint of Dec. 26, 1998, that inmates had to share and re-use disposable razors, which is an obvious health hazard)

 

 

 

 

January 28

I’ll be glad when the weekend gets here.  Everyday seems to get a bit longer.

 

Today I called Irene [at Talbot House] and she told me that I would have to take a program to get out of here.  I hope they’ll take me in Souris.

Summerside is a possibility too but it’s inconvenient and would surely take longer to get an answer from than Souris.  I should have a bit of pull in Souris.

Getting really tired of playing games here but they always insist that I play.  I can’t even get time for a nap during the day.  Ah well …

January 29

I found out today that I will be moving to minimum.  I asked if I could stay here in Max till Monday and I’m still here tonight so it looks like they gave me what I wanted, which kind of surprised me.

One of the guards today told me that I should have directed my complaint about [nurse1] to the Nurses Union.  So I think I’ll rewrite my letter and send it that way.

We got a new guy in our unit today, Mike.  Now I’ve got someone to fill in for me when I don’t want to play board games.

So all is well here, the weekend is here, I don’t have to get up for breakfast tomorrow, everything’s alright.

January 30

I called home tonight and I really got annoyed.  My mother doesn’t want me to try and get me into the Souris Detox.  She’s been programmed by Wayne C..  It looks like now my only hope is to apply to Summerside, but I’m doubtful that they will take me.  Nobody wants me, except Sleepy Hollow.  Although, I should call the John Howard Society and see if they can do anything for me.  I’m trying to remain optimistic but sometimes it’s tough.  It seems like the system will never let me go.

January 31

Tomorrow, I go to minimum.  My feelings about this are mixed.  I like it here and get along good with everybody, but if I’m ever to get parole I have to be in medium or minimum.  I’m really confused about the parole.  It looks like more treatment is necessary but I just want to get on with my life.  I want the system to let go of me so I can get on with my life.

I recalculated my parole eligibility dates today and it looks like I may not be eligible for day parole till February 28 and full till June 4.  I had originally been told that I would be eligible for day parole February 1 (tomorrow) but now I’m not sure.  The jail and the parole board have different ways of calculating sentence length.  Tomorrow, I shall call Brian S. and hope there’s some way he can help.

February 1

I moved to minimum today and I don’t like it here.  There’s a couple of guys here I know, Rob and Jason, but the rest seem to be mostly a bunch of misfits and old men.  I’m in a room with 3 bunks.  I’m the only one here and I’ll be pissed off if they put someone else in here.  I’m wishing I had went to medium.  I expect that the days are going to seem very long here, very long indeed.

We get up an hour earlier for breakfast so the [day] will be an hour longer.  But I’ll give it a few weeks and see if I can find something positive about it.  If not, there are ways to get back to Max … although none of them look good on a parole application.  As for parole, I’m going to put in my application and see what happens.

Tomorrow I’m going to use the computers for the first time.  Hopefully there’s something I can learn and keep myself busy while in this place.

February 2

2nd day in minimum ok.  Was able to use computer this morning.  Should be able to learn something while I’m here, pass the time away.  I’m taking addiction course which is going ok.  Moe’s in it with me.  Doctor AK came to see me today.  I sort of wish he hadn’t because he was very negative; trying to make me feel guilty, ashamed, etc. …

I moved into a single room today.  Rob arranged it for me and he also made my bed although he doesn’t want that to appear in print so he says.

I called Art tonight.  He’s very busy working on plans for a boat.  Says he will be in to visit soon.  I think it’s ok with him if I use him for a job reference on my parole application, which I hope to submit tomorrow.

February 3

Well, Rob got sent to the hole today.  Seems he came after Jerry G. with a crib board.  Robs gotta learn to control his temper.  I expect that he’ll be sent to max after he gets out so I may not see him again in here.  He’s expecting to get paroled next wee – I don’t know if or how this incident would affect that.

I was working on the computer today but I didn’t get much time cuz Susan had to go to town.  I enjoy working on them though, hope I can learn something while I’m in here.  I was going to put in my parole today but Nancy, my case worker doesn’t think it’s a good idea.  She thinks I should wait till Wayne Clark comes again.  I’m not sure what to do.  Maybe, I’ll get to see Brian S. tomorrow and get some answers.

Should be getting a visit tomorrow – hope they have something good to say – don’t need any more lectures, negative comments, etc.  No, don’t think I need anything at all. All in all it’s just another brick in the wall …

February 5

Forgot to write anything yesterday.  So bored I slept all day.  The days can be so long in here.  Nothing much happened yesterday.  Mum and dad came to visit that’s about it.

I don’t look forward to the weekend.  There’s nothing to do here.  Not very many guys I want to hang out with.  I saw “cracks” over in the other unit, here for the weekend.  I’d like to talk to him but we’re not allowed to associate with the weekenders, we don’t even eat at the same time.  I find minimum to be just as strict as max, always locked in, tv off at eleven.  It’s supposed to be more lenient in here.  Joyce (guard) is getting on our nerves.  She’s always in the unit playing cards, telling us we are too loud, etc.  I might talk to Elsie about it, but I don’t want to be labeled as a troublemaker here too.

Finished first week of alcohol course.  Kind of boring at times but I got through it, need it for parole.  I’ve applied to Summerside treatment centre now.  Hopefully, they will accept me so I can get on with the parole.  A bunch of guys got parole this week (Noel, Jerry, Gill, Dean, Rob (I think he’s still in the hole), Doug MacKinnon).  I should have been one of them except for all this bullshit with Charlottetown Detox.  Wayne C., I now believe, is an asshole.  Looks like I will be here for at least three more months.

February 6

What a long fucking boring day this was.  There’s too many in our unit but not enough to talk to.  There’s a few of them leaving next week and maybe somebody new and interesting will move in.

I did some writing today, 5 pages, I figure if I could write 500, I’d have a book but what would I fill 500 pages with?  Although these five came out pretty easy.

Got a call through to Anne today.  Said she’d be out for a visit tomorrow night.  I think I’m in a craving.

Heard some news tonight that might be good news.  The next parole hearing is in April.  If I get my shit together in time I should be out by May.  But if not, the next hearing isn’t until July.

February 7

No visitors again today.  Nobody showed up.  [Janine] was supposed to bring in Steven and [Valerie].  I guess she’s playing some sort of head game.  I just don’t understand.  Anne didn’t show either.  I guess I’m not surprised but I was hoping.  I’m only 10 minutes out of Charlottetown, but I may as well be on another planet.

Leonard and Trevor were at the AA meeting.  Trevor spoke.  Good to see him.  Too bad some of the others didn’t come out too.  I guess I’m out of the picture – pretty much forgotten.  Just glad the weekend is finally over.  Hope next week is better.

February 8

Fucked up the computer this morning.  Nothing too serious.  I deleted the File Manager icon and nobody knows how to get it back.  “New” computers coming tomorrow so whoever sets them up should know what to do.

Heard today that there’s some pills coming in.  I’m feeling kinda uncomfortable about this.  I want to get high but I don’t want to get caught, of course.  My parole is at risk.  I’m considering refusing a piss test but I don’t know what the consequences of that would be.

Drug course still boring but I’m getting through it.  Went to church tonight.  Ron Y. was there and told me he’d try to bring some books to the library for me.  I’m glad I went if only for that. Got to see Tyler, John, and Rob there.  Rob lost his parole over the crib board incident.  I suppose it didn’t look good since he had just completed an Anger Management course.  His new release date is one day before mine.  I imagine we’ll be getting all fucked up then.  And I look forward to it.

February 9

Not much of a day.  Totally fucking boring.  I gotta get outa here.  Heard that Art and Cindy had a boy, so I am an uncle again.

I came up with an idea so they’ll give me a piss test.  I got Doug to write an anonymous note saying that he thinks I’m using drugs.  And tomorrow, I’ll slip it out by the office.  Hope it works.  I’ll have a fun weekend if it does.

February 11

I was kinda sick yesterday, some sort of flu I guess, but it’s better today.  Although by times, I’m very sick of this place.  At night, I don’t mind it here but the evenings and sometimes the afternoons are so long.

I’m an uncle again.  Art and Cindy had their kid Monday.  They called him Alexander Vitalus, a good MacDonald name.  I’d like it if [Janine] would bring my own kids in.  Somehow I think maybe she would be happy if [Valerie] didn’t even know me when I got out of here.  I don’t understand at all why she’s like that.

I was hoping to get a piss test this morning but it didn’t happen. Now my weekend is fucked up cause I can’t get fucked up.

We got five more people in here today. It was just getting cleared out to a comfortable level and now it’s full again.  I regret coming to minimum.  Leonard spoke at the meeting last night.  His story was very interesting.  I liked hearing it.

Tomorrow I think they’re coming in to fix my window.  That should be a pain in the arse.  I hope it’s not in the morning.  And another long weekend begins tomorrow.  Tonight I pray that I have a piss test tomorrow morning.

February 13

Anne called today, from Ontario.  She’s not mad at me.  I’m surprised her call got through but I was very glad to hear from her.  She’s gonna help me get settled in Ontario as I had hoped. Expecting a call again on Monday which I look forward to.

Finished drug program today.  Got a diploma.

Dan noted on my evaluation form that I needed further treatment for addiction / mental health.  He thinks I’m crazy, they all think I’m crazy.

Nobody understands me.  Poor me ...

... Jennifer was working tonight – always nice to see here.  She and I would make cute babies.  I wish she would replace the old hag, [nurse1].

Got a Valentines card from [Valerie] today.  She should be in to see me on Sunday.  I miss her.  She’s so cute.

Guy who was supposed to bring in drugs didn’t.  I think I’m a curse to anyone who tries to bring stuff in.  The plans always seem to go wrong when I’m involved.  I’m disappointed but I’m also relieved cause I didn’t get a piss test yet.  I’ll be really pissed off if I do get one this weekend though. But I won’t be surprised.

Overall things went well today.  It looks like I can begin to make plans for parole to Ontario.  That’s what I want so bad.  If it doesn’t work out, I will be sad.

February 14

Valentine’s Day, but it’s not all romantic in this place.  I did get my visit today.  Went okay, [Valerie] is a bit shy of me, which makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.  I find it hard to relax in the visiting room because the guard sits there and stares at us.  I was hoping my mother could bring me some computer books, but not it seems that not even that is allowed.  Oh, to be free again.  This has been such a long week; I thought it would never end.

I think tomorrow, I shall ask for a transfer to medium [security].  I hear that there is hardly anyone there.  Lots of room for me.  I’m hoping that this coming week, the guy from Summerside Detox will see me and accept me and I can get the parole papers in.

February 15

This place is driving foolish.  We got three more in here today, so there’s 15 now.  It’s way too crowded.  We got 2 good guys in though.  John M. came in this afternoon.  He’s just got here for the rest of the week.  He may be able to help us get some pills in.  And Crocks came in tonight.  He’s spending nights here until he finishes his day parole in a couple of weeks.  I’m hoping he’ll get some news on my car tomorrow.

I wanted to go to church tonight to see John, Tyler and Rob, but we had an incident.  A new guy dropped a gram down the sink, so somebody beat the pipe off with the crib board and there was water all over the bathroom.  Joey got in an argument with the guard and got sent to the hole.  I tried to get sent there too (we must back each other up) first by slamming the door and then by asking to be sent there but they wouldn’t do it.  But it may help me to get a transfer out of here, if they see that I’m getting stressed.  Susan wasn’t in today, so I couldn’t use the computers which made for a long day.  I hardly ever get to use them anyway.  There doesn’t seem to be any benefit to me being in minimum [security].  The days seem twice as long since I came in here.  Tonight I’ll pray to my higher power that I’ll get a piss test tomorrow.

February 16

Looks like I can’t get on the computer ‘til at least Friday now.  It seems that there’s no use trying to do anything in here.  They just want me to sit around and watch TV.  I asked about taking a course at Hall and College and a trip to UPEI library, but both ideas were shot down.  I think though that I may be successful in my request to go to medium [security].  Might find out tomorrow.

I can’t hack it in here much longer.  Too many people to watch TV and nothing else to do.  I didn’t mind jail ‘til I came down here.  Gotta get out, gotta get away.  If I stay too long, I’ll go insane.

February 17

I heard today that they will speed up your parole if you have a bed at the treatment centre, so I hope the Summerside guy shows up and takes me.  so much waiting.  It could drive me insane.  Haven’t heard anything from Anne yet this week.  I guess she couldn’t get her call through.

More waiting.  John got sentenced to two less [2 years less a day] so I’ll be seeing him around.  Perhaps we’ll meet up in medium [security].  I hope to be in there by Monday.  This unit is way too overcrowded.  I hardly watch any TV cause there’s a few guys who only want to watch movies, doesn’t matter if the movie is any good as long as it’s a movie.  Infidels.

February 18

This has gotta be my last day in the unit or I’m gonna lose control.  I sleep just to get away from everybody.  I slept so much today that I’ll probably be up all night.  I’ll ask again for a transfer and if I’m not moved tomorrow, then I’ll be going to max via the hole.

February 19

Got moved to medium this afternoon.  I’m back in the centre unit with John M., David W. and Dwayne M.  John gets out tomorrow, so they’re only to be the three of us.  It’s so much quieter here, so much better.  I know all the guys here, so everything should be fine.  I know just about everybody in this place.  They all seem to like me.  I’m a likeable guy.

Yeah, so the weekend is here, I’m gonna relax, gets lots of sleep and the time is going to go by a lot better.  Eventually, I’ll get out and everything will work out fine, just fine.

February 21

Everything’s all right in this unit – lots of peace and quiet.  Although I would like to see John and some of the other guys move in.  But for now it’s a lot better than minimum.  I’ve been doing a lot of reading since I got here (Kuko ??).  Art was here today.  I asked him to do me a favor, but I’m not really counting on him.  He’s not that reliable.  At least he came to visit anyway.

Goodwill group was here for AA tonight (Frankie and Alan).  Short meeting – just the way I like ‘em.  I read the promises backwords 12-1 just to be different.  I expect that soon I’ll be Secretary or Chairman.  Sounds a little bit interesting.  Hope I can make some progress on my parole application this week I gotta get outta here.

February 22

February will soon be over.  I hope this week is the week when I finally can submit my parole.  If I can get accepted by the treatment centre, I should be out sometime in May.  I was able to ask [Counselor] to call the treatment centre in Waterloo today.  Hopefully she will have some good or at least promising info for me tomorrow.  I think that perhaps I will write letters to some centres in Ontario.  What have I got to lose.

[Guard1], the asshole, is back to work here now.  So far, we’re staying out of each others’ way.  Saw the guys from max [security] in church tonight.  John, Rob and Genie are moving down here so things are looking up for later this week.  Also a hint of some drugs soon.  The longer I stay here, the more I see that I liked my old way of life, the more I’m losing interest in sobriety and all the bullshit associated with it.  There is some temptation to say “Fuck the piss tests” and just do my time and see what happens when I get out. Although I would to carry out my plan to move to Ontario, I hope I’m not just wasting my time trying to work it out from within this place.  Time will tell ….

February 23

Got news from Waterloo (via [Counselor]).  It looks like I could get in, but I would have to go to Ontario to find out, so that isn’t much good for parole.  So I called Freddie and asked him to look up some addresses on the internet on the internet.  He said he would, but he didn’t seem very interested in talking to me.  I wonder what’s up his ass.  [Counselor] seems reasonable to deal with.  I’ll see how she really is when I question her about the book policy and the eyeglass policy.  They should be able to pay for glasses for me if they can afford to pay thousands for the new desks they just received here.

I have a bunch of phone calls to make, but I didn’t get anything done the past 2 days cause [Guard1] is working and I don’t want to ask him for anything.  I’m getting anxious about the interview for the detox which I’m expecting and hoping for this week.  I was planning to tell off Wayne C., but now I think it might be best just to play along.  Sometimes you just have to play the game.

February 24

Today I put in a request to talk to Verna about the book policy with an implied threat that I might write letters to the government.  I was questioned about by Sharkey who then passed it on to [Counselor], whom I have yet to hear from.  This time I’m not giving up until I get my books.

I also had a minor argument with the nurse about getting glasses.  I expect that either the jail or welfare should pay for them since I am a ward of the government but, of course, she disagrees.  Bitch.  I’ll pursue this matter with [Counselor].

And I wrote to Anne.  I hope my letter will prompt her to write back.  I’d really like to hear from her again.

Gerard??? is out of province for 2 weeks, so there’s no hope of getting the parole until he gets back.  I fear that it’s getting late for the April hearing.  The next won’t be ‘till July.

Arrangements made to get drugs in on the weekend.  Hope all goes well.  Relief from boredom needed.

AA tonight – rather boring, but had some laughs with Dwayne.  Next meeting I will be Chairman or Secretary.  I wrote a letter to the Nova Scotia Minister of Justice for David (he asked for help) about getting transferred to Halifax jail.  He was pleased with the letter; I think that I write a good letter.  This talent may be of use to me in the future.

And I heard from Holland Cottage that I’m scheduled for an interview next month, so I will be getting out for a few hours at least.  Well, the guys are watching porno on the French channel – think I’ll join them.

February 25

Its been a pleasant day here for me.  I got called out to the office to talk to [Counselor] about the book policy and the eye thing.  I didn’t really get anywhere, but I had fun arguing with her.  She got all flustered and angry at me.  I won’t be getting any favors from her in the future, but it was all the worthwile just to see her react like she did.

So we started another letter writing campaign today.  I wrote to the Nurses Union, Mildred D., Pat M., the Human Rights Commission, and the Director of Corrections and tomorrow I plan to write to the Minister of Justice and possibly Education.  I enjoy getting things stirred. The policies I’m arguing against are illogical and I feel I have nothing to lose by complaining.  Now I can sit back and wait for results.

My mother was here today too, unexpected.  She’s going to Toronto next week and we asked her to call some treatment centres and also to call Anne.  I hope she’ll return with some useful information maybe things are going to work out after all.  Yeah.  I should be getting an interview with both Ch’town and Summerside detoxes tomorrow as it is the last working day of the month.  By the end of next week I should have a good understanding of what my options are.

Looking forward to a quiet peaceful weekend here with a remote possibility of some drugs.

Letter to the Nurses Association

R. MacDonald

Box 2710
Ch’town, PEI
C1A 8C3

Feb. 25, 1999

Dear Sir/Madam:

I am an inmate of the Provincial Correctional Center and I would like to bring to your attention an incident, or series of incidents involving myself and the nurse, xxx.

I am serving a sentence of two years less a day for a drug offence.  I am recovering from an extended period of drug addiction and have been diagnosed, by Dr. Marjorie Smith, with clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder.  I have been prescribed Paxil, Busparone, Inderol and Atarax to be taken daily until, as I understand it, it is determined by Dr. Smith that they be discontinued.

On Jan. 3, I was put in solitary confinement for a period of two days.  I felt that, under the circumstances, this punishment was not justified.  As a form of protest, I refused to take my medication until I was released. I was asked to sign a paper confirming that I had refused my medication, which I signed fearing that refusing to do so would lead to further confinement or loss of privileges.

After my release, I asked that my medication be given to me (on Jan. 6).  I was told that this would not be allowed until the doctor (Dr. Lantz) was able to see me for a re-diagnosis (?).  Ten days later.  During this ten day period, I noticed the return of my symptoms of my illness.  I expressed my concern about this to Nurse xxx and other staff members but was told that there was nothing that could or would be done for me.

On Jan. 13, I spoke with Nurse xxx and was told that because I had signed the paper, she was entitled to withhold my medication.  I disagreed, on the basis that when I was asked to sign the paper, I was not made aware that there would be such consequences.  I fully expected to receive my medication upon my release from confinement.  (During our conversation it seemed obvious to me that she more concerned with possible liability toward herself than with my well-being).

During the period that I was denied my medication I contacted my lawyer, Thane M,, to see if he could assist me in this matter.  He related to me that he was told by the nurse here that the reason I was not receiving my medication was because I had refused to give a urine sample.  This was completely false.  I had not been asked for a urine sample in the weeks preceeding this incident.

Furthermore when I have been asked for a sample, I have always complied. When I was able to see Dr. Lantz the following week he stated to me that he had been told that I had tested positive for drugs.  This too was false.  I had given a sample the day before my appointment with Dr. Lantz. At the time of the appointment, I believe that the results had not come back yet (it was negative) and Nurse xxx told him that it was positive, hoping and expecting that it would be positive.  This disturbs me because I have been involved in treatment for my addiction throughout the past year and I resent the implication, the spreading of false information by a medical professional, that I am again using drugs.  Considering my past, this would be very easy to believe but it was a lie.

I feel that Nurse xxx’s behavior was although possibly legal, highly unethical,.  I believe she operated outside of her boundaries as a health care professional and I find her attitude of professional arrogance to be quite disturbing.

I have been unable to access information regarding the policies and regulations of the jail regarding the rights of the inmate and obligations of the medical staff but I strongly suspect that my rights have been violated.

I feel it would be appropriate if some sort of disciplinary action were to be taken against Nurse xx to prevent a re-occurrence of this sort of incident in the future.

I would also like to make you aware of the fact on most evenings and weekends our medication is given out by guards.  This seems … inappropriate.  I wonder if we are supposed to accept a lower standard of health care because we are “just prisoners”.  The part time nurses (Jennifer and Sherri) are helpful and pleasant to deal with bu I question whether Nurse xxx’s behavior would be acceptable in any other health care setting. Thanks for your time.

Sincerely,

     

Reg MacDonald

     

February 26

Pills didn’t show up, but things went well today.  Paul M. from Summerside detox (good guy) came to interview me and will accept me as soon as a bed is available.  This is the news I’ve been waiting for.  Now my parole application can be resubmitted.  As Paul said, unlike Ch’town, punishment is not part of their treatment philosophy.  That’s the right kind of attitude to beat this disease.  Wayne C. is indeed a prick and I look forward to telling him so if he comes back to see me.  I’ve always heard he was a prick.  I gave him a chance, but if everybody is saying you’re a prick, then you probably are a prick.  And he is a prick.  I think that things are really going to start coming together for me over the next few weeks.  Maybe I should try and stay off drugs for awhile.  I’d really hate to fuck things up again.

I’m getting to feel comfortably in our unit now.  Dwayne and Dave are ok, easy to get along with, guys in the other units are alright too.  This evening I won the Crib Tournament, six straight wins – prize:  one bag of Skittles.

I’ve decided to get political.  I’m disgusted about the huge sums of money being spent here on unneeded desks, filing cabinets, chairs, shelving, etc. (probably $20,000+) when we are so obviously in need of books in the library, and they say the can’t afford to give us French fries for meals.

I hope to be able to contact a member of the opposition and get things stirred up.  So tonight I go to bed happy that I can finally see a way out.  Optimism keeps me going, eventually things will work out fine.  It just takes time.

Not much going on here.  Time’s go by slowly.  I advanced ahead one round in the Crib Doubles (with Abby) and in pool.  Found a collection of Far Side cartoons, which I always enjoy.

Tomorrow is the end of the month and exactly four months since I came in.  I expect that I’m well past my halfway mark if everything works out for parole.

February 27

Reg makes a silly request (many more to follow - although he may have been in jail, he was having some good fun)

February 28

It’s the last day of the month.  This month seemed to go by alright, a bit slow at first but things picked up.

Nobody came to visit today, but I wasn’t expecting anyone anyway.  We lost the Doubles Crib Tournament today I played Abby and I smoked him (45+) in the second game.  It was very enjoyable cause he is such a poor loser.  I hope I can finish him off tomorrow and bring home the Skittles.

Tonight I was the Secretary at AA, which went all right.  Next time I’ll be Chairman.  I’m taking control.  Ha ha ha ha.  Tomorrow I intend to piss off [Counselor] just for fun and get my parole plans written out, so I can submit them this week.  It’s reasonable to expect that next month will be my last month in this place.  Tomorrow, I’m supposed to start working out, see if I can loose some weight, get in shape.  It seems that I’m getting a wee bit fat.  Ah tomorrow …

March 1

Hmmm … Well, John came down to medium [security] today.  We didn’t get him in our unit.  They put him in with Moe.  I was hoping he’d be in here, but I suppose he’ll like it more over there cause it’s a bit more lively.  I can go over and play cards pretty well anytime I want anyway.

I was supposed to start working out today, but Moe and John didn’t come to gym to help me, so I played Snooker instead.  I beat Abby and advanced to the finals.  It was a pleasure to beat Abby because he’s such a sore loser.

I think I’d be a much better player if my eyesight was better.  I’m starting to feel fat and I don’t like it.  Eating junk food is one of the few pleasures I have in here, but it’s making me fat.  I weigh 179 pounds which is probably the heaviest I’ve ever been.  I’m having pains in my stomach lately.  At first I thought it was just hunger but it isn’t.  It feels like the time when I took [indiscipherable] every day for months and, I think, it ate away the lining of my stomach.

Looks like I’ll have to talk to the beast, [the nurse], about it.  Skeptical bitch, I don’t like her.  I despise her.  I can’t think of anyone I like less.  Bitch.  May the fleas of a thousand camels infest her armpits …

March 2

I was the pool tournament tonight against Dwayne.  I’m a Skittle King. So far we got Crib and Pool.  Tomorrow I try for Snooker.

I got woken up at five o’clock this morning for a piss test.  That’s okay, I’m clean.

Sharkey took me down to the staff lounge to mop the floor like a slave this morning.  I went peacefully.  After that, I went to the gym to try my first work out.  Moe and Dwayne showed me what to do.  I didn’t get any bigger today but if I keep it up, I guess that will come.

After lunch (donairs – my favorite meal here) I went outside with John, David, Richard and Moe.  It was actually kinda nice out, kinda peaceful and relaxing.  And this afternoon I wrote some letters to the chip company (about the state of chips), the chocolate bar company (about the mold on the Wonderbars) and the cracker company (I want to know why there’s always two crackers with burnt edges in every pack).  Nothing  too important, but I want to see what kind of response I get.  So far, this week is going by quickly.  So far, so good.  Yeah.

March 3

My arms are sore today from the work out I did yesterday.  I guess I have, as Moe put it “let myself deteriorate to a deplorable physical condition.”

Spent a lot of time in Moe’s unit playing cards today (playing Prediction, John taught me how to play Rummy.)

Dwayne got a chocolate bar this morning that had grey stuff all over it.  The Canteen guy shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this.

There were some women here talking to inmates, asking what it’s like here.  I didn’t see them but they are supposed to back tomorrow.

Went outside again today.  It was kinda cold; think I’ll not be doing that again for awhile.

Tonight I chaired my first AA meeting.  I like to think I did a pretty good job.  No complaints from the Peanut Gallery anyway.  And tonight I called [Janine], told her to say only good things to the parole guy if he calls.  Talked to [Valerie] for a sec.

I’m reading a book by Carl Sagan, “Brocas Brain”, which is really interesting.

 

 

March 4

I went to the gym with John and Moe this morning (John insisted) for my second work out.  John was torturing me so I snuck out a bit early.  My arms were sore.

This evening I won the Snooker tournament so now I’m the official Skittle King of Sleepy Hollow.  I found out that I like Skittles.  I passed them out to the guys in the unit when I came back from the gym.  And I learned 3 new card games:  Rummy, Knock Gin and Kings Corner (from John Runhard?? and Dwayne respectively).  Card games help the time go by faster.

I finished my parole paper and attempted to get my case worker, Dave, to pass it on but it seems that he’s an asshole.  I’m going to ??? ??? tomorrow.  My father was supposed to visit this evening, he was in town to pick up my mother at the airport.  Hope she came back with some good news.

All in all, I’m fairly content here but I look forward to moving on, getting back to the big city (Toronto).  I don’t think I’m cut out for the slow pace of PEI.  I’ve always wanted to live in a city.  I’m grateful that after all the shit I’ve been through these last 2 years, in going to get that opportunity.

March 5

Each week I look forward more and more to the weekend.  Tonight we were able to stay up and watch 2 episodes of South Park.  One of the guards, Wilfred, come in and watched it with us.

Most nights now we are able to go to the gym and work out at nine o’clock.  I’m not as sore as I was last time, but I am getting fat and that concerns me.

[Counselor] got pissed off at me today.  Strangely, I enjoy making her mad.  I put in a couple of silly requests, one asking for funds to hire a secretary preferably female and one asking to rezone out unit to commercial so we could sell crack.  She takes things far too seriously.

She also gave me a copy of the correction act, but she gave me one that was old (92) and had some pages missing.  So I put in a request which was kind of rude, she thought, and again she got pissed at me.  Ha ha.  The good part is (well besides seeing her get mad and not being able to do anything about it) was that I gave her my parole plan and I think she’ll get it in for me.  She seemed helpful about that.  We had a new female guard here today, not bad looking, but Jennifer didn’t bring us pills this week, that’s too bad.  I guess on good thing about the weekend is that I don’t have to see Nurse xxx.

I called Wayne this evening I didn’t have a whole lot to talk to talk to him about, but I like to keep in touch.  I’d like it if he too moved to Ontario.

I’m going over to the other unit quite a bit to play cards lately.  It seems more fun around here since John moved in.  He’s kind of a jolly guy.  All the guys in that unit, in medium [security] actually are alright except maybe Abby.  He can be a bit of a pinhead and he cheats at cards.  Doesn’t really bother me that much, but I’m glad he’s not in our unit.

We watched Oz tonight too.  It seems to be a pretty good show.  I’ll probably like it a lot when I get to know the characters.  Right now Andrew just found out that someone ([Terrence]) soaked his bed and put crackers all through it.  He’s stomping around, pissed off.  I offered him a set of sheets, as I have an extra set.  No I think I’ll go to bed and read more of Bracas Brain.

March 6

I was up at nine o’clock this morning to go to the gym for a workout.  I stayed with Richard this morning and followed him through his exercises which I found easier and more logical than John and Moe’s.  Then I went back to bed ‘til 3 o’clock.  And then I played some cards, watched some TV – pretty average day, but a reasonably pleasant day.

This morning I set the clock ahead 2 hours and told Andrew to get up for lunch.  It was kinda funny.  Other than that nothing too interesting happened, no confrontations with guard, etc.  “Superscrew” is working tonight, so we have to go to bed at eleven and then get up after he leaves at twelve (if one of the better guards comes on).  Woody might be working, but he’s a bit of a pinhead.

I wasn’t able to get to call home tonight when I tried it was busy and then all the slots were taken.  I was thinking that they might come in tomorrow, but I guess it’s going to storm, so that’s not likely.  Looks like we’ll be stormstayed.  Oh well …

March 7

The biggest news here today is that George Murphy was stabbed to death last night and Jody was brought out here today.  Strangely, I feel more sorry for Jody than for George.  I liked George, but I felt that he was fucking up Jody’s life.  I had thought before that I would have liked to tell her to stay away from him because she was staying off drugs and after he got out of jail he was using heavily and staying at her place and beating her too I guess.  The details, I suppose, will come in tomorrow …

I defeated Moe at Scrabble this afternoon.  It was a major victory because he’s never lost a game in the year that he’s been here.  Until he played me.  I got a message today that Anne called.  I thought it was Anne T and tried to call her back, but later I figured out that it was Anne from Toronto.  I wish I could call her back, but I can only call collect and I don’t want to do that.  My mother called her when she was in Toronto this week, but got no answer.  She didn’t call any treatment centres while she was up there either which is disappointing.  It seems that I can’t rely on anyone to do something for me, and it’s so hard to get anything done from in here.

My mother told me that the cops gave 900 bucks back to [Janine], but [Janine] apparently decided that she was keeping the money.  She did eventually give up 300, but I’m not happy with that.  She has no right to take it for herself.  I’m going to call her tonight and try to straighten her out.  Sometimes she can be such a stupid bitch.  Why must she play stress?? Head games.

March 8

Well, the latest rumor about George is that it was not a stabbing, but an overdose, possibly with dilaudid.  [nurse2] was released this morning.  Even though he’s dead either way I’m glad it didn’t happen as we first thought.  This is the first I’ve heard of a dilaudid overdose around here.  I’m wondering how many deaths I would be responsible for if I were to bring heroin to the island.  Sooner or later it will come here and with the way our societys approach to drugs are deaths will increase.  ??? Sad but true.

Nobody woke me for the gym this morning, so I didn’t work out.  I’m kinda disappointed about that.  I don’t wanna be fat.

I heard this morning, from Dave Faithful, that I may not be able to get into the Summerside Treatment Centre until June or July.  That sucks.  I hope he’s wrong.  I really hope he’s wrong.

March 9

I had another argument with [Counselor] today.  She was pissed at me for putting in silly requests (to see priest for exorcism, to see the vet because my dog is getting fat).  She threatened to send me to minimum [security] so I think I’ll cease with that for awhile.

• 
• 
•  

She gave me another copy of the Corrections Act, which too was incomplete, so I persisted ‘til she gave me a good one.  I enjoyed aggravating her.  But on the bright side, she told me that there were crossword puzzles available from George N. I’ll be seeing him tomorrow.  I’m also going to ask [Counselor] to go over some of the regulations with me, see if I can get her going again.  The other guys get a kick out of the things I do to annoy her.

I heard today that Brian S. is going to be here next week, so I expect that I’ll be able to talk with him, get some questions answered, move things ahead a bit.

Tonight I again find myself in a tangle with [Guard1], the biggest asshole here.  Seems that a request was put in for John and he accuses me of doing it, even threatened to send me to the hole.  Tomorrow I’m going to put in a request to talk to him about his disrespectful behavior towards me.  Then we’ll see him really freak out.  Ha ha ha ah ha ha ha ha ha ha

March 10

Well this morning the shit hit the fan.  It began with being able to work out an agreement with John and Moe that one of them would confess to writing the request (“I would like to have my collection of women’s underwear sent in and perhaps add to it, if you know what I mean” – John Collins) and I would agree, in exchange, to work out twice a day in the gym under their supervision, but it was not to be.  [Counselor] was in out unit at eight thirty and she wasn’t happy.  I was told to pack my bags and then they tried to send me to minimum [security], but I refused to go there so I was sent to the hole.  I was put in lock up, same cell as last time.

I tried to argue that I should be sent to max [security]for observation so I could smoke, but no, [Counselor] was determined that I was going to minimum [security], and until I agreed, I would stay right where I was.  In an attempt to force negotiations, I shit on the floor and then wrote “howdy ho” on the windows and rubbed shit all around.  It stunk really, really bad in there.  [nurse1] came in and when she saw it she said “Oh my god, is that feces?!”  She was disgusted.  Ha ha.  My strategy worked and [Counselor] came in to talk.

I agreed to go to minimum [security] since [Supervisor] was out till Friday (its Wednesday) so I would have had to stay where I was and talk to him then to get to reg or max (so they told me).  So now I’m in minimum.  All the guys support me and are amused by the situation.  Dave told me that I made the last month a lot more interesting for him, something he would never forget.  Tyler and the gang in max were asking to have me put there.  Rob and Doug are here, so I have some friends in minimum.  I’m probably infamous among the inmates here.  I expect that it will be awhile before they forget about me.  Actually, I enjoy the attention I get for the silly things I do.  Nothing I do is planned, but it always seems to blow up into a major event and unfortunately leads to me being transferred.  I haven’t done anything serious or bad, so I don’t expect that it will affect my parole, although we heard that Brian S. was here today and I’m hoping he wasn’t told that I was in the hole.

We had a good AA meeting tonight.  I was Chairman, got a few laughs from the crowd.  All the guys that came in I’ve not met before.  [Supervisor] M. was there.  I like [Supervisor], he’s kinda funny, good natured, fun loving.  Art from NA was there and gave a good speech, both amusing and interesting. We’re getting a pretty good crowd most nights.  I think it helps to try to put some humor into it.  After the meeting, I talked to John.  We had a good laugh about this morning’s events.  I guess [Counselor] chewed him out pretty good.  It’s fun to be involved in practical jokes with John cause he has a great sense of humor.  There’ll be some stories to tell when this is all over.  I hope to keep in touch with John.

I’m disappointed that I got moved out of medium cause there were a lot of good guys up there.  The days were going by quickly.  Maybe it won’t be so bad down here, it’s certainly not my preference.  Over all, I don’t really mind being in jail all that much.  We made a lot of friends here and I have been enriched by them and I’ve had some good times.  I just hope that I’ve helped to make the other guys’ time more enjoyable.

March 11

Today I got my own room which is a great relief as I hate sharing a room.  The guy I was in with yesterday is alright, but I like my privacy.

I got a letter today from the Minister of Education, Chester Gillam.

He asked for more information and said that he will discuss the matter with officials from the Department of Justice.  He seems willing to help and for that I am very pleased.

... I wrote several letters today: 

to Zeke (sent him some Skittles), [Valerie], Steven, and Anne. 

Every once in awhile I go on a letter writing spree.  Tomorrow I hope to reply to Chester Gillam and perhaps write to Richard B. 

Also today, I wrote a letter for one of the guys here; a complaint about the nurse (bitch).  She cut him off his Zanax and made some rude comments to him.  Very unprofessional of her.  He sent on copy to [Counselor] and I’ve suggested that he send another to the Nurses Union.  Somebody has to straighten out that miserable fucking bitch.

The tournaments started here today.  So far I’ve advanced one level in Crib and got a bag of Skittles from [Guard 4 for the snooker tournament in medium.

I found out from George N. that there aren’t any crossword puzzles here, so again I will pursue the matter.  Eventually they’re going to have to give in.  What a sweet victory that will be.

My mother and father came to visit this evening.  It was nice to see them, but I didn’t really have any news for them about parole or anything (I hadn’t reviewed my letter at that point).  Afterwards I got a full strip search (feet, ears, mouth) from that blonde haired prick whose name I can’t remember (Warren B., that’s it)  He didn’t search Doug at all.

I saw [Guard 2] on the way back and asked him when I could go back to medium.  I was surprised when he said, “in a week or so.”  Earlier today I was told by Elsie that they would probably never take me back there.

I’m not finding it as bad here in minimum this time around.  Most of the guys seem to be ok.  I may commit myself to staying for a few weeks.  It is noisy here and the guards are more intrusive?? But I think I can hack it for a few weeks.  (This morning Lana told me to get up and make?? the bed and then go back to bed!  What a stupid idea!)

I think I’ve been moved around more times than anybody in recent Sleepy Hollow history.  I’m getting well known for that, especially by the kitchen staff.  I’m well known throughout the jail for these things I do, but it keeps things interesting for me.  Yesterday I saw Stacey B. for a minute in lockup.  I guess he’s not all that well liked, but he and I have always gotten along fine.  If I do move to max I suppose I’ll be seeing him.

I haven’t seen any TV since I came here.  There’s just too many people here.  And we can’t stay up late like we did in medium.  I guess that’s the price I pay for writing silly requests, but it was worth it cause the memories are priceless and mine to keep forever.  Of all that’s happened in the past two years, I don’t regret much.  Now that the worst is over, I’m richer for having experienced it all.  That, to me, is what life is all about.

March 12

This morning Elsie woke me up and told me to make my bed and then I could go back to bed, but just with one blanket over me!?!  What a retarded idea.  I did it though cause I didn’t feel like pissing her off this morning.  This afternoon we had a talk about the book policy.  I think we reached some sort of agreement that if I could prove that I needed an educational book for the technical writing course she would allow me to have it brought in.  I’ll test her on that next week.  No luck with the cross worlds through.

Stacey came in this afternoon. I wasn’t at all expecting him here, but it’s good to have him here.  I guess he was pretty fucked up when he did the stabbing but he seems ok to me now.  I hope that he gets his shit together.

Thane M. was in the building today but again he dodged me.  What an asshole.

I’m getting to know the guys here.  Seems like most of them are alright, easy to get along with.  Tonight all of us watched South Park.

And I called [Janine] again and confirmed that she’s a bitch.  Sounds like she expects me to be paying child support while you are in jail. And expects me to live in Souris and work in the fish plant or some bullshit job.  I’m getting the feeling that she’s using the kids as a weapon against me.  She’s so fucking sick in the head.  I’m sure now that we’ll never be together again.  I just hope she doesn’t fuck up my parole application.  I don’t even like to think about her because if I get involved in her head games it will only make my time longer.  I’m beginning to understand why the word ex-wife is synonomous with cunt.

March 13

I lost out on all the tournaments today.  No skittles.  All the games were close but still no skittles.  And I managed to stay up all day without taking a nap.  I think that means I like it here better than last time.

Doug was talking about his mental health and how he is ordered to take urine and blood tests by the courts.  He’s also had shock treatment which, I gather, is very unpleasant.  It was interesting to hear him talk about it.

I almost manipulated (?) Geogina into looking up the eye care policy in the policies and procedures book but she didn’t get around to doing it.  Oh well, worth a try anyway.

Rob gave me his pill tonight (novaran ?).  I think I got a bit of a buzz from it.  I think I did.  I miss getting high.  Yeah, I do.

March 14

I slept all day today.  I didn’t get up (except for meals) till 5:00.  I hate Sundays so this helped pass the day.  I didn’t get any visits but I wasn’t expecting anyone.  I think I have more friends in here than I have outside.  Most of the people I know out there are only friends when drugs are involved.

I was secretary at AA tonight – a rather boring meeting.  Afterwards, John was telling me about his plans to form an inmate committee (until Moe talked him out of it).  I had been interested in that a while back but got nowhere because no one was really interested.  It might be time to make another attempt.

I wrote another silly request tonight (“I want to take a god-damn anger management course”).

Now I’m wondering if Elsie would “turn me up” (as John would say) for it.  I don’t really care.  I think I’m powerless over writing silly messages and my life has become unmanageable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

March 15

Elsie was slightly unhappy this morning about my request for the god-damn anger management course (actually, I think she was amused).  she also questioned me about my letter to Zeke but at the end she understood that it was just something to amuse Steven.

I wrote letters this afternoon to Chester Gillam and Richard Brown.

I’m hoping for some sort of response.  I think I’ve done all I can about the book policy.  Now I just have to wait and see what happens.

... I also spoke to Irene today and asked her for help in looking up treatment centers and info from Seneca College on the internet.  She said she would be able to do some research later in the week.

I worked out again tonight.  It’s getting to be a regular thing now.  I’ve gained 2 pounds but I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.  I’ve been eating less so I hope its muscle and not fat.  Still got quite a gut on me though.  I must be eating too many deserts in the kitchen.  Kinda have to though cause the meals suck.

I was at church tonight.  I had a few laughs during the singing and saw John, Tyler, and Mike.  I haven’t had a nap all day so I should sleep well tonight.

I’m hoping that Geogina will be working tomorrow so I can get some info about the parole.  I just need to get some idea of whats going on.

March 16

This has been a long boring day.  Usually, I like Tuesdays but this one just seemed to go on forever.  This morning I was able to use the computer for an hour which was good for a change.  Susan has a typing tutor which I kind of enjoyed (I’m at 12 wpm).  Andrew was there too, making a drawing of Mr. Hankey with the paintbrush thing.  I don’t think I did anything this afternoon.  I can’t remember doing anything.

I picked up some old books at the library this evening and was at the gym too.  Tomorrow I’m going to speak to Elsie about working in the library, to clean out some of the old books and try to arrange donations.  I’d like to do this but I expect they’ll find some excuse to disallow it.  What a bunch of bastards I have to deal with here!

March 17

This day went by quickly.  This morning I played with the typing tutor and got my speed up to 18 wpm – making progress.  After that I went to the library.  I am going to work there sorting out books, organizing, trying to get more books.  This job will allow me to get pizza and pop on Fridays with the kitchen and laundry workers.

Elsie suggested to me this morning that I should write my memoirs.  Not the first time that I’ve been told that.  She seems to be amused by my requests.

This afternoon the AIDS Society came in and put on a session about, of course, AIDS, and the spread of the disease through needles.  They gave out condoms but [Counselor] took them away from us because they are contraband, a very stupid naïve way of thinking, it seems to me.

This evening we had an AA meeting at which I was the Chairman.  I enjoy being Chairman and am enjoying the meetings more now.

And so tomorrow I will begin work at the library and I’m expecting a visit from my mother, Steven, and hopefully Victoria too.

March 18

Kept myself fairly busy today.  I went to the computer room at 1:00 and stayed there till 4.  I’m at 23 WPM now.  I’m enjoying the typing tutor.  If I stay on Susan’s good side I might be able to get [Microsoft] Word brought in too. I think I’ll be starting in the library tomorrow unless something comes up (not with me, with Susan.  I’m never busy).

I spent most of the evening playing rummy with Gordie, Donnie, and Larry – killed most of the evening doing that.

I finally got to talk to someone at Legal Aid today about retrieving my property.  Brenda said she would get back to me about it next week.  I suppose she probably won’t call me back though.  That would be normal for those people.  I was expecting a visit today but nobody showed up.  Oh well, maybe Sunday.

March 19

Today, I heard that I won’t be going to Holland College on Monday.  They’re going to come out here instead.  I’m disappointed about that but it’s not up to me.

I got to work on the computer again for a few hours today.  I really enjoy that.  I’m at 24 WPM now, about the same as yesterday, but it’s getting easier for me.  I haven’t started on the library yet but Susan is going to arrange some time to do it next week, probably in the evenings which would be good for me.  I got to go for pizza and pop this afternoon. That was nice for a change.  I haven’t had pop all year.  And I was working out at the gym this evening.  Rob tells me that I look a little bigger.  That’s encouraging.  I’ll have to keep at it.  I’d be happy if I could lose my gut.

So theweekend is here.  I’m sure that time will be long but I can get lots of sleep cause the guards don’t bother us much on weekends.

March 20

This morning I shaved off half my mustache.  Rob shaved circles on his cheeks and Larry shaved an arrow on his head.  We agreed on this last night.  Larry looks pretty silly.  I suppose I do too.  We spent most of the day playing rummy.  Jeff mentioned that he had some Ritalin at home so we’re trying to talk him into bringing them in next weekend.

Things are alright in this unit but I still think I’d rather be in medium with John, Richard and Terry, cause they’re closer to my age and we get along pretty well. But I can probably handle it here for a few more weeks.  As long as I get to work in the library time will go by fairly quickly.

March 21

Nobody came to visit today.  I was surprised and kinda disappointed by that.  Everybody else got a visit except me.  I tried Ritalin today.  Got one from one of the guys.  I got a nice buzz off it, enjoyed it, found it a little coke but much milder.  Hoping some more comes in next weekend.

Rob got pretty fucked up on a sleeping pill this evening.  The guard was staring at him so I hope he doesn’t get a piss test.  Sometimes it seems like he doesn’t want to get out, likes it here.  Go figure.

March 22

This month is winding down.  This morning I cleaned up the unit, the first time I did a clean up since I came to  jail. Whoever cleans up gets control of the remote for the day and I wanted to prevent them from watching some stupid movie tonight, and I did.

I got a message today that Anne called.  They wouldn’t let me call her back and wouldn’t let me talk to her when she called (this fucked up place).  I’m uncomfortable about calling her back cause I’d have to call collect.  I also got a message from Brian S. that he’s coming here tomorrow to see me.  That’s good news.  And another message from Holland College that they are coming here Friday to interview me.  And then another message from Irene that she has information for me and has mailed it to me.  So this should be a good week for me.

I asked Stacy to talk to the [Provincial] Minister about getting some books donated for the library.  I haven’t actually started working there but I guess I’ve been hired.  I’m using the computer every day during the week and the Anger Management course might be starting this week, so I’ll keep busy anyway between all that and playing rummy.

I gave Gordie some advice about [indiscipherable] medication this evening which I hope is helpful to him.  I get along well with him (I’d like to meet his sister) and most of the guys in here.  All is well.  All I need is a parole date to look forward to.

March 23

Brian Smith showed up to talk to me  today so he can get to work on the parole application.  He seems like a good guy.  His biggest concern is that the parole board would be hesitant to release me because of my long history of drug abuse.  I’ve done all I can to deal with it so I can only hope for the best.  There is a possibility I could be gone to Summerside to take the program in May.  Finally there is an end in sight.  I will try to contact Summerside Detox tomorrow to see if a bed is available.

This afternoon, I went to the first session of Anger Management, it went good – 2 hours.  John is in it too.  After that I worked at the computers again so I had a rather busy day (for here).  This evening we had a unit meeting to discuss things that are bothering us, which Stacey will discuss with Elsie tomorrow.  I told him to ask for crossword puzzles, so it will be interesting to see how she reacts to that.

Tomorrow, I must see if I can get my computer disc from personnel? so I can get my resume done and sent to Canadian [airlines]. According to Brian it will not be much trouble for me to move to Ontario.  As this day ends I’m feeling hopeful and optimistic.
Holland College Certificate

 

 

I also got a certificate in the main from Holland College saying that I had successfully completed the Internet Course I had signed up for but didn’t take because I got sent to jail.  Look’s like I got my money’s worth anyway.

I’ve got an application for outside privileges which I should find out about tomorrow.  I’d like to get out now that spring is here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

March 24

This is my 3rd notebook plus I’ve written about 100 more pages.  Rather prolific, I would say.

This morning we had a unit meeting with Elsie which turned out well.  She’s pretty reasonable to deal with.  We gained some new privileges and lost nothing.  A very fair deal for us and she never really said anything about my request.  She took them as a joke as they were intended.

Went to Anger Management and worked on computers again today, my routine, keeping myself busy.

I received a response from Hostess Chips in the mail about my out of date chips, which included a couple coupons for free chips. It often pays to complain.

(reg makes a request to see Paul MacKenzie of the Summerside Treatment facility - note that he writes his name and much of the request backwards!)

 

 

 

 

March 25

Got a visit today from my mother and father which went alright.  No bad news.  I can’t think of much that happened at all today besides that.  Just the usual stuff.  Things are pretty routine.  I got my outside privileges so I might go out tomorrow for a walk.  I’m going to start going out now that winter is over.

I chaired the AA meeting tonight.  Moe showed up to say goodbye.  I’ll kinda miss Moe – he’s a good fellow.  Rob heard today that he got his parole so he’ll be leaving us soon.  Maybe I’ll be next …

March 26

Went outside today – first time out except for the bullpen.  I didn’t like it – too cold.  I think I’ll stay in for a few more weeks.  Nothing to do out there but smoke.  Holland College came out to give me my test.  It was pretty easy, I think I did well.  I think my brain is working better than it has in years.

I wrote a letter on the computer to send out for book donations.  If Susan OK’s it, Monday we’ll send out a bunch of copies.  Rob went to the hole tonight.  I wasn’t around (sleeping) but I guess he asked to go because he thought he might flip out.  Over what I don’t know.  I think he’s a bit mixed up about leaving next week (it ain’t such a bad place).

I’ve been a wee bit cranky towards him lately and I’m feeling a bit guilty about that.  It is a bit stressful living here with ten other guys in this small space.  We got the Axis and Allies game in today – looks complicated.  I’d like to get it figured out before Rob comes back so we can play.  Now that I’d like to be in John’s unit because he played it before.  All in all, this has been a good week for me, if everything goes well I’ll be out in five or six more weeks if everything goes well …

 

 

March 27

I didn’t do much of anything today.  I wrote a letter to [Pauline].  Trying to make her happy since I forgot to write to her, never thought of it actually.  Rob got out of the hole today.  I guess he asked to go there because he was upset when he heard there were rumours going around that he was gay.  I think he should expect that if he is going to go around hugging everybody.  Seems like he’s getting on my nerves lately.  He’s a good guy but he’s acting a bit weird lately, probably just needs to get out.  I hope my time comes soon.

March 28

As of today, I’ve been in here five months.  But today has been long and boring.  I suppose the best part was playing snooker with Rob for the tournament.  All three games came down to the last ball but he got the last game (and first), so he won the skittles.  We’re of about equal skill, I would say.

I was looking forward to AA tonight cause I thought Brian and Danny and Trevor would be coming out from the North End group, but they didn’t come, so it was just another boring AA meeting.

I’m going to ask about going to medium tomorrow.  I’m really getting sick of everybody always watching movies all day.

March 29

Time seems to be slowing down.  Time is elastic.  Brian S. called me at 7:30 this morning.  He’s very good to return calls (I called him Friday afternoon).  Sounds like he’s getting down to business with my application.  He called what’s her face (Georgina?) this afternoon to ask how I’ve been doing.  He told me he’s working towards the first of May.  If so, I’ll have only one month left.  Ya-hoo.

This morning I completed some letters on the computer which I hope will get sent out soon to ask for book donations.  I’d like to have the library finished before I leave.  That will be my legacy here … Anger Management was cancelled again today for some unknown reason … I got an envelope in the mail but it had someone else’s letter in it (?) – somebody fucked up …

I was going to skip church tonight but they came looking for me so I went, I was disappointed that Tyler wasn’t there – I may not see him again, after he gets sentenced on Wednesday … We have a game of rummy here every night before lockdown which I find enjoyable.  I will miss hanging around with some of these guys when I get out.  Oh well, one more day and we’ll be into April, hopefully my last month here.

March 31

I didn’t make an entry yesterday because I was busy sleeping.  It was a dull day except for two events.  In the morning, at breakfast, this weirdo guard was working.  He has a think about putting the silverware in the bucket in threes, so we put all the silverware in a pile and Stacey passed him four pieces.  He threw them on the table and yelled, “split em out boys, in threes, right quick!”  At which we all laughed our heads off (just an expression), and last night we tried to get Doug with a shaving cream bomb but it sort of backfired.  I got it all over myself.  It was good for a laugh anyway.

This morning Doug got out on parole.  He’s-a-gone.  Also this morning I got [Counselor] to call Anne for me then Anne called me back.  She’s been calling for weeks but couldn’t get through.  It was nice talking to her.  She has a nice sense of humor and she’s very pleasant.  I really hope I can get to Ontario and work with her at Canadian [Airlines].  This afternoon, I finished typing up my letter, I mean resume.  The next time I get at the computer I’m going to write a cover letter and get it out to Canadian …

Anger Management was cancelled again today (this is starting to make me angry).  All week its been cancelled and so has most of the computer time.

Every day seems like a holiday, and Easter weekend is coming so its gonna be a long week altogether … Since Doug is gone we need a new co-chairman for AA.  I’ve asked John and I think he’ll do it starting Sunday.  He was writing his GED’s tonight.  They should be good meetings with me and John both in charge …  Our unit is down to eight or nine guys which is a more comfortable level.  I kinda like it here now, most of them are alright, the rest I can put up with.  Of course that doesn’t mean I won’t be glad to get out of here.  Now that the winter is over, freedom seems much more attractive.

April 1

Another “holiday” for staff here today.  Anger Management and computers both were cancelled, this makes the days seem so long … Gordie was released today for a new trial, I kinda liked having him around and tomorrow Rob is going to Summerside.  Almost all of the old crew is gone now except John and I.  I hope to be next …

I was kinda fucked up last night and this morning, groggy and confused, from taking a couple of Robs bug pills (norinan?) last night … I was outside again today but I didn’t like it out there – too damn cold … no visits today, I hope they’ll be in to see me on Sunday, after all, it’s Easter …

I told [Guard1] to fuck off today in Polish.  We got a good laugh out of that.  He’s such a pinhead.  Tomorrow the long holiday weekend starts.  I think it’s gonna be a long one.

April 2

Good Friday.  Long boring Friday.  Holidays suck when you’re in jail.  What really bugs me is not getting a newspaper.  I asked Georgina to bring one in but she didn’t … I cleaned up today so I got the remote.  So we didn’t have to watch some stupid movie tonight.

John’s getting out tomorrow so that shouldn’t be such a problem anyway … We got Rob with the shaving cream this morning – all over his head and his bed.  He went to Summerside this evening.  I’m not sure if he wanted to get out or not.  Mixed emotions, I guess.  I’ve made a lot of friends in here too.  But change always comes for good or for bad.  We all gotta move on …

Stacey overheard Joyce on the phone saying that the Minister is a queer and something is going on with him and Stacey.  Naturally, he’s pretty upset.  I hope Joyce gets in some shit over this.  She treats us all with no respect.  She’s a bitch.  A lot of the staff here are bitches or pricks.  Must be a prerequisite for employment here.  Their negative attitude seems to be a part of their job.  Unfortunately, this sort of behavior is accepted by the management of this place.  I suppose if nobody complains they get away with it and this in turn fosters it.  I fail to see how places like this do anybody any good.  Some people have to be locked up to protect society if their crimes are serious enough but for most of us here its just a waste of time.  Just a waste of time.

April 3

I slept till five o’clock today so it was a short day and I’ve not much to say … we had a good joke set up for John last night, a bucket of water against the door and a can of shaving cream to go under but Larry fell asleep so it didn’t happen.  Too bad, so sad …

I wrote a letter to the Minister of Justice this evening to ask about PEI’s policy on rehabilitation and a letter to Rockport to complain about the moldy tobacco.  Hope I get some answers before I get out … and that’s about all I did today.

My mother told me that [Janine] is coming in tomorrow so I’m looking forward to seeing [Valerie] (and Steven if he comes) and they say that [Pauline] was happy to get my letter so that makes me happy too.  Tonight, I go to bed happy.

April 4

Another long one.  I was expecting a visit from [Janine] but she didn’t show.  Might be the weather but I suspect that if Flaky’s were on sale at Sobey’s she’d make her way in.  These are the things that piss me off …

Had our first AA meeting with John as Secretary tonight.  I think it’ll be fun doing the meetings with him.  Larry and I spent some time tonight planning to stir up some shit to annoy the staff.  And tomorrow, I’m going to help a few of the guys write letters of complaint against the beast, [Nurse].  Might be an interesting day tomorrow …

April 5

Even though it’s a holiday we had to get up for breakfast this morning, fucking place.  We all moved to the far end of the kitchen because Stacey gets pissed off at the guards staring at us.  Larry tried to sit with the guards but they sent him away.  I didn’t really do anything today but sleep and watch tv, a model inmate, I suppose … Well, I did shit in a tobacco can.  I’m saving it for a joke me and Larry are planning.  Larry’s up for anything.  If I didn’t have to worry about parole, we’d wreck the place … after lockup Larry and Kevin sat around in my room to talk for a while, until Nancy sent us to bed … I’m hoping that things are back to normal around here tomorrow so I can work on my resume and got some letters sent.  I helped Larry and Kevin write letters of complaint about the nurse today.  She’s such a bitch.

April 6

Anger Management started again today.  I kinda enjoy this course.  Everybody talks about things that bug them and I find it interesting … and, Thane from Legal was here today, finally.  He still hadn’t even mailed my letter which I sent to him on Feb. 25  He gave it back and asked me to remove any reference to him - a spineless coward.  I asked him to get my sentence transcript.  I may get out earlier on parole if I can get a copy of that.  I did get my letter in the mail today and Larry and [Counselor] were working on theirs too.

Stacey had a talk with [Counselor] to complain about the nurse and ask if she could call the Nurses Association and invite a rep to come out here and talk to us.  [Counselor] won’t allow this.  They all cover each others ass out here.  She suggested to Stacey that things would get difficult for him if he persisted in complaining and also referred to me as a troublemaker …

I had a look at my file today.  There’s nothing negative in it but I was annoyed that my assessment of Doug Faithfuls drug course was in it and this was supposed to be anonymous when it was handed in.  I put in a complaint about him and I hope I get to confront the spineless little bastard tomorrow … this evening they put a child molester in with us.

Everything was going alright, I’m comfortable here, getting along with everybody and then they put this sick bastard piece os shit in here.  This guy commits the worst possible crime and is given a 2 ½ month sentence, there’s something wrong with the justice system.  I don’t think that I get angry often but I really did when this guy came in.  we agreed not to do anything to him tonight but if he’s not gone tomorrow, I’m asking for a transfer to another unit.  I hope that I don’t have to go but I’m not comfortable having this guy in here.  He should have to spend his entire sentence in the hole.  Nothing should come easy for him.

April 7

Today I find myself back in max, via the hole.  Last night, most of our unit had decided we didn’t want the pedophile in our unit.  Larry was the first to complain this morning.  Elsie told him he was going to medium, but Stacey talked him out of it and talked Elsie into letting him stay and then it was my turn.  I told her I didn’t want him there.  She said, “well, you can go back to lockup if you want”, I took this as a threat so I said ok.  I’m not going to let anyone intimidate me.  Stacey was disappointed and offered to intervene but I didn’t want him to.  I’m hoping that this will get them even more pissed off at the fag.  That piece of shit should do his whole sentence in lockup, but no, he gets special treatment, even comes in with a new pair of sneakers (Stacy’s been trying to get his for 2 weeks now).  So I spent the afternoon in lockup and then, I got sent to max.  Vern seemed to be kind of annoyed when I got here and wouldn’t put me in Tyler’s unit.

So I’m back in the centre unit with two guys from Souris who I never heard of before.  So far, I like it here.  It is so much quieter.  It’s like a vacation.  The guards don’t bother you here.  What I don’t like is that all of the old gang is in medium now.  Elsie told me they won’t take me in medium but from here I might have a better chance.  I’ll be very pleased if I can get from here [this is a tongue-in-cheek reference to an REM song, I believe].  Another problem is that I might not be able to finish the Anger Management course from here in March or work on the computers.  That I will find out tomorrow.  Anyway, I’m not unhappy about being here, but I did like hanging around with Larry.  I was hoping that we’d be able to go to medium.  I have his phone number anyway so I can get hold of him after I get out.  I don’t think my being sent here will have any affect on my parole.  Although it might not look good if I don’t finish the Anger Management course.  But that’s out of my control now.  Whatever comes next, I shall remain an optimist.

April 8

I found out today that the reason [Janine] was coming in Sunday was to tell me that she has filed for a Legal Separation.  Apparently she has been working on this since February but kept it a secret.  What a gutless bitch.  I’m neither surprised not disappointed.  I’m actually feeling relieved.  I knew that it was all over.  It probably could have been worked out if she wanted to talk about it, but I’m glad it turned out this way.  I don’t find her any fun to be with anymore.  She’s only 29 but she seems like a 50 year old woman.  My biggest regret is that I won’t be around to see [Valerie] and Steven grow up and I suspect that to them she will make me out to be the bad guy.  Anyway, I will leave the place a free man, in every way.

I had a good talk with [Counselor] today, a calm reflectional conversation.  Seems that she considers me a bad influence on the guys in medium so I may not be going back there.  She’s going away for a week so I guess we’ll discuss it when she gets back.  I have the option of going back to minimum but I’m not interested.  I made my stand and I can’t back down now.  No turning back.  I’ve asked Leo to move me over to Tylers unit but he doesn’t want to.  I’ll have to try again tomorrow.  I must also see if I can arrange a special visit for [Janine].

April 9

Tried to get moved to Tylers unit today but it seems that they don’t want me and Tyler together.  I’m not wanted in too many places in this jail.  Good thing I’m getting out soon.  Brian S. told me today that we’re still aiming for the first of May.  So that’s good but I hope [Janine] doesn’t say anything bad about me.  I’m still disturbed by how she was going to let the Legal papers arrive without telling me in advance.  What have I done to deserve that sort of treatment?  How can she be so cold hearted?

I was allowed to go to Anger Management today.  I like these sessions – glad that I am allowed to finish it.

Last night I hardly slept at all.  I was really sick – sore back, sore stomach.  I felt like I was coming off heroin again.  I talked to Jennifer about it tonight.  I couldn’t get any extra pills out of her but she’s nice to talk to.  She’s so nice.  I like her.  She and I would make cute babies.  I think it’s some sort of stomach flu that I have.  I’m hoping that it will be gone tomorrow.

I noticed today that they’ve got the library all torn apart to put in the new shelves.  [Supervisor] told me that I may still be able to help out.  I’d really enjoy that.  The staff might start bringing in their used books now that they see something going on in there.

I’m not really pleased with the company in this unit.  John’s ok, but then the other two, I believe, are pinheads.  But at least they’re South Park watching pinheads … One of them watches “The Waltons” every night – fucking farm boy.  Well, the gravol seems to have taken my pain away so now I shall go to bed.

April 10

I’m really bored here.  I don’t like these guys I’m in with.  They are pinheads, especially the new guy.  I might ask about going to Barry’s unit.

I’m still feeling sick too.  This really sucks.  My stomach is always sore and my back hurts.  I wish I had some pills to knock me out for a couple of days.

April 11

Sick.

April 12

Sick.

April 13

Finally getting over this stomach flu or whatever it is.  I felt like I was going through heroin withdrawal the past few days.  I suppose the bright side is that I lost some weight cause I’ve hardly eaten any meals since Sunday … We got a real bunch of pinheads in this unit.  Usually I get along with everybody but I don’t care for these idiots at all.  One scruffbag doesn’t want anybody to shower in the morning, so I do it anyway just to piss him off.  What a bunch of pinheads.  And also some of the ugliest guys I’ve ever seen.  Dirty, ugly, pinheads …  Susan took me down to the computer room this afternoon so I was able to finish my resume and cover letter and got them printed as well.  If everything goes ok, I should have them in the mail next week.

… I’m really starting to look forward to getting out of here.  After this last move I’m getting so tired of the bullshit around here.  I don’t know how some of these people can live with themselves, such a sour miserable bunch of bastards.  Seems like they exist only to make things difficult for us.  I just don’t get it.  [Supervisor] Trainor probably walks out of here every day saying, “wow, I had a great day.  I fucked Reg around, I fucked Tyler around, I fucked John around a lot …”

April 14

My health is better today.  I think part of my sickness is self induced by not eating.  But I just wasn’t hungry the past few days.  I asked to see the doctor but she said he wasn’t in today. I’m now wondering if she lied to me.  I heard her ask another inmate if he wanted to see a doctor.  She was kinda sucking up to a guy in medium because he’s upset with her for taking away his pills.  He, being smart for an Indian I suppose, has gotten his lawyer involved.  She’s not gonna keep getting away with this bullshit

… they sent us all to the gym this morning so they could search the unit.  Nothing was found.  I’m surprised that someone ([Supervisor]) could work here five days a week and yet be so out of touch as to order a search when there are no drugs around … hmmm …

... instead of waiting in the gym I was able to go and help out in the library sorting out the old books.  There’s a lot of shitty books there (I found one called “Chocolate Charlie”, about a black boy.  I think you could call that racist).  Susan and I prepared a letter to send out to bookstores and libraries but it seems that [Supervisor] has stalled it.  What a bonehead …

I finally sent out my application to Canadian today.  I’m anxious now to see what kind of response I get … we finished the Anger Management course today.  It was a fairly good course – George is an ok guy.  Too bad the rest of them are such assholes …

This unit is getting filled up again.  How come that always happens after I get here?  I would have enjoyed the peace and quiet.  Instead, I spend all my time in my room cause the guys I’m in with are idiots.

[Counselor] is back tomorrow so maybe, not likely but maybe, she’ll move me.  It might help if she sees that I am working in the library.  I’ll not get my hopes up though … A cop was here today to get my fingerprints.  Laurie McLure from Souris.  He told me he used to go fishing with my grandfather at the brook.  I must ask dad about that place.  Apparently, we used to own it.  I should have asked him some questions about my grandfather.  I regret that now.  I wish I knew more about him.

I heard from Thane today that my sentence calculation started on November 25 so it looks like I won’t get full parole until June 15, so I’ve got 2 more months yet – 2 weeks more here (that’s all – I hope) and then six weeks in Summerside.  And then, if all goes well, I’ll be making plans for Ontario.  And it all gets better from there.

April 15

My mothers birthday and she was in to visit today.  She’ll be back again Sunday with Steven and [Valerie] if I can arrange an open visit.  I’m not sure I can do that cause Lorrie and Leo are both out tomorrow and [Supervisor] is an asshole …  No word from him today on whether or not I can go to medium.  I’m not really expecting it but there are a lot of guys in maximum, it’s almost full, so they might have to move some of us out.  It should only be a couple more weeks here anyway although parole hasn’t yet contacted anyone in Souris.

…  I was at the library again this morning.  I threw out a lot of books that nobody would read.  And Susan taught me the MicMac word for beer, although I can’t remember it now.  Something about yeast sooga or something like that.  I should have wrote it down … Every day in here gets just a little bit longer.  I’m ready to move on.  This month is my fifteenth in custody, in one form or another - a long time, such a long time.

April 16

It now appears that I will have to spend the rest of my time here in max.  Apparently, medium wants nothing to do with me.  What a silly place this is.  I really hope nothing goes wrong and I get out as planned. … Richard is getting out too, in a couple of weeks and returning to Toronto.  I hope to get his number and make contact.  I wish I was able to spend some time here with him and John before I left but I guess that won’t be possible.

John  … told me this morning that [nurse1] has put a remark on his parole papers about being suspected of taking creatine.  Again, she plays the bitch.  And she’s good at it …

Susan took me down to work on the computers this afternoon.  I’m glad she is here.  She has probably been more helpful than anyone here for me.  Yesterday she taught me the MicMac word for beer (bos yeast sa boo). So now I can say beer in ten languages.  I be a linguist …

South Park tonight was about Kyles parents getting divorces and how it fucked up his life.  I wonder if Steven was watching it (of course he was) and what he was thinking about.  Even if only for his sake I think [Janine] should have tried to make things work out.  I’m glad that I’m free but I’m sad about what happens to him and [Valerie].  It is them who are the victims, unfortunately.

April 17

Just another long boring eventless day.

April 19

I slept just about all day yesterday.  It’s extremely boring here.  Well I read a lot too, finished “Black Light” [by Elizabeth Hand] – not bad.

Today is another boring day … I sent a letter to Verna yesterday asking her to explain why I can’t go to medium and today [Supervisor] gave it back to me and said “Verna agrees with my decision”.  I was expecting a written response so I told [Supervisor] to give it back to her and tell her to put her reply in writing.  I believe that I deserve that much. …

I got a list of treatment centres in Ontario from [Supervisor] and I’ve written a letter which I hope to type up and send to about 15 places.  I think Kitchener or Hamilton would be my preferred location.  I’m getting kinda excited about going to Ontario.  I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t get my parole … I asked Les again about moving to Tyler’s unit but he didn’t really give me an answer so maybe that means no.  I learned one of the guys over there is a Sampson from Souris, [Supervisor]’s cousin …

I was at church tonight, which, I like cause we get to mingle with the guys from the other units.  It’s the only time that Max is allowed to do so.  John told me that he is considering suing [nurse1], the bitch.  I hope he does.  She should be stopped, such a bitch.  Tomorrow, I can begin my 10 day countdown till I’m outta this place.  Time to make like horseshit and hit the trail.

April 20

Today I was able to get moved over to the other unit, with Tylers help.  The company is much better.  I heard [Supervisor] telling Tyler that he was concerned that I would start writing letters and that was why he didn’t want me in here.  I hadn’t heard that explanation before (it wasn’t what [Counselor] told me) so I’m going to ask [Supervisor] about it and request a written explanation.  Other than that, not much happened today.

We played Scrabble and Risk, which I haven’t played since the last time I was here.  My time should go by a bit faster in this unit.  I’m anxious to hear some more about my parole.  I hope everything is ok.

April 21

Heard some disappointing news today.  My mother said she was told that there were no beds left for the May program.  If not, I’ll be spending another month here.  I hope to find out for sure tomorrow.  I don’t want to spend another month here especially now that I’m so close to getting out.  I hate this fucking system …  I had a talk / argument with [Supervisor] today about why I’m being held here.  I heard him say yesterday that it was because of my letters but he denied that.  I can’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth.  Man of a thousand faces …

[Janine]s separation papers came today.  I’m thinking that I really should talk to a lawyer about this before I sign anything.  The money that the cops gave her is going to be a snag because I’m going to insist on receiving that before I sign …  they moved two guys over to the other unit so things are good here now; just four of us:  Me, Tyler, Jason and Tom.  My time is going by much better here.  Over there I was spending it alone in my room but here I find it much more relaxing to be able to play Scrabble or Risk or watch something good on tv.

April 22

Couldn’t get any news today.  Brian S. is out till Monday, at the parole hearing in Moncton, I suppose, Paul M. at Summerside Detox wasn’t in and my mother didn’t come in.  So I’m not sure when I’ll get the answers but I’m preparing myself to be disappointed.  Good luck hasn’t often come my way the past year. … Tom went to medium today so now it’s just me, Tyler, and Jason.  But Larry is in lockup and might be coming here.  I’d like to have him in with us …

I was able to see my file today – nothing too incriminating in it, but [Supervisor] said there was stuff I wasn’t allowed to see.  I should have asked him about that …  George finally got some crossword puzzles in today.  I’m pleased about that … I’m really getting tired of this place though. Got get out, gotta get away …  Tiger Bay …

April 23

The pills came in today.  Tyler was right out of it at supper and [Guard 3] took him to the lock-up shortly afterward.  I didn’t take any cause it was too risky now with the Detox thing coming up if it happens.  Although, I did hear Jolie say that she didn’t want to take the program next month, so maybe there will be an opening.  I’ll cross my fingers …

I’m no longer getting chicken instead of fish.  They’re always giving me leftovers now or some other shit, a sandwich.  I’m wondering if the nurse is behind this (I think they’re searching Tylers room right now – hope there’s nothing in there.  He has some oil [hash oil] too.)  It’s going to be quiet around here without Tyler. I suppose they’ll keep him for a few days.  I’m wondering if they’re going to search my room.  I’m expecting a piss test tomorrow morning at least.  I’ve got something up my arse right now and I don’t know what to do with it.

April 24

Major fuck up here today.  They wouldn’t let me have my visit.  Michelle told me at quarter to one that they were here.  I waited and waited and then at quarter after one they said there was ‘complications’.  Five minutes later Bill came and said he couldn’t let them in cause they were expecting my mother and not [Janine].  This is incredibly stupid.  They sent them back to Souris.  Things are so fucked up around here.  Not one of those bastards has an ounce of compassion in their bodies.  They are so focused on punishment they can’t even be human.  What’s worse is that its really the kids that get punished, more so than me.  The system here is just so terrible.  I don’t know how these people can live with themselves.  I called home this evening and everybody was pissed off.  I suppose we’re partly to blame for not saying [Janine] was coming but who would ever expect something like this to happen?  I’ll be so glad to get out of here.

My mother found out that my name is on the list for the May program so there is hope that I’ll be gone next week.  Oh, please … my mother told me that they think [Valerie] is going to be left-handed.  That is good news to me..  I wish I would have seen her today.  Maybe next week … Tyler is still in lock up.  It’s pretty quiet without him here, he makes things interesting.  I played a few games of Scrabble with Jason today (he was pretty stoned) but most of the time I just watched tv.  I had a relaxing day.  I just hope its all over next week though.  I gotta get out of here.

April 25

And another weekend comes to its end.  Well it may be my last one here, I wonder.  Except for the fuck up with the visit, things went well.  Time really does go faster in max.  I don’t know if I would take a move now if they offered it to me.  I’m content where I am.  I’ve got things to do tomorrow, letters to write, complaints to put in, calls to make … tonight I go to bed hoping to receive good news tomorrow that I’ve been waiting for.  Please ….

April 26

I didn’t get the news I was hoping for today.  Brian S. told me that the Detox has me rescheduled for May 31.  But my [mother] says that Peter called for her and the they told [Counselor] it was the 3rd.  She’s going to check it out tomorrow, so there is still some hope.  There’s always hope, as Santa would say … Susan took me down to the library this morning to sort some books.  Thank god she’s here but I think this is her last week.  Mine too please …

Tyler came back this evening. So things are back to normal.  But we got a new guy too – some kid from St. John who wants to watch hockey.  No sports in this unit though … Fire alarm just went off – second time in a week.  This is getting annoying … they fed us liver for supper, also the second time in a week.  That’s even more annoying, disgusting really.  I don’t know how anyone can eat that shit.  I’m making a lot of meals out of peanut butter lately.  I’m really looking forward to Pizza Delight and Kentucky Fried Chicken … and then the Big Slice [a Toronto pizza chain].

April 27

I heard some interest[ing] news today from my mother.  [reg learns that his ex-wife is now seeing someone - which is acceptable to everyone, but Reg is devastated]. ... ’m stunned.  …  must be extremely lonely.  Wow.  …  I think I just fully realized how much I must care for them now.  I’m going to have to try hard to be a really good father and maybe someday I will have custody.  I think now that this is the reason that prompted her to go for the separation.

Her lawyer called me today and said that [Janine] was in a panic to get it signed before I got out.&nb, [!*!] her.  I’ll sign it when I’m good and ready to sign it ...

[Valerie] is too young to know what’s going on.  I wish I could be a bigger influence in her life.  This situation makes me uncomfortable to say the least … … …

… the good news today is that my mother confirmed that I am on the list for the May 3 program.  I only hope Brian S. is able to get it cleared in time.  After all its only 6 days away.  I’m getting so anxious to get on with my life.  There’s so much out there to be experienced.

 

April 28

The end is finally in sight.  Brian Smith was here today with a completed parole application which he is rushing to Moncton today.  Time is short but there is a good possibility that I will be ok’ed for the program starting on Monday.  If not then, then on the 31st. Either way, I’m on my way out.  Brian has been pretty helpful and wrote a good report.  All I can do now is hope for the best.  Random notes from this period – may have been trying to write music:

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April 29

Another day of Scrabble.  Tyler seems to win almost all the games.  Jason is going to medium tomorrow so it will be just me and Tyler here for the weekend, unless some comes in tomorrow.  One of Tylers friends brought in some Demerol today.  Interesting to know that it might be easily available as it does not show up on pee tests.  Might be just the ticket for a guy in rehab.

… this morning I got a letter from the Attorney General, a response to a letter I wrote to Lawrence MacAuley two months ago.  It seems to be quite a coincidence as I mentioned in yesterdays letter to Mr. MacAuley that I had not received a response.  I’m suspicious that my letter yesterday may have been opened.  The letter I received today was also opened and then taped shut.  I don’t trust these bastards.  I hope I am able to talk to Lawrence about this place after I get out …

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I called [Janine]s lawyer this morning and told her that I would not sign the agreement as is, and explained my reasons to her which I think were quite valid.  [Janine] is going to be pissed, no doubt, still playing the bitch.  Apparently, she has threatened to keep the kids from my parents.  Looks like she plans to use the kids as a weapon.  She’s a very bitter woman.  I wish I knew why.  I may never know, because I don’t expect that she wants to talk …

Tomorrow is the day when I find out when I’m getting out.  I’m looking forward to some good news.

April 30

Things didn’t work out today; no word from Brian.  So I’ll be in this fucking hole for another month.  Very disappointing to say the least.  But I was prepared to accept this, disappointment has become a familiar feeling to me this past year.  Nobody is in any hurry to help me out around here … I was able to meet with

Verna today and she gave in on the books.  She’s going to buy me NA books and allow me to have educational books brought in.  I think she was trying to placate me in case I got out today.  Anyway, it’s a good thing as long as I can get access to the library and computer room for max.  I think Susan is finished working here so I expect that to be difficult.  There’s always something to fuck things up …

I called [Janine] this evening and explained my reasons for not wanting to sign the agreement.  She seemed to accept my decision, but who knows what she’s really thinking.  ... I’m better off without her.  Too bad there’s kids involved.  Somewhere out there I’ll find something better.

May 1

Another dull day.  Another fucking month to go.  I guess it was pretty hot out today (25C) but I didn’t go out.  I don’t want to see what I’m missing.

Funny, but two days ago it was snowing, a storm really.  The power was out here.  It was just me and Tyler, but another guy came in this evening, Rueben.  No Scrabble today, just sleep and watching tv.

I called home to tell them I’ll be another month but they knew that anyway.  They say [Janine] has calmed down, “come down off her high horse”.  I think it’s agreed that we will talk it out.  My father has said that he advised Lawrence MacAuley’s staff that we sent a letter so perhaps I will see some action there. He also plans to talk to him about this place.  They’re not going to forget about me around here for a while … I really wish I was home now.  This place is getting to me.  I’m going to ask for a TA for family problems but I expect it will be refused.  There is no compassion in this place. It’s a very cold negative environment.

Wrote a letter to [Janine] last night which I will fix up tomorrow and send.  Im trying to make peace with her and make her feel guilty at the same time.  I think our problems could have been worked out if only we had talked about them ...

May 2

Today is a first for me.  I went outside wearing shorts (I have nice legs for a guy).  I guess I’ve overcome that fear.  I’m going to emerge from this a new man … everything’s all right in our unit except maybe that we’re watching too many movies.  I hate watching movies on tv.  This new guy, Reuben is alright now that I’ve adjusted to him.  Might even be a source of Demerol.  I might be speaking with him when he gets out.  He’s involved in coke quite heavily too.  Got me thinking about the money again.  Would be nice to go away with some …

Macleer

May 3

Cleaned up my room today (#666).  That’s a major achievement for me.  It was an awful mess but the guards don’t bother me about it anymore.  Maybe they do understand me.  It was nice out again today so I went out. I’m going to get a tan this year, first time since I was a kid.  I may even take my shirt off ... Tyler didn’t get his drugs so he was disappointed.  Looks like the Demerol are all gone so I am disappointed too.  But I should have some connections when I get out of here.  Went to church again tonight.  It was kinda boring but the only time we get together with the other units.  It’s nice to get out of the unit for an hour too.  Of course, I’d never go to church if I wasn’t in jail … I’ve had a sore stomach and back a bit lately.  I don’t know what’s causing this.  I’d get better if I eat but I don’t really think it’s caused by hunger alone.  The nurse gave me some Maalox. So I’ll see if that works.  It seems like she doesn’t want me to have Gravol.  She thinks I might be trying to get high.  I think her husband should hit her a little harder, knock some sense into the bitch …

the guards are letting us stay up late tonight to watch “The Rock”, which is unusual, especially with [Guard 3] working … Finally got to the library this evening, after them putting us off all last week.  I put in a complaint which I worded to be rude cause I was pissed off yesterday.  Joe took me aside this morning and said that kind of thing makes enemies.  I don’t care about making enemies but I told him to throw out the complaint anyway.  Lorrie joked that he “hoped I’d give them a good report” if he took us there.  I think they all now know that I’m quite capable of causing trouble if they piss me off … I think I’m going to stay here in max until Tyler goes on the 20th.  We get along pretty good so why not.

May 4

I went outside again and even had my shirt off – another first.  I probably haven’t done that in over 20 years.  I should have a nice tan when I get out of here.  I hope to go to the gym in Summerside too and work off my fat.  I’ll be a very handsome guy.

… still no drugs for Tyler, he’s not happy.  Everything keeps falling through for him … I beat him good in Scrabble a couple of times today …

Richard got out today.  He left me his number so I can call him in Toronto. … I heard today that John B. took a month off.  He must be in the Detox.  I’ll be pissed off if I found out he took my spot in Summerside.  Anything’s possible with these bastards around here.  He should have went while Susan was still here.  There won’t be any access to the computers for a month now.  What a fucked up place this is.  Twenty six more days, well maybe a few less.

May 5

I was sick this morning.  My stomach is bothering me a lot lately.  At least [the Nurse] finally gave in today and said she’ll let me see the doctor, after a month of complaining …  Rueben went to court today and got remanded so he’ll be with us for a while.  I guess that’s ok.  Another fellow came in too, Steven R. … Tyler’s getting some pills tomorrow so I’m a-hoping I’ll get a piss test tomorrow morning.  Its been a while.  Really not much happened today, it was just another day.

May 6

I’m all alone here tonight.  I’m not exactly sure what happened.  Tyler got his Valium today and took a bunch (too many) this afternoon (he gave me 4 but asked for them back later).  He was pretty well wrecked (call a towtruck) and Vern would let him make a phone call so he said he was gonna ‘go off’.  He was getting ready for war (crib boards ready) and then [Guard 3] called him out to talk to John, the CO III [Correctional Officer], and locked the unit down behind him (which meant he wasn’t coming back in).  At this point, I went to a visit with my mother.

When I got back, they were all gone:  Tyler, Rueben, Steven.  And the unit obviously had been torn apart for drugs, including my room which I’m a little pissed off about cause I wasn’t even involved.  I’m thinking that Tyler should stop taking Valium cause when he does he always end up in the hole.  And he’s not as happy and good natured as he usually is.  I might try and send him the meditation book that I got today, though I doubt they’ll allow that.

… my visit was alright although still behind glass, of course.  I think I will attempt an open visit again, see what happens.  I’d really like to see Steven and [Valerie].  I’d like to see [Pauline] too but that will have to wait …  Saw [Guard 2] when I was going to my visit and he asked me when I was coming down to medium.  It’s not up to me, is what I told him.  Although I like it here, I wish [Counselor] would fuck off and smarten up so I would have the option of going there …  tomorrow, I should call Brian S. and see what’s going on.  It’s going to be a long quiet weekend here.  I don’t expect that they’ll be back for at least 3 days, probably not till Monday.  I suppose the good thing is that I can watch whatever I want on t.v. …

May 7

Today was the 20th anniversary of this place and what a farce it was.  New curtains and chairs in the kitchen.  We were locked in all afternoon. Tyler, Rueben and Steven got sent to Summerside for the afternoon.  I wish I had done something to fuck it up … I had the unit to myself all day and I found it peaceful.  I don’t think they’ll be back till Sunday or even Monday …

 I got a sunburn on my back today.  Shouldn’t be too long before I have a tan … Jennifer wasn’t in this weekend, or last, I’m kinda disappointed.  I look forward to seeing her.  Her and I would make cute babies. … And I’m a-kinda looking forward to having the place to myself all weekend.  Tomorrow I can watch American Justice (KILL! KILL!) all day, no movies …

May 8

Another peaceful day alone in the unit.  Well, Steven got back this evening, tomorrow for Tyler and Rueben they say.  I was told that if I had been there when everything happened they would have taken me too, for suspicion.  I guess my mother came at just the right time … my stomach pain is gone today.  Nice to have a respite from that … I got a sunburn on my chest, stomach and legs too today.  Hope it stays sunny for a few more days … the guards brought in some Moncton newspapers today – nice to read that for a change.  I haven’t seen the Summerside paper today so I’ll have something to read tomorrow, most fortunate, yes …

May 9

Tyler came back this evening so all is back to normal.  They’re keeping Rueben for a while cause he tried to hang himself for a cigarette (?!?).  This foolish place … I got myself sunburned back and front, I think that should turn into a tan.  So maybe, I’ll come out of here looking like an Indian … three more weeks and I’m outta here. Yabba-dabba-doo!

May 10

Everything was ok today except for church.  They made us watch a god movie which nearly drove me foolish.  I had to get up and ask to leave … Rueben is still in the hole.  The narcs were out here tonight, maybe to talk to him.  He’s got a really big mouth.  I won’t be surprised if he gets himself killed when he gets out of here … Tyler had an interview for his pre-sentence report today.  I think he’s a good chance of getting a lighter sentence if he plays up his addiction.  I’d like to see him get control of that cause he’s a pretty good guy.  We’re all gonna be ok when this is over.

May 11

I got a visit arranged today for Saturday with the kids.  I’m a-looking forward to that.  And I called Anne today but she wasn’t home.  She called back but they wouldn’t let me talk to her.  What’s that all about? … and Georgina took me to the computer room this afternoon, so I got some letters written there.

For the rest of the afternoon, I talked to Tyler about his addiction.  We’re trying to figure out how to get him some help when he gets out.  That’s twelfth step work I think.  I think now that I’m going to stay in max and see what happens with Tyler.  Time seems to go by well with me and him and Steve.  I’ve only got a couple of weeks left anyway (I hope).

May 12

Finished up my letters to Ontario treatment centres (fourteen of them) and got ‘em in the mail today along with another application to Canadian … no word from Anne today. [Supervisor] told me that she called yesterday and said that she would call back, maybe tomorrow.  I get to see the doctor tomorrow.  He’s putting me on some kind of medication for my stomach.  He mentioned that back pain could be caused by a pancreas problem common, I guess, in heavy drinkers.  That knowledge may come in handy someday …

I called Irene for Tyler this afternoon to get him some advice. His lawyer is going to contact Dr. Jones for him … I haven’t been outside for the past few days cause its cold out there.  My skin is still red.  I thought it would have turned into a tan by now. Hmmm.  I’m expecting to hear from parole any day now and know for sure that I’m a getting outta here.

May 13

Another day gone by.  Pretty much uneventful.  Started my new medication today.  Can’t remember what its called.  Lost a couple of games of Scrabble.  Practiced my typing – I’m at 25 wpm – 28 tops.  Just another day, it was neither good nor bad, just another day.

May 14

An interesting day it was.  I was on the computer this afternoon and [Supervisor] called me to his office because Anne was on the phone.  I didn’t get to talk very long but she said she might have a place for me to stay at her fathers farm, near the airport, that could work out alright.  She hasn’t heard anything about my application though.  Then after I talked to her I had a visit from a Rep. of the Nurses Association.

She’s investigating my complaint against the beast, [nurse].  I hope the bitch gets fired.  I imagine she’ll be very sour the next time I see her … And Brian S. was here today.  He hasn’t heard anything yet but he told me not to panic yet.  Everything should work out alright.

May 15

I finally got my long awaited visit.  My parents and the kids were here for an hour.  I have a pretty good batch of kids.  I’m very proud of them.  [Valerie] is incredibly cute (looks like me and takes after me too, I hope).  They’re both good looking and smart too, just like me!  I don’t really like seeing them in this setting but it’s better than not seeing them at all.  Hopefully, next time I see them I’ll be in Summerside and will be able to go out for a while …

I made plans to get rid of my dope.  I hope that will be taken care of today, I mean, over the next two weeks.  It would be nice to have some money waiting for me when I get out.  Then I can get my car going and get outta here.  I’m looking forward to getting to Toronto and getting on with life.  I hope that things start coming together for me.

May 16

Can’t say that I did much today, just some thinking and scheming and plotting and planning.  I’m trying to figure out how to make some quick cash quietly when I get out … [my brother] and my father fucked things up with my stuff.  This is really frustrating.  I can’t get anything done from here.  I hope I can straighten it out tomorrow but I wasn’t planning on discussing it over the phone.  Why does it have to get complicated? …

I’m feeling a bit sick today – must be catching (caught) a cold.  My cigarettes don’t taste as good as normal.  I’ll have to see what kind of mood [the nurse] is in tomorrow and maybe ask her for something.

May 17

I want out of here.  I’m getting anxious to hear about my parole.  I should be starting the program two weeks from today.  I can’t wait (well, I can hardly wait) till that is confirmed.  Now that its getting nice outside, the days seem to be getting longer … there’s a guy in here from New Brunswick who sounds to have some good connections.  I’m waiting to get a chance to talk to him.  I might be able to do George a favor, make up for past mistakes.  And maybe make something for myself.